Leon Gets
by Org.XIIIisbetterthantheAkatski
Summary: A bunch of crackish drabbles revolving around Leon. OOC-ness. Crack. Current Chapter: Leon gets sick and Yuffie is determined to help him!
1. Irrationally Enraged

**AN**: Hey, guys. I'm having total writer's block for my TDI stories and I'm on a huge KH hype. So, lucky you. You get this: a bunch of crackish drabbles about Leon. Yay…!

**Disclaimer**: I don't own anything. Seriously.

--

Leon Gets…Irrationally Enraged!

It was just another normal day in Radiant Gardens: the sun was shining, the marketplace was bustling. What could possibly go wrong on such a perfect day? I'll tell you what. Leon with an attitude problem and Cloud as the victim.

It had started as just a harmless question. Cloud had been hanging by the marketplace vacantly, planning on some way to find Sephiroth. Nothing out of the ordinary there. But then, Leon came into the picture.

He had walked past with his hands jammed into his pockets and a scowl on his face. Cloud had only glanced over and asked, "What's wrong with you?".

If only he had known how much trouble that one question could cause.

Leon stopped, whipped around, and gave Cloud a glare that could kill. Cloud was slightly surprised by the action, but nonetheless kept his calm demeanor. If only the same could have been said for Leon.

"What's my problem?" Leon had said lowly with his teeth gritted. Cloud gave a simple nod, unknowing of the argument that was to follow.

"I'll tell you what my problem is! I'm surround by complete morons!" the brunet snarled, clenching his fists. Cloud narrowed his eyes slightly.

"Oh, really? What's that supposed to mean?" he asked, getting slightly angry at Leon's words.

"Exactly what I mean! Everyone in this freakin' place is a complete moron! You, Aerith, Cid, Yuffie, Merlin! I feels like I'm the only one with any sense around this place!" Leon shouted angrily. Cloud, now having forgotten all previous plans to kill Sephiroth, angrily pulled out his Buster Sword.

"You wanna take this_ outside_, Leonhart?" the blond man snarled. Leon had gotten out his Lionheart.

"We're _already _outside, Strife." Leon replied, tightening his grip on his sword.

"Then, bring it on, _SeeD punk_!" Cloud said through gritted teeth.

"Whatever you say, _Materia boy_!" Leon said, spitting out the nickname like venom. Needless to say, the day was anything but normal after that. The aftermath: two injured swordsmen, a very mad Aerith, and one poor moogle that was scarred for life.

--

**AN**: I know; it was short and stupid. This is what happens when I get bored. The next one should be longer, but in the meantime, ideas are accepted. All you have to do is fill out the form below.

**Leon gets…:**

**One or Two Sentence Summary:**

**Next Chapter**: Leon gets drunk.

After one too many drinks, Leon gets a little intoxicated. Yuffie, on the other hand, gets perfect blackmail.

R&R!!!


	2. Drunk

**AN**: Now it's time for the second chapter! Whoo.

**Disclaimer**: I own absolutely nothing. "The Happy Song" belongs to Liam Lynch and everything else in this chapter belongs to Square Enix.

--

Leon Gets…Drunk!

Night had began to fall on Radiant Garden, and only a few still remained outside. Of those few were the Radiant Garden Restoration Committee, minus Leon.

The Gunblade Wielder said he would be going out and that he would return soon. That was two hours ago. Yuffie and Aerith had somehow managed to convince Cloud to help look for Leon and now they all three were walking the streets, calling out his name as if he was a lost dog.

"Leon! Where'd you go?" Yuffie called out loudly, but, just like the other 27 times she had tried, there was no response.

"What if something happened to him? He didn't have his Gunblade with him when he left and he won't answer his phone…he could have gotten hurt!" Aerith said worriedly.

"He'll be fine." Cloud mumbled, not actually caring what happened to Leon. Yuffie glared at him.

"You aren't even helping, Spike!" she protested. Cloud sighed.

"Leon. Where are you. Answer me." Cloud said half-heartedly. After a few seconds, he shrugged.

"Oh, well. I tried." he said. Yuffie was about to yell at him some more, but stopped when she heard something.

"Wait a sec…you guys hear that?" Yuffie asked slowly approaching a nearby bar.

"Yuffie! What are you doing?" Aerith asked. Yuffie peeked in the door a little and her eyes widened.

"Leon!" she exclaimed. Aerith and Cloud walked over.

"What?" Cloud said, not believing that _Leon_ could actually be out drinking. But sure enough, Leon sat in the bar with his leather jacket off and his hair falling in his eyes. Hanging loosely in his hand was a practically empty beer bottle. Cloud smirked.

"He's probably so wasted right now. Within the next five minutes, he's gonna do something humiliating and remember nothing about it in the morning." he said, laughing on the inside.

"Oh, come on, Cloud. This is _Leon_, we're talking about." Yuffie said in disbelief. Cloud shook his head.

"No, Yuffie. This is Drunk Leon we're talking about." he said. As if on cue, Leon shakily got out of his seat, stumbling slightly before steadying himself.

"Watch." Cloud whispered lowly.

"Hold on, hold on, hold on…hold on for a minute. Hold on. I…I'd like…I'd like ta…ta dedicate dis song…ta whoev'r the hell wrote dis song!" Leon shouted in a drunken stupor. Cloud smirked sadistically, Aerith's eyes widened, and Yuffie grinned as she pulled out her camera phone.

"I'm really special 'cause dere's only one of me! Look at my smile, I'm so damn happy! The people are jealous of me!" Leon slurred in tune. Half of the people in the bar were already drunk, so they found nothing wrong with the outburst of "The Happy Song". The other half were either unconscious or they saw this shit happen every night.

"Told ya." Cloud said, looking down to Yuffie. Said ninja only nodded distractedly as she continued to record Leon's drunken actions.

"Should we stop him?" Aerith asked. Cloud shook his head.

"It's best to just wait until he knocks himself out. Then, we drag him home and leave him a bucket for when he pukes during his hangover. An icepack and some aspirin might help, too." the blond said, with his hands in his pockets.

"Watch out all you mothers, I'm happy as hardcore! Happy as a coupon for a $20 whore!"

"Why?" Aerith asked.

"The icepack for whatever he hits when he crashes and the aspirin for the headache he's gonna have when he wakes up." Cloud explained.

"Wow, Cloud. You act like you're an expert on the subject." Yuffie said, still recording. Cloud gave a light shrug.

"I've been around the 'Getting Drunk' block a couple times." he said.

"Welcome to my happy world, now get your shit and leave! I am happy, I am good, I am…I'm outta here!" Leon shouted/slurred angrily. He threw the empty beer bottle down and stumbled toward the door. Aerith , Yuffie, and Cloud let Leon stumbled onto the street, though Yuffie continued to film him. Aerith walked toward him.

"Leon…" she started, but he held up a hand to her face.

"S'rew you!" he muttered, before collapsing. Cloud walked over to him and kicked him in the ribs.

"No response. He's out cold." he stated. Yuffie grinned.

"That was awesome! Perfect blackmail! I can't wait to show this to Leon in the morning!" she exclaimed eagerly. Cloud and Aerith looked down on the passed out Leon.

"I'll get 'im." Cloud muttered as he started to pick up the brunet.

--

**AN**: Okay, so now Leon's gotten irrationally enraged and drunk. What's next?

**Next Chapter**: Leon gets a hangover.

Due to his actions one night prior, Leon is stuck with a massive hangover. Which wouldn't be so bad if Yuffie would just leave him the hell alone!

R&R!!!


	3. A Hangover

**AN**: Drabble Number Tres! The continuation of "Leon Gets Drunk!"

**Disclaimer**: I don't even own any sanity. How could I possibly own Kingdom Hearts?

--

Leon Gets…A Hangover!

Early the next morning, Yuffie was awake and hyper as ever. Since Leon's drunk escapades the previous night, Yuffie had downloaded the clip off of her phone and burned it to a DVD, with a little help from Cloud. Okay, a lot of help from Cloud.

Grabbing the DVD off of her desk, Yuffie headed downstairs with a grin on her face. Walking into the living room, she was greeted by moans of pain and the sounds of puking. This, however, didn't faze Yuffie as she approached the man on the couch.

When Cloud had (quite literally) dragged Leon home, the unconscious man had been dumped on the couch for the night, just because Cloud didn't feel like taking Leon all the way upstairs to his room. No one had a chance to argue, because Cloud had immediately gone upstairs.

As Cloud had advised, Aerith had set up a bucket with some water in it for when Leon woke up, along with some aspirin and an ice pack for where Cloud had kicked him. Leon was now making use of the bucket by emptying the contents of his stomach into it, breathing heavily.

"Hiya, Squall!" Yuffie shouted happily. Said man puked again before lifting his head up slightly. His hair was a mess and his eyes were tired. He slowly wiped his mouth before speaking.

"My name…is Leon." he said between breaths. Yuffie shrugged a little.

"Yeah, whatever. Guess what?" she said in her normal hyper fashion. Leon gave small groan.

"If I say 'What?', will you leave me alone?" he asked, holding his forehead in pain.

"May…be." Yuffie said with a grin, holding the DVD behind her back. Leon sat up a little.

"Alright, fine. What?" he asked. Yuffie pulled out the DVD from behind her back.

"I got something to show you!" she said. Leon laid down and closed his eyes.

"Not interested." he mumbled, holding the bridge of his nose. Yuffie gave a whine, which made Leon cringe.

"But, Squall-" she started, but Leon cut her off.

"Leon." he growled with his eyes still closed. She rolled her eyes.

"Whatever your name is!" Yuffie shouted angrily. Leon gave a loud groan before holding his head and curling into the fetal position.

"Not so loud…" he muttered, slowly opening his eyes. Yuffie crouched down to look him in the eyes.

"What?" he muttered through clenched teeth.

"This is something you _gotta_ see, though!" Yuffie whispered. Leon tried to glare at her, but, in his weakened state, it looked like he was squinting at her.

"For the last time, Yuffie! I'm _not_ taking up yoga!" he whispered harshly. Yuffie shook her head.

"It's not that! Besides, aren't you wondering what happened last night? And why your side hurts _really_ bad?" she asked. Leon gave her a questioning glance.

"How would you know?" he asked. Yuffie held up the DVD.

"I got it on tape! Duh!" she said as if it were obvious. Leon winced slightly.

"Can we please go back to whispering now?" he asked weakly. Yuffie nodded as she put the DVD on and turned the volume down low. Then, Leon saw everything; from the first line of "The Happy Song", to Cloud kicking him in the side.

"You didn't even try to stop me from publicly humiliating myself?" he asked in a hushed tone, though it was still obvious he was angry. Yuffie nodded slowly.

"Yeah…but only 'cause Cloud said it would be better to wait until you knocked yourself out!" she pointed out.

"Of course. It all comes back to Cloud. I'm gonna kill him." Leon muttered, holding his side in pain. He glared at the screen for a minute before grabbing the bucket and puking again.

"As soon as I can keep breakfast down." he muttered to himself.

--

**AN**: All right! I'm running out of ideas here! If anyone is reading this, please! I need ideas! I crave ideas! I've only got one or two left!

**Next Chapter:** Leon gets pwn'd.

A Radiant Garden newbie challenges Leon. The result leaves Leon with a bruised pride.

R&R!!!


	4. Pwn'd

**AN**: I begged…no, _pleaded_…for ideas…and only _one_ person reviewed (Thanks, Revolution Remix IX!). Seriously though, guys. If anyone cares about this story, you're gonna have to help me get over my idea block! But enough of my whining. On with the story!

**Disclaimer**: I don't own anything except my OC, Rosco Skratt.

--

Leon Gets…Pwn'd!

Leon had just finished his daily Heartless patrol out by the bailey, after doing his normal rounds. Nothing weird there, until the scarred man noticed a group Heartless down in the Great Maw. Upon closer inspection, Leon caught a faint flash of red before the Heartless engulfed it.

The Gunblader ran as fast as he could to the area and cut down the Heartless. Luckily, the victim had not had its heart taken yet. The creature sat up from its laying down position.

"Hey, thanks!" it said with a grin. Its voice was obviously male, though not too deep. It resembled a cat in some ways, though its hands were human-like and it's tail ended in a triangle, like a devil's. It was covered in blood red fur with copper-ish brown eyes. It had a black robber mask tied around its head, making its eye color pop out against the dark material, along with a dull green open vest, a pair of light brown shorts, and some dark brown fingerless gloves.

The cat-devil creature stood up on its back paws (it only stood up to about a foot and a half) and dusted of its shorts. Looking up at Leon, it held it tiny paw out.

"Name's Rosco! Rosco Skratt!" it said. Leon gave a nod of acknowledgement, before turning and walking away. Rosco lowered his paw slightly, before chasing after the man.

"Y-y'know, that's the part where you tell me your name…and not just walk away." he said looking up. Leon continued walking.

"Leon. Be careful out there next time." he replied. The small creature grinned.

"Aw, I could have taken those things on! They just caught me off-guard, was all." Rosco said. Leon glanced down at Rosco, before looking back up.

"Keep talking like that and you won't survive." Leon commented. Rosco stopped and frowned.

"B-but I'm serious! …In fact I bet I could take you down right now!" the Skratt shouted in protest. That statement caused Leon to stop and look back.

"…You're kidding me." Leon stated after a long silence. Rosco shook his head rapidly.

"Nuh-uh! I've fought tougher things than you! I could prove it!" he said with determination. Leon walked over and crouched down to his level. Rosco was still shorter by about 4 inches.

"Don't you think that fight would be a little…unfair?" Leon asked. Rosco paused in thought.

"Yeah…you're probably right…" the cat creature mumbled. Leon was about to say something before Rosco piped up again.

"I should probably tie one of my hands behind my back, huh?!" he said with a sheepish grin. Leon had to resist the urge to face-palm himself.

"I kind of meant the other way around." the Gunblader stated. Rosco looked at him.

"Huh? Wait, you think I couldn't beat you?" he asked. Leon gave a slight nod.

"Well, how about we test it! You and me, right now!" Rosco said with determination in his voice. Leon looked away uncertainly. Rosco really wanted to fight him…but Leon didn't want to hurt the little guy…

"Um, are you sure about that?" Leon asked. Rosco grinned.

"Sure, I'm sure! Come on, one quick battle!" he said with a wide grin and hopefulness in his copper eyes. Kind of like how Yuffie did when she wanted Leon to get her ice cream.

"I don't know, Rosco…I mean, I still have to finish my patrol…" Leon lied. His patrol ended five minutes ago, but he want anything to get out of hurting the poor little cat thing. Rosco gave a small pout.

"Aw, come on! Will the world end if you take a quick five minute battle break?" he asked.

"Maybe…the Heartless won't wait…" Leon said. Rosco's mood visibly drooped as he sighed.

"Fine, I get it…" he said sadly. Leon almost gave a sigh of relief.

"You don't wanna fight me 'cause you're scared…" Rosco continued as he walked away. Leon froze.

"Whoa, wait a second. What was that?" Leon asked angrily. Rosco turned.

"Well, you're not a very good liar, Leon. No offense. And the only reason I can find that you wouldn't want to fight me is that you're a chicken." the tiny creature explained.

"Hey, I never said that!" Leon said angrily. Rosco seemed slightly surprised.

"Then, if you're not chicken, why won't you fight me real quick?" he asked. Leon gripped his Lionheart tightly.

"Fine. We'll fight." he said, still slightly angry. Rosco perked up and grinned.

"ALRIGHT!" the red Skratt shouted happily, pumping his fist into the air. It was at that point that Leon had just realized what he had done.

_Dammit…I fell prey to name-calling…_, he thought angrily as Rosco leapt around happily.

--

In a few minutes, Rosco and Leon were both in battle positions. Leon held his Gunblade while Rosco only had his fists held in front of him.

"Now, you're positive that you want to do this?" Leon asked. Rosco grinned mischievously.

"Leon, you already agreed to fight! There's no getting out this time!" He said. Leon sighed.

"I'll take that as a yes, then…" he muttered.

"You can take the first move!" Rosco said. Leon stopped himself from rolling his eyes before charging forward with his Gunblade. Rosco back-flipped out of the way and went into a stance with a fist in his open palm and his eyes closed. Leon watched him for a minute.

_What the heck is he doing…?_, Leon thought as Rosco stood, unmoving and barely breathing. Then, in a split second, Rosco's paws had caught fire and his eyes snapped open, now a fiery orange. Leon was taken aback for a moment, before holding Lionheart in front of him.

Rosco, now in a trance, darted forward. Leon guessed he was about to attempt a head-on attack, so he held his Gunblade ready. But at the last minute, Rosco bounded over Leon in as single leap. Leon barely had a chance to turn around before he was knocked out cold.

--

"Hellooo? Leon? You okay, buddy?"

Leon's eyes slowly opened. As he did, he felt the back of his head pound with aching pain. He found himself sprawled out on the ground with Rosco (no longer in his fire state) sitting atop his chest. Lionheart was lying next to him, unharmed.

"Leon! You're alive! Almost thought I lost ya there!" Rosco said with a smile. Leon sat up slightly, causing Rosco to jump off.

"Wha-what happened?" Leon asked, slightly dazed. Rosco gave a sheepish grin.

"Well, when I landed behind you, I kinda threw a rock at your head." the cat explained, rubbing the back of his head. Leon gave him a confused look.

"A-a rock…? You had fire powers, and all you did was throw a rock?" Leon questioned. Rosco nodded.

"Yeah, I only use the fire powers against real enemies. I only use them when sparring to distract the opponent." he said. Leon sat up all the way.

"Uh, you sure you're okay? You know how to get back okay?" Rosco asked in concern. After all, it was kind of all his fault Leon was in pain. Leon nodded slightly before wincing. Rosco looked down at his feet guiltily.

"…I probably should have used a smaller rock…" he mumbled to himself. Leon grabbed his Gunblade and stood up.

"You want me to walk you into town? The Heartless could try to attack you again." Leon offered. Rosco looked up.

"Yeah, thanks. I mean as long as you aren't mad at me or anything…" Rosco said, drifting off.

"No. You warned me; I just didn't listen." Leon said as he began walking back to Radiant Garden. Rosco grinned as he followed.

--

After he and Rosco went separate ways, Leon had headed back home and collapsed on the couch.

"Leon! There you are! Where have you been? We were all worried!" Aerith asked.

"_Almost_ all of us." Cloud mumbled. Leon held the back of his head for a minute, before turning to Aerith.

"I got beat up by a cat."

After that statement there was an awkward silence. The silence was broken when Yuffie broke out laughing and Cloud started snickering.

--

**AN**: I really like that last scene. Now, I will try again. Ideas are needed if this story's gonna stay alive! Help,_ please_! I'm _begging_ you!

**Next Chapter **(idea from Revolution Remix IX)**:** Leon gets a check-up!

Leon thinks he's got a deadly disease! Everyone else thinks it's just a stupid cold.

R&R!!!


	5. A CheckUp

**AN**: Chapter 5! My first fan-taken idea! This chapter was inspired half by Revolution Remix IX's idea and half by a true story.

**Disclaimer**: I don't own nothing. Not even no good grammar skills.

--

Leon Gets…A Check-Up!

Leon walked into the kitchen, rubbing his neck lazily. It had been hurting since he woke up. He sat down at the table without a word. Yuffie looked at him while she continued to stuff pancakes into her mouth.

"Mornin'." she mumbled with her mouth full. Cloud gave a slight nod in his direction. Leon grunted as a response, but then noticed something.

"Where's Aerith?" he asked the other two at the table.

"She said something about needing to get medicinal herbs from Agrabah. Said she would be back around 7 or 8." Yuffie said after she swallowed. Leon stopped rubbing his neck and took a bite of the eggs on the plate in front of him.

"Then, who made breakfast?" he asked.

"Cloud." Yuffie replied, jerking her thumb towards the spiky-haired man. Leon gagged slightly and Cloud rolled his eyes.

"Relax, Leonhart. If I wanted to poison you, I wouldn't do it through your eggs." Cloud said as Leon took as drink of his coffee. The blond smirked.

"I'd do it through your coffee." Cloud said. Leon immediately spit his coffee back into his cup. Cloud snickered lightly. Leon growled as he got up and started to search the cabinets.

"Whatcha lookin' for?" Yuffie asked as she took a bite out of a strip of bacon.

"Where's the aspirin?" Leon asked, starting to rub his neck again. Cloud cocked his eyebrow.

"Cabinet next to the fridge, middle shelf. Why?" he asked. Leon pulled the bottle out of the cabinet and grabbed two pills.

"Headache. Starting to get a fever, too. I think I might be getting sick." he replied, getting a glass of water. Yuffie grinned mischievously.

"Y'know, you could be getting' meningitis." she said just as she swallowed her last piece of bacon. Leon glanced at her as he swallowed the two aspirin.

"What?" he questioned.

"You know! That disease that just seems like your normal cold/flu, but by the next morning, the victim's dead! I mean, you already have the headache and the fever! And you've been rubbing your neck ever since you got down here! Stiff neck's another one of the symptoms!" Yuffie explained. Cloud nodded.

"Oh, yeah! Wasn't there a meningitis breakout among all those college students? I think there was a commercial on the Health Channel about a shot for it…" Cloud said. Leon glanced down uneasily. After a few seconds of silence, Yuffie spoke up.

"Uh, Leon…you okay?" she asked nervously. Leon glanced back up at the two of them.

"I can't remember getting that shot…" he mumbled uncertainly. Cloud rolled his eyes.

"Oh, come on, Leonhart. You, getting meningitis? In my dreams." he said, leaning up against the wall. Leon, however, didn't seem convinced.

"It-it's possible though, right?" the brunet said, starting to feel queasy. Yuffie put her arm around his shoulders.

"Leon, it was just a joke! Besides, it's probably just a lousy cold that'll go away in a couple days! You aren't gonna die!" she said.

"Even though that would make my day." Cloud spoke up. Yuffie shot a glare in his direction. Cloud shrugged.

"Just sayin'…" he muttered. Another twinge of pain hit Leon in his neck. He resisted rubbing it.

"Then, how do you explain the neck pains?" Leon questioned.

"You probably just slept on it wrong! Happens to me all the time!" Yuffie said, shrugging it off. Leon was silent and Yuffie could tell he still thought he was actually going to die. Leon walked out of the kitchen into the living room and sat on the couch, looking at the floor.

"Way to go, Spike!" Yuffie shouted at Cloud angrily. The blond held up his hands in defense.

"What'd I do?!" he asked. Yuffie glared at him.

"You made Leon sad by making all those jokes about how you'd be happy if he died!" she said, pointing a finger at him accusingly.

"Yeah, but you're the one who brought up the meningitis thing!" Cloud pointed out.

"You continued it!" Yuffie said.

"No, I was telling the truth! I really _did _see a commercial for a meningitis shot!" Cloud said, crossing his arms.

"It doesn't matter! Now, you out there and apologize!" Yuffie said, starting to sound like Aerith. Cloud stared at her in disbelief.

"For what?!" he asked angrily.

"For the death jokes!" Yuffie shouted back. Cloud turned away.

"No way in hell. I refuse to go out there and say sorry for the truth." he protested. Yuffie glared at him.

"You go out there, or I swear, I will shove my shuriken so _far_ down your throat-" she threatened, but was interrupted by Cloud.

"Alright already! I'm goin'!" Cloud shouted angrily. He sighed as walked out into the living room. He sat down in the chair across from the couch. Leon didn't even acknowledge his presence. Cloud glanced back to the kitchen to see Yuffie holding a shuriken menacingly. He looked back to Leon, who still hadn't said a word. Cloud cleared his throat uncomfortably. Leon glanced up at him, but still didn't say anything.

"Uh, hey." Cloud said uncertainly. Leon grunted and looked back down at the floor.

"Lovely carpeting, isn't it?" Cloud joked. Leon simply nodded. There was an awkward silence. Cloud sighed.

"Alright, Leonhart. I'm just gonna cut to the chase here. You know I was kidding about all those jokes about you dying, right?" he said. Leon shrugged.

"Well, I was. And I guess I should probably say sorry…so, sorry." Cloud apologized the best he could.

"I heard Yuffie threaten you." Leon mumbled. Cloud gulped slightly.

"…Really?" he asked. Leon nodded.

"And I heard you say you wouldn't apologize for the truth." he said. Cloud looked at Leon nervously.

"Yeah…I guess I probably shouldn't have said that so loud…" he said. Leon was silent. Cloud frowned.

_This isn't working…Leonhart still thinks he's gonna be dead by tomorrow morning…_, Cloud thought. He looked back at Yuffie, who was motioning for him to think of something else. Then, Cloud remembered what had started all this.

_The shot! Of course! He may not believe us, but if a doctor tells him that he already got the needle, he'll probably chill out!_, he thought.

"Hey, Leonhart." Cloud said.

"Hmmm?" Leon mumbled, looking up.

"If you're really all that worried, me and Yuf could take you see a doctor. If you won't believe us when we tell you it's just a cold, then we'll have a doctor tell you." Cloud said. Yuffie heard Cloud say this and ran in.

"Yeah! Maybe you already had your shot!" she said enthusiastically. Leon just sat there for a moment.

"I guess it wouldn't hurt…" he eventually mumbled.

--

The three members of the Restoration Committee were all seated in the waiting room of the nearby hospital. Yuffie was lazily flipping through a magazine, Cloud was harassing the fish in the fish tank by tapping the glass repeatedly, and Leon was sitting quietly as he waited for his name to be called.

"Hey, Leonhart. If you die, can I have your Gunblade?" Cloud asked, still tapping the glass on the fish tank. Yuffie elbowed him in the stomach. Cloud yelped slightly.

"Dammit, Yuffie! It was a joke!" Cloud whispered harshly.

"Yeah, but I told you to stop saying things like that! And quit messing with the fish!" Yuffie whispered back. Cloud crossed his arms angrily, mumbling things like, 'Guy can't even joke around anymore…' and 'Not my fault fish are fun to torment…'

Then, the lady at the front desk called Leon's name. Cloud stood and shoved his hands in his pockets.

"'Bout time. Let's get this over with." he muttered. Yuffie had tossed the magazine back onto the pile and stood up next to Cloud, but Leon showed no signs of getting up.

"Would you come on? Or do we have to drag you back there?" Cloud growled angrily. Leon slowly arose from his seat and walked into the doctor's office without a word. Yuffie glared at Cloud.

"Yeah, yeah, I know…'It's all my fault!'." he muttered as he and Yuffie followed Leon. As they entered to doctor's office, they found Leon already sitting down, looking as if he was waiting for the Grim Reaper instead of a doctor. Yuffie took a seat next to Leon and Cloud just leaned up against the wall.

Then, Dr. Jameson had came in. He was a relatively laid-back man with a friendly attitude. He glanced at his clipboard before giving off one of his normal smiles.

"Alrighty, Leon. What seems to be the problem?" he had asked. Leon wouldn't answer.

"He's convinced he has meningitis." Yuffie answered for him. Dr. Jameson's brow furrowed.

"Uh, excuse me. But if he did have meningitis, what would be the chances of him dying?" Cloud asked.

"I thought I told you to stop that, Spike!" Yuffie shouted. Cloud raised his hands.

"Hey, I was just curious! What, a guy can't ask questions anymore?" he said defensively.

"Well, if he did, the chances would be somewhere between 19 and 37 percent, for a man his age. But I highly doubt that he does, because, according to my records, you got that shot when you were 14, Mr. Leonhart." Dr. Jameson replied, looking at his clipboard. Leon looked up.

"What?" he asked.

"You've already had your meningococcal shot." Dr. Jameson repeated. Cloud growled.

"All this worrying over a shot you got 13 years ago?! Way to go, Leonhart. Just when I thought it wasn't possible for me to hate you anymore, you surprise me." he said angrily. Cloud pushed off the wall and walked out of the room.

"So, I can go?" Leon asked, ignoring Cloud's statement. Dr. Jameson gave the clipboard a quick scan.

"Yeaaa-no." the doctor replied. Both Leon and Yuffie were confused.

"But you just said he didn't have meningitis." Yuffie stated. Dr. Jameson nodded.

"Yes, I did. And Leon does not have meningitis. But, according to this, you missed your last appointment. The one where you had to get blood drawn." he explained. Leon gulped slightly and held his arm close to his body. Cloud had overheard the doctor's comment and poked his head back in.

"Uh, question! What would the chances be of Leon losing too much blood and dying?" he asked. Yuffie grabbed a tissue box of the counter and chucked it Cloud's head. The blond just barely missed the tissue box.

"Yuffie! Come on! What part of 'joke' don't you understand?!"

--

**AN**: There you go, Revolution Remix IX! And after going through this idea a couple times, I got another one! "Leon Gets…" stays alive for another chapter! Whoo!

**Next Chapter:** Leon gets blood drawn!

After missing his last doctor appointment, Leon needs blood drawn. Unfortunately, no one knew about Leon's fear of needles.

R&R!!!


	6. Blood Drawn

**AN**: Chapter Six! Another chapter based off of a real-life experience! Seriously, though. I'm terrified of needles, especially numbing ones and ones that draw blood.

**Disclaimer**: I own nothing but my memories. The terrible, needle-filled memories…

--

Leon Gets…Blood Drawn

As then doctor led the three down the hall to the room where Leon would have blood drawn, Cloud could faintly hear Leon…hyperventilating? Listening a little more closely, Cloud was positive that Leon's breathing pattern was off.

"Hey, Leonhart. You okay? You're breathing a little funny." Cloud asked. Leon nodded distractedly.

"Y-yeah…I'm fi-fine…" he stuttered. Yuffie looked at him oddly.

_That's weird…Leon never stutters. What's wrong with him?_, she thought. Dr. Jameson had led them to a door with a few seats outside.

"Wait here. The nurse'll call you in when she's ready." he had said before leaving them. They had taken their seats when Leon started breathing weird again.

"Okay, seriously, Leonhart. What's your problem?" Cloud asked angrily. He knew Leon was lying, but he didn't know about what. Leon shook his head.

"N-nothing!" he had protested a little too quickly. Yuffie watched him for a minute before realizing he started twitching nervously.

_Okay, something's wrong! Leon's always been cool, calm, and collected…so why is he a nervous wreck now?_, she thought. But then she figured out the truth.

"Wait a second…Leon, are you…are you scared of needles?" she asked slowly. Leon was silent for a moment.

"Maybe…" he mumbled. Cloud laughed.

"Oh, this is rich! The mighty wielder of the Gunblade is scared of needles!" he said, trying to keep himself from falling out of his seat. Leon glared at him.

"Shut up, Strife!" Leon shouted. Cloud started to calm down, but was still snickering a little.

"Is that why you missed your last doctor's appointment?" Yuffie asked. Leon shrugged slightly.

"Sort of…" he whispered. Cloud rolled his eyes.

"Come on; it's a needle! You sit down, they draw some blood, and you leave! It's over before you know it! Big whoop…" he said. Leon looked down at the tiled floor.

"Yeah, but…but it hurts…" he said, holding his arm tightly.

"For, like, two seconds!" Cloud shouted. Yuffie put her hand on Leon's shoulder, only to feel him trembling.

"Leon, trust us. It'll be fine! I get shots all the time!" Yuffie said. Leon glanced at both of them. Yuffie had a grin on her face, while Cloud looked like he just wanted to get out of there as fast as possible.

"…Okay, I trust you. Strife, not so much." Leon said to Yuffie. Cloud just flipped Leon off before speaking.

"Y'know, I think I read somewhere that fears of needles can actually kill someone." the blond stated. Leon and Yuffie looked at him in disbelief.

"Yeah, that makes me feel _real_ better, Strife." Leon said.

"Why would you even say that?!" Yuffie asked angrily. Cloud shrugged.

"Just pointing out an interesting fact. They say that the drop in blood pressure during the injection can cause death." he replied.

"I'm not going in there." Leon stated. Yuffie slapped Cloud upside his head.

"Just sayin'! Besides, all you have to do is _not think about it_. Just close your eyes, count to ten, and boom! You're done!" Cloud said. Yuffie nodded. Then, a woman came out with a screaming little boy holding his arm in pain.

"Mommy, it hurts! It hurts bad!" the kid shouted with tears streaming down his face. Leon stood up.

"That's it; I'm out of here!" he said. He tried to run away, but Yuffie stopped him. Cloud then stood up, grabbed Leon's shoulders, and pushed him back into his seat.

"Leonhart, that was five-year-old kid! They scream about everything! I mean, remember Yuffie when she was five?" Cloud shouted. Leon sat there in thought before shuddering.

"Don't remind me." Leon said. Yuffie pouted.

"I wasn't that bad, was I?" she asked. Cloud and Leon looked at each other before glancing back at Yuffie.

"Yeah, you were." they said simultaneously. Yuffie was about to protest some more, but then the nurse called Leon's name. He gulped before standing up. Cloud was about to say something, but Leon held his finger up.

"Say anything, and you'll wake up hanging off the bailey." Leon said. Cloud immediately shut up. Leon walked into the room and Yuffie followed, while Cloud just leaned up against the doorframe.

"Okay, Mr. Leonhart. All we have to do here is get a blood sample and you're free to go." the nurse explained. As she turned to get the needle, Cloud leaned down to Leon, who had sat down and started breathing funny again.

"Chill out, Leonhart! At least the nurse is hot!" Cloud whispered. Leon glared at him.

"Shut up, Strife!" Leon whispered back. The nurse had come over to Leon's chair and tied a rubber band around Leon's arm to cut off the circulation. Then, she slowly began to insert the needle into his vein. Leon closed his eyes tightly and clenched his fist. Yuffie laid a hand on his shoulder, but then noticed something.

"Leon…are you crying?" she asked softly. Cloud's eyes widened.

"Oh, you're kidding me! Leonhart's actually crying?!" Cloud asked in disbelief. Leon sniffed a little and glared at Cloud.

"Sh-shut up, Strife…" he mumbled, wiping away some tears.

--

**AN**: Yes, I made Leon a trypanophobe. I don't know about anyone else, but I like the previous chapter more than this one. But, that's just what I think.

**Next Chapter:** Leon gets amnesia.

After an incident with a baseball, Cloud gives Leon amnesia. Now, he needs to help Leon remember without killing himself.

R&R!!!


	7. Amnesia

**AN**: Okay! Lucky number seven! I personally think this chapter is pretty good, but 'A Check-Up' was better. Tell me what you think!

**Disclaimer**: I have absolutely no-thing.

--

Leon Gets…Amnesia!

Cloud walked into the living room from the kitchen with a soda in his hand. He collapsed onto the couch lazily, before casting a glance over to Leon. Said man was reading the paper.

"Why are you so boring, Leonhart?" Cloud asked dully. Leon flipped Cloud off without even looking up from his paper. Cloud muttered a barely audible '…jackass…' before cracking open his soda. As he took a drink, he noticed a box with some old junk in it lying by his feet.

"What's the box for?" Cloud asked offhandedly, setting the soda can on the table.

"It's a box of our stuff from when we were kids. Aerith said she's gonna donate it to the orphanage." Leon muttered, turning the page of the paper. Cloud looked into the box a little more closely, before pulling something out.

"Hey, it's our old baseball from Little League." he commented, tossing the ball up and down in his hand. It was just a normal baseball with some dust on it; nothing special about it, except for the two signatures scrawled on it. After looking at them for a while, one could make out the two names to be 'Squall Leonhart' and 'Cloud Strife'. Leon looked up.

"Oh, yeah. Didn't we get kicked out of Little League, though?" he asked. Cloud laughed a little.

"Yeah, but that's only 'cause we kept attacking each other with equipment." he replied. Leon smirked slightly.

"You mean like that time you said I swung like a girl, so I hit you repeatedly with a bat?" he asked. Cloud scowled, but nodded.

"Yeah, like that." he muttered sourly. He thought back on that memory for a while, tossing the ball back and forth between his hands. Finally, he stopped and threw in at Leon. Cloud snickered when it hit its mark and Leon fell backwards out of his chair.

"Sorry, Leonhart, but old habits die hard." Cloud commented, but then he realized Leon wasn't getting up or saying things like 'I'm gonna kill you, Strife!'. Cloud, grabbing his soda off the table, stood up and walked over to where Leon had fallen. Sure enough, the scarred man had been knocked unconscious. Cloud idly sipped his soda.

"Y'know, normally, I'd make a joke about this. But, seeing as if Yuffie or Aerith came in right now, I'd be in major trouble…I better not." he mumbled to himself. Putting his drink back down, he managed to drag Leon over to the couch.

"…I should probably get Aerith now." Cloud stated to no one, once he realized he had no idea what to do.

--

"What the hell were you thinkin', Strife?!"

"I was kinda thinking he would duck."

"But why would you throw a baseball at him in the first place?!"

"I dunno. He's the one who brought up the 'You swing like a girl' thing!"

He gave slight mumbles of pain and discomfort as he slowly awoke. The first thing he registered was that his head was aching with pain. The second thing was the people surrounding him. As he sat up, the brown haired woman spoke.

"Are you okay?" she asked, her voice soft and caring. He sat in silence, looking down, before looking into her green eyes.

"My head hurts." he mumbled. The older blond man shot a glare at the younger blond, who just turned away, muttering something that sounded like 'I thought he would duck!' The younger girl with short black hair ran up and embraced him in a hug.

"We're just glad you're okay!" she said happily. He shifted in slight discomfort before turning to her.

"Um…who're you?" he questioned quietly. The girl stiffened before looking him in the eyes. At first, she was sad and shocked, but then she grinned playfully.

"Ha-ha, very funny, Squall!" she shouted. He looked at her in a confused manner.

"Who's Squall?" he asked. She was sad and shocked again when he turned to the other people in the room.

"…Who am I?" he asked. The others had the same reaction as the girl had. The older blond man angrily stomped over to the younger blond. The older man lifted up the spiky blond by the collar.

"Ya hear that, Strife?! He's got no fuckin' idea who he is!" the oldest man said. The one known as 'Strife' struggled to get out of the blond man's grip.

"Okay! I get it! It's my fault!" 'Strife' shouted. The older blond released his grip.

"Yer damn right it is!" the man said. The brown haired woman looked at him sadly.

"Are you sure you can't remember anything?" she asked. He sat there, trying to remember something-_anything_-about who these people were, who _he _was, but nothing came to mind. He dejectedly shook his head, starting to feel helpless, like a blind newborn puppy with no family. The younger girl looked at him sadly.

"You mean…you can't remember me?" she asked quietly, obviously deeply hurt by his lack of memory. He once again shook his head, now feeling guilty and alone. She looked away, sorrow in her eyes.

"…Sorry…" he mumbled. He felt horrible. Not only could he not remember himself, but he hurt these people who obviously knew him. He sniffed slightly as a couple tears rolled down his face. The brown haired woman walked over and started rubbing his back soothingly.

"It's okay…" she whispered to him softly. He shook his head, wiping his face.

"No, it isn't…I can't even remember my own name!" he said hopelessly. The older blond man pushed the younger man forward.

"Then Cloud here's gonna help ya remember!" the older man shouted. 'Cloud' shouted protests.

"Whoa, what?! Why me?!" Cloud asked. The older man scowled.

"'Cause it's yer fault in the first place!" the man shouted angrily.

"B-but Cid! He brought up the 'You swing like a girl' thing!" Cloud shouted, pointing at him. He glanced away, feeling uncomfortable at being accused for something he had no memory of. 'Cid' crossed his arms.

"Cloud, yer 27! Act yer fuckin' age!" Cid shouted angrily. Cloud turned away, muttering unintelligibly. He wiped his eyes a little. The brown haired woman led the black haired girl out of the room. Cid followed, grumbling angrily. He and Cloud were the only two people left in the room. He looked away nervously when Cloud glared at him.

"You just had to get amnesia, didn't you?!" Cloud asked angrily.

"…Sorry…" he mumbled uncomfortably. Cloud started walking toward the door.

"Well, come on!" Cloud had shouted when he hadn't moved. He hastily got up and followed.

--

As they walked down the street, he got the growing feeling that Cloud didn't like him at all. Cloud was sending out an angry vibe that made him feel uncomfortable. He stayed quiet for fear of Cloud yelling at him.

"Alright. First, let's start with names. Your name is…" Cloud trailed off, signaling him to say something. He thought for a minute before sighing.

"I…I can't remember." he stated sadly. He heard Cloud groan in frustration.

"Squall Leonhart. You prefer to be called Leon, though." Cloud told him. It felt weird, having to be told his own name.

"My name is…" Cloud trailed off again.

"…Cloud, right?" he asked uncertainly. Cloud nodded.

"Last name?" Cloud asked. He was quiet again.

"Uh…um…I…I just…can't remember." he repeated, crestfallen. He hated using that excuse. It made him feel stupid and pathetic. Cloud face palmed.

"Strife!" Cloud shouted angrily. He winced at Cloud's harsh tone, before hanging his head.

"What about that girl back at the house?" Cloud questioned.

"Which one?" he asked quietly.

"The young one. With the black hair." Cloud said. He felt a twinge of guilt as her disappointed face reappeared in his head. The guilt grew when her name didn't come to mind. He stopped walking.

"What's the point, Cloud?! I can't remember! I'm trying, I really am! I'm just…I just…" he trailed off as he started crying again. He fell to his knees.

"I can't remember, Cloud. I want to, but I can't. This isn't working." he said. He waited for Cloud to yell at him, but nothing came.

"…Come on, Leonhart. Don't do this to me. You're makin' me feel guilty." Cloud said. They both stayed quiet.

"…Yuffie." Cloud said in a quiet voice. He looked up in confusion.

"Huh?" he questioned.

"Her name is Yuffie. You're like a big brother to her. That's why she was so sad when you couldn't remember her." Cloud explained.

"Oh." he mumbled. That didn't make him feel a whole lot better. If they were so close, then how come he couldn't remember her? Cloud offered his hand out, and he took it, pulling himself off the ground and wiping his face off.

"Now since pressuring you into remembering only makes you have a mental breakdown, I'm gonna try relaying information to you, alright?" Cloud said. He nodded.

"Good. Now, that other woman, the one with brown hair, her name is Aerith. And that older blond guy was Cid. This ringing any bells yet?" Cloud asked.

"Not really…" he said.

"Well, it will after a while." Cloud reassured. He glanced at his feet.

"I hope…" he mumbled to himself.

--

That night, dinner was awkward. Everyone stayed quiet, him especially. He wouldn't talk because he felt out of place. He only knew what Cloud had told him, yet he knew he should have known more. He continued mixing his peas into his mashed potatoes, not feeling hungry.

"Are you okay, Leon?" he heard the brown haired woman…Aerith say. It took him a few moments to realize that _he_ was Leon. He looked up sadly and sighed.

"Could…could I be excused from the table?" he asked. Aerith nodded and he stood up and walked into the living room. Collapsing on the couch, he tried to remember again. He wasn't really looking for anything in particular; he just wanted something Cloud hadn't told him. He heard footsteps enter the room and he looked up to see Cloud standing there.

"You okay, Leonhart?" Cloud asked. He sat there quietly before looking into Cloud's eyes.

"Am I ever gonna remember again?" he asked. Cloud frowned.

"Sure, you are. I've been helping you, haven't I?" Cloud asked. He sighed.

"I mean…am I ever gonna remember…on my own?" he asked. Cloud stayed silent, before shrugging.

"I don't know. I hope so, because right now, I can't taunt you without feeling guilty. And that's no fun." Cloud said, looking away. He looked down at the floor, and then noticed something sticking out from under the couch. He grabbed it, revealing it to be a baseball.

"What's this?" he asked, holding it up. Cloud scowled and turned away.

"The devil-ball that started all this…" Cloud mumbled. He inspected it some more, and noticed to name on it, written sloppily with permanent ink. The first one, after staring at it for a while, he made out to be 'Squall Leonhart'. The second one took some more time, but he eventually figured out that it was supposed to say 'Cloud Strife'.

He stared at it for a little while longer, his grip unintentionally tightening on it. And then…he remembered. All the thoughts and memories came flooding back, but one stood out among the rest. He growled and glared at Cloud. Cloud noticed this and frowned.

"What?" he asked. He grit his teeth angrily.

"You threw a baseball at my head, that's what!" he shouted. Cloud immediately started backing away.

"Heh, so you remember! Well, I guess my job is done!" Cloud said nervously. He stood up and dropped the baseball.

"I'm gonna kill you, Strife!"

Leon was back.

--

**AN**: Okay! Another chapter is finished! At first, I cried when I wrote this, but then I started laughing at the end.

**Next Chapter** (idea from Revolution Remix IX)**:** Leon Gets To Teach About The Birds and The Bees

Yuffie torments Leon about where babies come from. There's no need for a second sentence.

R&R!!!


	8. To Teach About the Birds and the Bees

**AN**: Another great idea from Revolution Remix IX (We should become co-writers or something)! Don't got that much to say right now…

**Disclaimer**: Do we really have to go through this every chapter? …We do?! …Fine. I don't own anything.

--

Leon Gets…To Teach About the Birds and the Bees!

"Squall, where do babies come from?"

Leon had spit out his soda as he heard Yuffie ask that question. The question shocked him so much, he hadn't even realized Yuffie had used the wrong name. Leon looked at Yuffie, who just seemed confused at his reaction.

"…What?" he asked, wiping soda from his mouth.

"Where do babies come from?" Yuffie repeated innocently.

"Where did that question come from?" he asked, still disturbed. Yuffie shrugged.

"Just wonderin'." she asked. Leon mentally groaned. Whenever Yuffie was 'just wonderin'' about something, she wouldn't leave anyone alone until she got answers.

"Why don't you ask someone else?" Leon asked, trying to get out of the despair that was 'The Talk'. Yuffie whined a little.

"'Cause Aerith's busy at the hospital, Cloud's off stalking Sephiroth somewhere, and Cid would yell at me if I asked him!" she said sadly. Leon sighed. She had him there.

"What about Merlin?" he asked. He needed to try all possible evasive maneuvers. Yuffie cringed.

"Ew, no way! He's old and creepy!" she shouted. Leon sat there, trying to think of anyone else that could help him out of this situation. He came up blank.

"Besides, you're right here! And all you're doing is sitting around, drinking soda like a bum!" Yuffie shouted. She had him again.

"Come on, Squall!" she whined. Leon glared at her.

"Leon." he said sternly. Yuffie rolled her eyes, but then grinned.

"If you tell me where babies come from, I'll never call you Squall again!" she offered happily. If he didn't know Yuffie that well, Leon might have considered that offer. But he did know Yuffie, so he immediately disregarded it.

"Please. You'd forget all about that deal by tomorrow morning." he stated. Yuffie drooped.

_Cutting a deal didn't work…time for Plan B…_, she thought. Yuffie ran up to Leon, grabbed his shirt, and buried her face into his chest.

"Please please please please please please please please!" she begged loudly. Leon groaned and pushed her off.

"Yuffie, stop." he said, but Yuffie grabbed his shirt again. However, this time she didn't beg. This time, she stared deeply into his steel-blue eyes, pulling off the best puppy-dog eyes she could muster. He looked away uncomfortably.

_Don't fall for the look, don't fall for the look, don't fall for the look…_, he repeated in his head. She noticed his uncomfortable look. She mentally grinned.

_Alright! He's about to cave! Just gotta push him over the edge…_, Yuffie thought happily.

"…Pwease…?" she asked very softly. He gritted his teeth.

_No, no, no, no, no, no, no!_, he thought angrily. But then…she pulled off 'The Pout'. One of the best pouts in the world, with the lip quivering just the right amount; not so much that it looked exaggerated, but enough for it to be consider a pout.

"Alright!" Leon finally caved. Yuffie, in a flash, jumped off of Leon and grinned again.

"Yes!" she shouted happily, jumping up and down, just like Rosco had done when Leon agreed to fight him.

_You fell for the look. Way. To go._, he thought flatly. Yuffie took a seat in front of Leon, legs crossed and looking at him expectantly. He sighed.

"Okay. Well…when a man and a woman love each other very much…" Leon paused, the conversation getting too uncomfortable already.

"Why does it have to be a man and a woman? Why can't it be two guys? Or two girls?" Yuffie asked in confusion. Leon resisted face palming.

"Yuffie, you're making this harder than it has to be." he growled, but Yuffie frowned.

"But why? Can't two guys love each other just as much as a girl and a guy?" she asked.

"Well, sure…" he said.

"Then, couldn't, say…you and Cloud have a kid?" Yuffie asked. Leon froze at that statement.

_Oh, my God! Mental! Images!_, he shouted in his head. He quickly shook his head.

"No!" Leon stated frantically. Yuffie tilted her head to the side.

"Why not?" she asked innocently.

"It doesn't work that way." Leon said.

"But, why?" Yuffie asked.

_Just kill me now. Just get it over with…_, Leon mentally begged.

"I don't know. It just doesn't." he said. Yuffie pouted.

"Fine. So, could you and Aerith have a kid?" she asked. Leon stared at her in disbelief.

"Yuffie!" he shouted/whined. Yuffie just stared at him in a confused manner.

"What?" she asked.

"Stop using me as an example!" he shouted.

"Why?" Yuffie asked. Leon pointed at her.

"And that-that's another thing! Stop asking why! This could go so much more smoothly if you just stopped questioning nature!" he shouted. This time Yuffie was quiet and she just stared at him.

"What?!" Leon asked angrily.

"Well, you said stop asking why. So, I stopped." Yuffie pointed out. At that moment, Aerith walked in, dressed in doctor scrubs. She glanced between Yuffie's confused look and Leon, who looked like he'd just come from the sauna.

"…What's going on here?" she asked quietly. Yuffie grinned.

"Leon's teaching me where babies come from!" she shouted happily. Aerith glanced back to Leon, who was mouthing, 'Help me.' Aerith smiled a little.

"I'll take it from here, Leon." Aerith said. Said man gave a sigh of relief before walking upstairs, mumbling something that sounded like, 'I need a cold shower _really_ bad.'

--

That night, everyone was sleeping peacefully. That is, until Leon woke up screaming in a cold sweat. Cloud angrily got out of bed and ripped Leon's door open.

"Leonhart, what the _hell_ is your problem?! It's 4:26 AM!" Cloud whispered harshly. Leon panted heavily before speaking.

"Mental images, Strife. Mental. Images."

--

**AN**: I actually came up with that last scene on the spot. I just thought I needed to add in how bad the mental images were. Poor Leon.

**Next Chapter**: Leon gets a pet!

Yuffie thinks that Leon needs a furry animal friend in his life. Now, Leon's got a kitten that won't leave him alone.

R&R!!!


	9. A Pet

**AN**: Chapter Nine! You know, I have nothing important to say right now. That's weird. Normally, I could find something to say, but right now, I'm pulling a blank. Oh, well! On with the story!

**Disclaimer**: I only own Leon Jr. Okay, not really. But he's in my mind!

--

Leon Gets…A Pet!

Leon walked into the building with his Lionheart slung over his shoulder after his patrol. He laid his sword up against the wall by the door, before collapsing into the nearest unoccupied chair.

"Rough day?" Aerith asked. Leon swiped some bangs out of his eyes.

"Sort of…" he mumbled, shrugging his jacket off. Just as he said that, there were sounds of running from upstairs. Yuffie ran down the steps with a grin and her hands behind her back.

"Leon! You're back!" she shouted. Leon nodded slowly.

"Yeah…the same time I'm home every day. Fancy that." he said. Yuffie grinned sheepishly and laughed a little.

"Oh, yeah!" she said. Leon rolled his eyes at the girl's behavior. Yuffie skipped over to him.

"Guess what?" she said, practically bouncing on the balls of her feet. Leon leaned back into his chair slightly.

"Not interested." he said. Yuffie pouted.

"Oh, come on, Leon! I'm serious!" she shouted.

"So am I." Leon said. Yuffie frowned.

"But I got you something!" she shouted. Leon looked at her in confusion.

"You did what?" he asked.

"I got you something!" Yuffie repeated excitedly. Leon gave a questioning glance to Aerith, who seemed just as confused as him.

"…How and why?" he asked.

"Well, I did some chores for Cid, like helping him out with the computer or cleaning up the garage, and he paid me for it! And I just thought you needed something like this!" Yuffie explained.

"Like what?" he questioned. Yuffie pulled her hands out from behind her back and showed Leon what she held. Lying in her hands was a small brown kitten. It was currently curled up into a ball, sleeping peacefully. Leon looked at Yuffie who was smiling.

"It's a kitten!" she whispered, careful not to wake up the tiny creature.

"I can see that." Leon stated dully. The small animal slowly awoke, blinking its light blue eyes, which (in a way) looked kind of like Leon's. It looked at the scarred man and gave a tiny 'mew'.

"I got 'im 'cause he looks kinda like you!" Yuffie said. Leon looked from the kitten to Yuffie.

"You thought I needed a cat?" he asked. Yuffie nodded.

"Well, not a cat specifically, but I thought that you needed a furry animal friend! Except you never seemed to be a dog person, rodents are creepy, you would've killed a bird, all the cold-blooded animals were too expensive, and Cloud would make a fish commit suicide." she explained, all in one breath. Leon stared at her in shock for a moment, before snapping out of it and shaking his head.

"…What?" she asked when he shook his head.

"Yuffie, I don't know if you noticed this or not, but I'm not really an animal person." Leon explained. Yuffie seemed let down by this and pouted sadly.

"Aw, but Leon! Just look at his wittle face!" she whined, holding up the little kitten to Leon's face. The cat looked at him curiously before mewing again and licking Leon face. Yuffie grinned as she pulled the cat back.

"See?! He likes you!" she exclaimed happily.

"Still, Yuffie-" Leon started, but Aerith cut him off.

"I don't know, Leon. It is a pretty cute kitten…and Yuffie already bought it…" Aerith said. Leon just sat there.

"Come on, Leon! How could you just turn him away like that?" Yuffie pushed a little further. Leon sighed.

"Fine. The cat can stay." he said. Yuffie grinned.

"Alright! You hear that, Leon Jr.? You can stay!" she said to the cat happily. Leon froze.

"Wait, what'd you call it?" he asked. Yuffie grinned sheepishly.

"Um…Leon Jr.…he already responds to that name, and he does look like you…It just kinda stuck…" she explained nervously. Leon pinched the bridge of his nose angrily.

"That's just great…Cloud's never gonna let me hear the end of this one…" he mumbled.

--

The next morning, Leon walked down the steps lazily with Leon Jr. following at his heels. He sat down at the kitchen table, at which Cloud was already seated. Once Leon had sat down, Leon Jr. somehow managed to claw his way up to Leon's head, where he promptly fell asleep again. Leon didn't even attempt to stop him.

"What's wrong, Leonhart? Cat got your tongue?" Cloud asked, snickering. Leon glared at him.

"That's not funny, Strife." he said icily. Cloud gave a look of fake concern.

"Aw, what's wrong, pussy cat?" the blond asked before breaking out laughing. Leon slammed his fist on the table.

"I'm serious, Strife! Shut up before I pound your face in!" he snarled. Cloud looked at him in amusement.

"That would probably be way more intimidating if there wasn't a sleeping kitten on your head." he pointed out. Leon glared at him.

"The cat won't leave me alone." he muttered.

"It's not supposed to. It's part of the whole 'pet' deal. Plus side, you get a friend for life. Down side, you'll never have a moment's peace again. Get used to it, Leonhart." Cloud explained, a smirk on his face. Leon groaned slightly, holding his head in his hands. The sudden shifting movement caused Leon Jr. to stir and leap off his master's head.

"If only Yuffie had gotten you a fish instead." Cloud stated, still smirking. Leon rolled his eyes.

"Oh, you would like that, wouldn't you, Strife? Never get tired of driving poor aquatic animals insane, huh?" he asked. Cloud scowled and crossed his arms.

"What's that supposed to mean?" he asked angrily.

"Don't play dumb, Strife. If a fish came in this house, you would torture until it reached the brink of its small mental sanity." Leon stated. Cloud slumped back in his seat.

"It's not my fault that fish are fun to torment! Maybe if fish weren't so freakin' stupid, I wouldn't have as much fun torturing them!" he shouted. Yuffie walked into the kitchen sleepily.

"What the heck are you two yelling about?!" she asked lazily, rubbing her eyes.

"Cloud wants a fish." Leon pointed out. Yuffie scowled slightly.

"Cloud's not getting a fish! The day right after it gets bought, it's gonna wind up 6 feet below!" she said angrily. Leon looked back at his angry blond "friend".

"True. Very true." he said. Cloud scowled and started muttering something that sounded like, 'When did I become Cloud the Fish Slayer?' Leon Jr. started rubbing up against Leon's leg. Cloud snickered.

"Aw, isn't that cute?" he said with a smirk. Leon glared at him. Somehow, the cat noticed his master's anger and hissed at Cloud, causing the blonde to laugh more.

"Wouldja look at that?! The cat's pissed off!" he said, laughing. Then, Leon Jr. jumped up and started attacking Cloud. Yuffie and Leon watched in shock and amusement as Cloud struggled to get the kitten off.

"Leonhart, call off your cat!" the blond pleaded. Leon sat there for a moment in thought, before shaking his head.

"No, no I don't think I will." he said. Cloud had finally managed to get the cat off of him and glared at Leon. His face was covered in a bunch of tiny red scratch marks.

"I hate you, Leonhart." the spiky haired man growled. He then turned to the cat, who was licking its paw innocently.

"You, too, Leonhart Jr." Cloud said, and he could have sworn he saw Leon Jr. stick his pink tongue out at him.

--

**AN**: Whoo! Go, Leon Jr.! I love that cat, even though I'm more of dog person myself.

**Next Chapter:** Leon gets flashbacks.

Leon and Cloud reminisce on when they were kids. Features Cloud the Fish Slayer, Leon the Matchbox Twenty addict, and the aforementioned Little League accident.


	10. Flashbacks

**AN**: Whoo! Check me out! Two chapters in one day! I'm awesome! We all know and love Leon and Cloud, the pair that can't decide whether to be best pals or lifelong enemies. But what about when they were kids? Find out now on a flashback chapter of "Leon Gets…"!

**Disclaimer**: I'm too poor to own anything. "Unwell" belongs to Rob Thomas and the rest of Matchbox Twenty and everything else belongs to a guy in Japan.

--

Leon Gets…Flashbacks!

The day after the accident, Yuffie had left with Leon Jr., dubbing him 'too dangerous'. Leon didn't really mind that much; he hadn't become too attached to the cat for the short time. Cloud had been all too eager to get the cat out of the house, muttering something about a demon kitten.

Speaking of which, at that moment, Cloud had walked in, looking disgruntled. His normal spiky hair was looking even more messy than usual, and, even though they had become a lighter shade of reddish-pink, the scratch marks were still visible. Leon couldn't help but snicker a little.

"What happened to you?" he asked, even though he really didn't care. Cloud glared at him.

"Your dumb cat didn't want to go out without a fight." he mumbled angrily. Leon smirked. Cloud's glare narrowed.

"This is why we should've gotten a fish. They don't go ballistic and attempt to tear people's faces off!" the blond shouted angrily. Leon crossed his arms across his chest.

"Get over it, Strife! Nobody in this house is going to buy you a fish, just so you can make it off itself!" the brunet shouted. Cloud scowled.

"Why does everyone say that?!" he asked angrily. Leon shot him a look that said 'You know why, you sadistic bastard!'

"Remember that time in the pet department when we were 7?" he asked

-FLASHBACK!-

_A young 7-year-old Squall Leonhart was searching the store for his…acquaintance Cloud Strife. Cid was waiting for them, but Cloud had somehow wandered off. Leon was now trying to find Cloud in the pet department. Glancing down the fish aisle, Leon noticed the blond boy crouching in front of a fish tank with a grin on his face._

"_There you are, Strife!" Leon shouted. Cloud looked away from the fish tank in confusion before grinning again._

"_Leonhart! Get over here! You gotta see this!" he said eagerly. Leon was confused, but nonetheless walked over to see what Cloud could find so interesting. Cloud pointed into the fish tank he was seated in front of._

"_Look!" he said with obvious excitement. Leon sat there for a minute before turning to Cloud._

"_Is that fish…__eating__ that other fish?" he asked. Cloud nodded rapidly, watching the water slowly turn red as the first fish dined on the other fish's dead corpse._

"_But I though store-bought fish only ate fish food." Leon said. Cloud shrugged lightly._

"_I dunno. All I did was tap the glass a couple times, and then, BOOM! Feeding Frenzy!" the spiky haired boy said with a grin. The boys watched the odd event happen for a little while longer in silence, with crickets from the amphibian section chirping in the background. Then Leon spoke again._

"_Should we tell someone that one of the fish went cannibalistic?" he asked. Cloud frowned and shook his head._

"_And have to stop watching the food chain in action? No way! You should probably go to the food court and buy me some popcorn though!" he said. Leon frowned. Cloud looked at him._

"_Well? What're you waitin' for?! That popcorn ain't gonna buy itself!" the blond shouted angrily. Leon groaned and got up._

"_Fine…lazy jerk…" he muttered as he stalked off toward the food court._

-END FLASHBACK!-

"Oh, yeah! I remember that! That was awesome! And the popcorn wasn't too bad either." Cloud shouted as he recalled the event. Leon scowled.

"You're sick, you realize that?" he asked. Cloud rolled his eyes.

"Don't try to act all noble, Leonhart! You thought it was awesome, too!" he said. Leon gave him an incredulous look.

"No, I didn't! You're the one with the sick fish-murdering obsession!" the brunet said angrily.

"Least I'm not obsessed with Matchbox Twenty." Cloud said. Leon scowled.

"It's not an obsession; it's a lifestyle." he said sternly. Cloud snorted.

"Oh, yeah, sure! Listening to some guy with a fucked-up life sing about his love-life issues, his abandonment issues, his drinking issues, and his insanity issues, that's a lifestyle! I envy you, Leonhart!" the blond said sarcastically.

"Don't. Mock. Rob. Thomas." Leon growled, word by word.

"Do you even remember when you started obsessing over them?" Cloud asked.

-FLASHBACK!-

_An 11-year-old Cloud Strife watched in amusement as Cid tried to get a 2-year-old Yuffie to go to sleep. He snickered lightly as he sipped his juice box._

"_Need some help?" Cloud asked the man, not even attempting to hide his amusement. Cid whipped around and glared at the boy._

"_Strife, I don't need this from you right now! Go annoy Leonhart or sumthin'!" the blond man shouted angrily. Cloud shrugged lightly before walking upstairs, juice box in hand. He knocked lightly on the door frame of Aerith's room. The 10-year-old girl looked up and smiled._

"_Yes, Cloud?" she asked sweetly._

"_Cid needs your help with Yuffie again." Cloud replied, jerking his thumb downstairs. Aerith nodded and walked past the blond boy. Cloud continued down the hall to complete his objective: Drive Leonhart Insane._

_Coming to the said boy's room, Cloud could faintly hear music coming from inside. He pushed the door open to see Leon lying on the bed, staring blankly at the ceiling. As Cloud walked closer to the bed, he heard Leon mumbling under his breath._

"…_I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell…I know right now you can't tell, but stay a while…then you'll see…different side of me…" the brunet mumbled. Cloud was starting to get a little freaked out. Leon hadn't even acknowledged his presence in the room. Leon __never__ just __let__ someone walk into his room. _

_Cloud stood by Leon's bed, who still hadn't even realized he was there. It was like Leon was stuck in a trance or was hypnotized or something along those lines. Cloud waved his hand in front of the brown-haired boy's eyes. Only then did Leon blink and cast a glance over to Cloud._

"_Hey, Leonhart. You okay?" Cloud asked. Leon stared at Cloud for a minute before shaking his head slightly._

"_What's wrong?" Cloud asked in confusion. Leon looked back up at the ceiling._

"_There are voices in my head…" he muttered dully, almost lifelessly. Cloud stood there, silent and confused._

"…_What?" he asked in confusion._

"_They won't leave me alone…" Leon whispered hoarsely. Cloud started slowly backing towards the door. Running to the top of the steps, he gripped the railing tightly._

"_Cid!" Cloud shouted urgently. Cid growled and stomped to the bottom of the stairs._

"_What's yer problem, Cloud?!" the blond man shouted angrily._

"_I-it's Leon! He's g-gone insane!" Cloud stuttered nervously. Cid looked at the boy in confusion._

"_What the hell 're you talkin' 'bout, Strife? What da ya mean, he's gone insane?" Cid growled. Cloud gulped._

"_He-he said that there are voices in his head that won't leave him alone!" the blond boy shouted. Cid had a look that said, 'I can't believe this is happening to me' on his face and he groaned._

"_I'll call a therapist…" he muttered._

-END FLASHBACK!-

"And how many sessions did you have to have with that therapist before you went back to normal?" Cloud asked with a smug grin. Leon looked at the floor.

"…Twenty-eight." he eventually mumbled. Cloud nodded.

"Exactly. Twenty-eight sessions with a therapist all because of a band. That's what I would call an obsession." he said. Leon glared at him.

"You're the one that needs therapy, Strife! You get your sick amusement from watching fish kill each other!" he shouted. Cloud growled.

"Are you calling me insane, Leonhart?!" he asked angrily.

"No, I'm calling you a sick psycho that needs to get a hobby that doesn't involve dying fish!" Leon replied. Then, they settled their argument the only way they knew how: by fighting.

5 minutes later, Yuffie and Aerith came in after coming back from the pet store. Walking into the living room, they found both Cloud and Leon unconscious, covered in bruises and blood. Aerith gasped and woke up Leon. His eyes dully opened, before he jolted up and coughed some blood into his hand.

"Leon, what happened?!" Aerith asked in concern while Yuffie woke up Cloud. Leon stared at his now blood-covered hand, before glaring at Cloud, who had just gotten up.

"I'm gonna kill him…" the brunet muttered. Cloud covered his bruised left eye, before clenching his fist angrily. Yuffie glanced between the two and frowned.

"You mean you two did this to each other?!" she shouted. Cloud pointed at Leon angrily.

"He called me a psycho!" the blond shouted. Leon grit his teeth.

"You brought up the 28 therapy sessions!" he shot back. Aerith shook her head in disappointment.

"This is Little League all over again…" she muttered sadly.

-FLASHBACK!-

_A 12-year-old Cloud sat on the bench of the ballpark, watching as Leon struck out. The blond snickered lightly before calling out to the brown-haired boy._

"_You swing like a girl, Leonhart!" Cloud shouted. The coach turned to Cloud and gave him a scolding glance._

"_Cloud, that was uncalled for! Now, go apologize!" the man shouted. Cloud looked at him in disbelief._

"_B-but, Coach Brookes-" he tried to protest, but the coach cut him off._

"_Now, Cloud." Coach Brookes said sternly. Cloud got of the bench and walked out to the field, where Leon was waiting. Cloud looked Leon in the eyes sadly._

"_Leon, I'm sorry you swing like a girl." the blond said in mock sincerity. Leon growled and gripped the bat in his hand tightly. Before the coach could scold Cloud again, Leon kicked Cloud, making the blond fall down, and hit him repeatedly with his bat._

"_Who swings like a girl now, Strife?!" Leon shouted as he continued to bring the bat down on the blond boy, who was begging for Leon to stop. Coach Brookes ran up and yanked the bat out of the angry Leon's hand._

"_Squall, what was that?!" the black haired man shouted. Leon frowned._

"_He said I swung like a girl!" he shouted in defense. Coach Brookes frowned._

"_That doesn't give you the right to pummel him with a baseball bat! Now get on the opposite bench!" he shouted. Leon frowned and sadly walked over to the other team's bench. Coach Brookes helped Cloud off the ground._

"_You alright, Cloud?" the man asked in concern. The blond slowly nodded._

"_Yeah. Yeah, I'm good." Cloud muttered, slowly picking himself off the ground. The coach gave a small smile._

"_Are you gonna be alright to pitch?" he asked. Cloud nodded eagerly._

"_Sure, coach!" the blond said happily. Coach Brookes tossed him the ball and a mitt. Cloud slipped the mitt on his hand and walked over to the mound. He wound up a pitch, but instead of tossing it towards the kid at bat, Cloud threw it at Leon, who wasn't paying attention at the moment. The ball hit Leon's head, and the boy fell backward off the bench._

"_Alright!" Cloud shouted victoriously as Leon slowly picked himself up off the ground, leaning on the bench for support. Coach Brookes face palmed._

"_Cloud, on the other bench with Squall. And if you two start anything, you're both in so much trouble." he said angrily. Cloud tossed his mitt down and walked over to the bench which Leon was at holding his head in pain._

"_Jerk…" the brunet mumbled._

"_Moron…" Cloud muttered back._

-END FLASHBACK!-

Needless to say, not much has changed between then and now. Cloud's still a fish torturer, Leon's still obsessed with Matchbox Twenty, and they both still hate each other immensely.

--

**AN**: So, there you have it. A few snippets into the past of Leon and Cloud. I loved doing this chapter. Like…a lot.

**Next Chapter**: Leon gets a job.

When Leon's running a little low on cash, he gets a job at a nearby restaurant. Only problem is, his boss is 13 years of pure evil.

R&R!!!


	11. A Job

**AN**: Okay, here we go people! This story's getting' pret-tee big, but I never coulda done it with out all my faithful readers! I love you guys! Leon plushies for all!

**Disclaimer**: I own nothing but my few OCs. _Scarred_ belongs to MTV2.

--

Leon Gets…A Job!

Leon sat in an office located in the back of the local fast-food restaurant. A few days ago, he had realized he was running short on cash. Aerith ha suggested he get a part-time job. Leon would have refused, but he wasn't about to let his wallet stay _empty_. It was a guy pride thing.

So there he was, waiting as a man-his nametag read Richard-read over his records. The blond man looked up.

"So, you haven't had any previous jobs?" Richard asked in confusion. Leon shook his head slightly.

"Well, no. Not really." he admitted. They sat in silence for a minute.

"Let me guess: I should leave with my dignity?" Leon questioned. Richard laughed slightly.

"Well, actually…that isn't my choice, Mr. Leonhart." he said. It was Leon's turn to be confused.

"Wait. You aren't the manager?" the brunet asked. Richard shook his head.

"No, I'm the Assistant Manager. The manager, Mr. Hyde, should be here any minute." he explained. As if on cue, the door opened, revealing a kid about 13 with one of the restaurant's soda cups in his hand. The boy sipped his drink before looking at Richard.

"Hey, Richard, this soda's comin' out of your pay check." he informed coolly with a smirk. Leon looked at Richard, who looked slightly disappointed at that statement, but nodded nonetheless.

"Yes, Mr. Hyde." the man said, trying to hide his sadness. Leon's eyes widened, before looking back at the black-haired kid.

"Hold on. _He's _Mr. Hyde?!" the scarred man said in disbelief. The kid scowled.

"That's right. The one and only Dustin Hyde. Son of Nathaniel Hyde, the guy who runs this joint." he replied, before looking towards Richard.

"Richard, who is this chump and what's he doin' in my office?" Dustin asked, motioning towards Leon. Leon growled a little, but kept his cool.

"Um, sir, this is Leon and he's applying for a job." Richard said nervously.

_And now I immediately regret ever making that choice._, Leon thought angrily. Dustin glanced at him and seemed to be thinking about something. Then, he started nodding.

"Well, Bill did just quit, so we could use some help around here. It would be kind of hard to handle the lunch rush with no one at the grill. Alright, he's hired." the kid said. Leon was shocked slightly.

"…You're serious?" he asked after a moment. Dustin rolled his eyes.

"No duh, moron." he muttered. Leon resisted hitting the kid.

"So, when do I start?" he asked. Dustin grabbed an apron out of the closet.

"Right now." he replied, taking another sip of his drink. Leon caught the cloth, but looked at his new boss in confusion.

"_Right _now?" the brunet asked.

"No, five minutes from now! Yes, right now!" Dustin shouted angrily. Leon grit his teeth. This kid was reminding him way too much of Cloud, except smaller and not blond.

"Could I at least call home real quick? You know, to tell them I got the job?" Leon asked. Dustin nodded in understanding.

"Alright, sure. I understand. Don't want them to worry about where you are and you need to tell them when you'll be home. No problem." he said. Leon lightened up a little. Maybe this kid wasn't so bad after all…

"Ya got two minutes." Dustin finished.

"What?!" Leon asked in disbelief. Dustin stared at his watch.

"1:58, 1:57, 1:56..." he counted lazily. Leon pulled out his cell phone and dialed the number. Yuffie picked up.

"Hellooo?" she asked, drawing out the word the way she always did when she answered the phone.

"Yeah, Yuffie? It's Leon. Listen, I got the job." Leon said.

"Hey, cool! So when do ya start?!" Yuffie asked excitedly.

"1:34!" Dustin interrupted impatiently. Leon resisted rolling his eyes.

"Right now, okay? I'll be back around 5:00." he said.

"Alrighty, then! Bye, Squall!" Yuffie chirped happily from the other end before hanging up. Leon growled at Yuffie's mistake before hanging up. Dustin was waiting, arms crossed and a scowl on his face.

"Congratulations. You managed to waste 43 precious seconds of my life." the 13 year old stated angrily. Leon opened his mouth to speak, but Dustin interrupted.

"No, don't care about your excuses. Now, come on! I'm not gonna pay you for doing nothing!" he said. Leon scowled.

_I stand corrected. This kid is worse than Cloud._, he thought bitterly.

--

Speaking of Cloud, the blond man was flipping through channels lazily when Yuffie left to answer the phone. He had finally decided on watching _Scarred_ when Yuffie came back in. She stared at the screen in disgust.

"Oh, no way are we watching this, Spike!" the young ninja shouted. Cloud nodded lazily.

"Uh, yes way." he replied. Yuffie pouted.

"But it's so _disgusting_! I mean, the way they tear up their faces like that! An-and the way they show all the blood pouring out all over the cement! That's freaky!" she protested. Cloud smirked.

"No, _that's_ good TV." he stated. His smirk turned into a grin as one of the bikers on the TV bailed on a grind and ripped his face open. Yuffie cringed as the camera got a close-up of the blood he was coughing up.

"So, who was on the phone?" Cloud asked, not the least bit affected by the gory sight. Yuffie shook her head at the blood.

"Leon. He got a job at that fast-food restaurant down the street." she mumbled, covering her eyes as the doctor sewed up the man's face with a surgical needle. Cloud grinned.

"Leon…got a _job_?" the blond asked mischievously. Yuffie nodded, her eyes still covered. Cloud set down the remote and pulled out his cell phone.

"Well…time to get 'im fired." he said casually. Yuffie looked at him in shock and confusion.

"What do you mean you're gonna get him fired?! _Why?!_" she asked. Cloud glanced at her as he dialed the number of Leon's cell phone.

"I can't torment him if he's not here! Duh!" the spiky-haired man said as if it were obvious. Yuffie was about to stop him, but Cloud leapt up from his seat as the other end started ringing. The ninja tried to snatch the phone from him, but he kept it out of her reach.

--

"_She said, "While you were sleeping,_

_I was listenin' to the radio,_

_Wonderin' what you were dreamin',_

_When it came to mind that I didn't ca-_" Leon cut off his ringtone as he as answered his cell.

"Yeah?" he answered lazily as the burgers on the grill in front of him sizzled. It wasn't the best job in the world, but it paid.

"So, Leonhart. How's hell so far?" Cloud's voice came in from the other end of the call. Leon scowled.

"I'm hanging up now, Strife." he stated before doing so. Dustin walked over angrily.

"What was that?!" the kid asked loudly. Leon looked at him.

"What?" he asked.

"I don't pay you to waste _my_ precious time talking with your buddies back home! Now, if I see in again, you can consider yourself outta here!" Dustin shouted. Leon closed his eyes.

_It's for the money, it's for the money, it's for the money…_, he repeated over and over in his head. He stiffly nodded.

--

Cloud stared at the phone in disbelief. Yuffie stopped trying to swipe it out of his hands and studied his expression. Finally, she frowned and grabbed the phone, snapping Cloud out of his trance.

"What happened?" she asked. Cloud's disbelief became anger.

"That bastard hung up on me!" he shouted angrily. Yuffie giggled a little.

"Wow, Spike. 7 seconds. A whole new record." the young girl said. Cloud scowled and crossed his arms childishly.

"Oh, like you could do any better." he growled. Yuffie looked at him in confusion.

"What?" she asked.

"You heard me. It's not like you could hold a conversation with him any longer than I did." Cloud said. Yuffie shook her head rapidly.

"No way! Nuh-uh! I'm not helping you get Squall fired! He needs this money!" she said. Cloud smirked.

"So, you're admitting defeat." he stated. Yuffie bit her lip nervously. She didn't want Leon to get in trouble at his new job because of her, but she was 'The Great Ninja Yuffie!'. And 'The Great Ninja Yuffie!' didn't admit defeat! Finally, she sighed.

"Gimme the phone." Yuffie commanded. Cloud's smirk widened and he tossed her the phone.

--

"_She said, "While you were sleeping,_

_I was listenin' to the ra_-" Leon groaned slightly as he answered his phone. Making sure his boss wasn't watching, he quickly brought it up to his ear.

"What now, Strife?!" he whispered angrily.

"Oh, don't worry, Leon! Cloud won't bother you anymore!" Yuffie said happily.

"Oh. What do you want, Yuffie?" Leon asked, still watching for Dustin.

"Uh, well…just to tell you that, I guess." Yuffie replied.

"Well, I got to-" Leon stopped when he felt his cell phone being taken out of his hand. Looking down, he saw Dustin hanging up the phone with a glare.

"What part of 'Time is money' don't you get?!" the black-haired kid shouted. Leon closed his eyes.

"I get it. I'm fired." he said.

"Whoa, whoa! I never said that!" Dustin shouted. Leon looked at his boss in confusion.

"Yeah, you did. You said if you caught me on the phone one more time, I was out of here." the brunet said. Dustin shook his head.

"I meant out of the kitchen! You've been demoted!" he shouted. Leon's brow furrowed.

"'Demoted'? To what?" he asked.

--

Cloud glanced at the stopwatch he was holding as Yuffie hung up. She turned to the blond man, who was scowling. She took that as a good sign and grinned.

"So, how'd I do?" Yuffie asked eagerly. Cloud threw the stopwatch onto the couch.

"18 seconds." he muttered in defeat.

"Whoo-hoo!" Yuffie shouted in victory as Cloud just collapsed back into his chair, angrily watching a skater break his arm in 3 three places.

--

"…You're kidding me." Leon said dully. He was being demoted to _mascot_?! Dustin gave him a glare.

"Does it look like I'm kidding?!" he asked angrily. Leon sighed.

"No…" he muttered.

"Then put on the suit!" Dustin shouted angrily. Leon glanced between his boss and the Chocobo get-up. Finally, he sighed.

"No."

Dustin stared at the man in shock, who was now glaring down at him.

"What do you mean, _no_?!" the boy shouted in disbelief. Leon angrily ripped his apron off and threw it on the ground.

"_No_. I'm _not_ doing it. This isn't worth having to be bossed around by some snot-nosed brat! I quit!" he shouted and walked out. Dustin chased after him.

"Hey, you can't quit! You're already _fired_!" the boy shouted angrily. Leon ignored him and walked back home with only one thought in his mind.

_That kid is way worse than Strife._

--

**AN**: That chapter was partially inspired by Rico from _Hannah Montana_. Yeah, I know the show sucks, but it worked for this chapter! And honorable mention to whoever can guess Leon's ringtone! (Hint: It's sung by his favorite band.)

**Next Chapter**: Leon gets cursed.

After a weird dog bites Leon, he winds up with dog ears and a tail! Now, he got to find some way to reverse the curse before the effects become permanent.

R&R!!!


	12. Cursed Part 1

**AN**: 12. 12 is a good number. I like 12. But not as much as this chapter! This one was fun to write, and I got to imagine dog-Leon! This is, without a doubt, one of my favorite chapters! And the name of Leon's ringtone: "Rest Stop" by Matchbox Twenty, my third favorite MB20 song.

**Disclaimer**: I fail at life! How could I possibly own anything?!

--

Leon Gets…Cursed! (Part 1)

The normal white clouds of Radiant Garden had turned a dark shade of gray as rain poured from the sky and thunder cracked. The storm had started during Leon's patrol and now he was stalking home angrily, soaked in rainwater. He flinched slightly as another bolt of lightning streaked across the dark sky.

"God, I hate the rain…hate it _so fuckin' much_…" Leon muttered, his brown hair stuck to his face. As he continued walking, he heard a deep growl from behind him. Leon froze and whipped around, Gunblade at the ready. Standing behind him was a large and unusually colored dog.

Its fur was mostly black, except for its paws, the tip of its tail, and the patch of fur around its right eye, which were blood red. Its yellow piercing eyes burned in anger as its tail whipped back and forth dangerously. It snarled, showing its ivory white teeth.

"Whoa, there…down, boy…" Leon said as he lowered his Gunblade slowly, trying to calm the canine down. It gave a loud bark, not affected in the least. Leon started backing away from the dog slowly, but it leapt at him. At this point, Leon tried to run. He didn't get far, however; his boot had slipped on the wet stone and he fell. He grit his teeth in pain when he felt the dog's teeth sink into his right ankle. Leon kicked the dog with his free foot and he heard the dog yelp in pain. It immediately turned tail and ran. He hissed in pain as he sat up.

"Stupid mutt…" Leon muttered to himself. He used his Gunblade to hoist himself off the ground, not even bothering to look at his wound. He slowly shifted some weight onto his right leg to see if he could walk on it, but immediately shifted back to his left leg when a jolt of pain shot up from his ankle. He gave a groan of frustration.

"Great…and there's still two more blocks until I get back to the house. This'll be fun…" Leon mumbled to himself. Using his Gunblade as a makeshift crutch, he slowly limped home. He got finally got home 15 minutes later, though it felt like 2 _long, pain-filled_ hours to Leon. He flung the door open and immediately sat down, relieving his leg from the pressure of his weight. Yuffie looked up from the TV and grinned, not noticing his wound.

"Hey, there you are, Leon! Heh, Aerith was about to send a search party out for you!" the ninja said. Leon had barely heard any of that, too busy focusing on his leg.

"Aerith, where is she?" he asked. Aerith must have heard him, because she walked in from the kitchen.

"I'm right here, Leon. What's wrong?" she had asked in her caring voice. Leon didn't even need to answer, because the second after she asked, Aerith noticed the blood dripping from Leon's pant leg onto the floor. She gasped and ran over to him.

"What happened?!" she asked in worry as she set his right leg onto the table. He winced slightly as she rolled up the blood and water soaked pant leg.

"Some crazy dog attacked me." Leon mumbled, staring at the wound. The spot where the dog's teeth pierced his skin were clearly visible and his blood mixed with the rain, making the crimson liquid more watered down. Aerith gave him a worried glance.

"It wasn't rabid or anything…just deranged…" he added. Yuffie glanced over to see the bite and whistled.

"It really got you good, Leon! Whaddja do to it?" she asked.

"Nothing. That's what _deranged _means, Yuf. To be angry for no reason. It must have had something wrong with its head at the time and attacked the closest thing to it. Unfortunately, that just happened to be me." Leon explained. He looked back to Aerith, who was trying to heal his leg using a Cure spell. She held her hand over the wound and a dull green glow came over the wound. However, it didn't do anything, as the wound continued to bleed.

"That's odd…" she mumbled to herself. She turned to Leon.

"For some reason, my magic won't heal it. We can have Merlin look at in the morning. For right now, I'll just wrap it up, okay?" Aerith informed. Leon nodded. The brown-haired woman walked out into the kitchen, but soon returned with a first-aid kit and a wet cloth in hand. She kneeled down by Leon's leg.

"Now, this may sting a little." Aerith stated. Leon gripped the armrest of his chair tightly as she wiped the blood away using the cloth and the warm water seeped into his wound. Once the bite had been cleaned, she tightly wrapped some gauze around his leg. Aerith stood up.

"Can you stand?" she asked. Leon shook his head.

"Tried that already. Hurt too much." he muttered. Aerith thought for a moment.

"I think there may a crutch in the closet. I'll go check." she said. If only they had known the trouble the wound would cause.

--

The next morning, Leon was aroused to the strong scent of freshly-made coffee. He jolted upright, thinking he had overslept and Aerith had brought up his breakfast for him or that maybe she had thought he wouldn't be able to make down the stairs own his own. However, when he did a quick scan of his room, there was no one else there but him. Glancing down to his bedside table, he noticed there was no mug of steaming black liquid. His brow furrowed in confusion.

_That's weird…I can never smell coffee from the kitchen all the way from my room…_, Leon thought. He shook his head and swung his legs over the side of the bed. He stood up, but then realized there was no quick jolt of pain from his right ankle.

"What the…" he mumbled to himself sleepily. Sitting back down onto his bed, he unraveled the gauze on his leg, only to see that the wound was gone. There was no scar or scabs left behind; it was almost as if the bite had never been there in the first place.

…_Maybe Aerith' s Cure did work after all…_, Leon thought. He stood up again and stretched, looking at the ceiling. Then, he tilted his head in confusion. The paint seemed a duller shade of white than it had last night. He shrugged it off as a drowsy morning thing and walked into the bathroom. But when he looked into the mirror, he gave a surprised yelp and stumbled backwards into the bathtub.

"Hey, Leon! You okay? I heard you shout and…" Yuffie's voice trailed off when she saw Leon lying in the tub, legs hanging over the edge limply and head lowered.

"…Leon? A-are you okay…?" she asked with a slightly worried tone, thinking maybe Leon hit his head too hard. They didn't need a repeat of the amnesia accident.

"…Help." Yuffie heard Leon mumble weakly. She grinned and grabbed Leon's arm. It took a little work, but she managed to pull him out. When she did, she gave a small gasp.

"Leon! You…you have-" Yuffie was cut off.

"I noticed." Leon said, raising his hand to the top of his head where two perked brown dog ears where. Twitching behind him was a long, brown, fluffy tail. After a moment, Yuffie started to giggle. Leon glared at her, crossing his arms.

"It's not funny!" he said angrily. She nodded a little.

"Y-yeah, it sorta is…" Yuffie said. He looked away in embarrassment.

"Can we just go tell Aerith about this?" Leon mumbled. She nodded, biting her lip to stop herself from laughing. They walked down the steps, while the smell of coffee started to overwhelm all other scents (at least to Leon). He stopped as Yuffie started walking towards the kitchen. She looked at him.

"Well? Come on!" Yuffie said. Leon shook his head stubbornly. She frowned.

"Why not?" Yuffie asked angrily.

"I'm not going in there when I'm still in my pajamas." Leon said, motioning to his clothes: a white T-shirt and a pair of light blue boxer shorts. Yuffie rolled her eyes.

"Fine! I'll bring Aerith out here! Don't see what the difference is, though…" she said, mumbling the last part as she walked into the kitchen. Aerith looked at her.

"Yuffie, what happened? I heard someone fall from upstairs." she asked. Yuffie grinned.

"Oh, Leon just fell into the bathtub! He's okay, though." the ninja said. Cloud gave a barely audible snicker. Leon growled.

"Shut up, Strife!" he shouted from the living room. Cloud had a slightly shocked look.

_How the hell did he hear me? __I__ barely heard me!_, the blond man thought.

"Um, Yuffie? Why is Leon waiting in the living room?" Aerith asked. Yuffie rubbed the back of her neck nervously.

"Yeah…about that…Leon needs to talk to you real quick…_alone_." she said, adding the last word when she noticed Cloud starting to push away from the table. The blond man gave a questioning glance.

"Oh, come on! How bad could it be?" he asked.

"Bad enough." Leon replied. Cloud rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, right. Just get out here, Leonhart." he replied.

"Don't wanna." Leon shot back childishly. Cloud scoffed slightly.

"'Don't wanna'? What are you, five?" he asked.

"Whatever! I'm still not coming out there!" Leon said angrily. Cloud pushed away from the table and grinned.

"Fine, then. I'll just hafta make you get out here!" he said. Leon's eyes widened.

"You do, and I swear…" he trailed off. Cloud crossed his arms.

"You'll what?" he asked with a raised eyebrow.

"…I'll bite." Leon stated, saying the first thing to come to mind. Cloud laughed.

"That-that's…is that the best threat you can come up with?!" he asked, clutching his sides. Leon's ears flattened angrily.

"That wasn't a threat! I'm serious!" he protested. Cloud stopped laughing.

"Serious? You're actually gonna bite me?" the spiky-haired man asked.

"If you try to make me come out there, I will." Leon said, even though he felt completely stupid for saying something like that. Cloud pondered this for a moment, before shrugging.

"Alright, fine. I'll just come out there, then." he stated. Leon was about to protest some more, but he realized no matter how many times he threatened Cloud, the blond would have to see him a some point. Even if it did mean total humiliation. He sighed.

"Fine. Get out here." Leon muttered grudgingly. Aerith walked out into the living room, followed by Yuffie and Cloud. Leon stood with his ears flattened and his tail twitching nervously. His steel-blue eyes stayed focused on the somehow dulled-brown floor, not willing to look them in the eye. Cloud started snickering, but then laughed loudly, leaning against the wall for support.

"L-Leonhart…you got…you got dog ears! And a tail!" he said, panting for breath between fits of laughter. Leon's eyes narrowed on the floor.

"No, really? I hadn't noticed, Strife." he said sarcastically. Aerith was confused.

"But…but how did this happen?" she asked.

"Um, we were kinda hoping you knew." Yuffie said. Aerith stood in confusion ad deep thought for a moment, before noticing Leon's un-bandaged and not bleeding leg.

"Leon, your leg!" she said in surprise. Leon nodded a little.

"Yeah, that freaked me out too. There's not even a scar or mark or…anything, really. It's like the bite was never there in the first place." he said. The group stood in silence.

"…Something tells me we should go see Merlin." Yuffie said after a while.

"That would help, but I kinda need to get dressed first. And something tells me that might serve as a problem, seeing as I have a tail now." Leon said.

"Well, Cloud has some old jeans he never wears." Aerith said. Cloud crossed his arms.

"Whoa, hold up! How come he's gotta wear my clothes?" he asked. Yuffie and Aerith gave him a look.

"Because, in case you haven't noticed, we're both girls. There's no way Leon would fit into our clothes!" Yuffie pointed out. Cloud gave a mischievous grin.

"We couldn't just put him in a dress?" he asked. The blond then found himself in a headlock with his arms uncomfortably held behind his back and an angry Leon sitting on him, snarling angrily. Cloud yelped in pain.

"Alright, alright! Uncle! I'll get the stupid jeans!"

--

At Merlin's house, Leon sat uncomfortably on the bed with his tail twitching lightly as Merlin looked at him in confusion. He tried not to fidget, but all this unwanted attention made him feel nervous.

"So? You know what's wrong with him?" Yuffie asked after a couple moments.

"It depends. You say you were bitten by a strange dog last night, but when you woke up this morning, the bite had vanished with out any markings?" Merlin asked Leon. He nodded.

"And I got the ears and tail." the dog-man added. Merlin seemed to nod slightly.

"I may know the problem, but to be sure, I'll need a DNA sample." the wizard said. At this statement, Cloud took the opportunity to yank one of Leon's hairs. The brunet yelped slightly and then glared at Cloud angrily. Then Cloud grinned and held the long brown hair out to Merlin.

"There you go." he said smugly. The old man took the strand of hair and inspected it with a magnifying glass. A shiny purple magic beam shot out of the magnifying glass and hit the lone strand of Leon's hair. A diagram of a DNA strand appeared on the glass. Merlin glanced it before nodding.

"It's just as I thought. Leon, you've been cursed."

--

**AN**: Ooo, cliffhanger! I would have made this chapter one big one, but it was taking forever to finish. So, I broke it into two parts. Hopefully the next chapter will be funnier!

**Next Chapter**: Leon gets cursed. (Conclusion)

To fix his DNA, Leon's got to find the jackass that cursed him. Unfortunately, Cloud's having fun with the undying obedience side effects.

R&R!!!


	13. Cursed Conclusion

**AN**: And now, for the not-so-long-awaited conclusion of "Leon Gets Cursed"! I was right; this chapter is funnier (at least that's what I think).

**Disclaimer**: I only own the nameless demon boy. If anyone cares, he's my imaginary friend and his name is Xed.

--

Leon Gets…Cursed! (Conclusion)

"…What?" Leon asked in confusion after a couple moments of silence, thinking maybe he had somehow heard wrong.

"You've been cursed. That dog was actually a animal shape-shifter demon and the bite was his way of magically combining canine DNA with your own." Merlin explained.

"Hold on, is this permanent?!" Leon asked frantically. Cloud grinned.

"Please say yes." the blond said. Yuffie smacked him on the back of his head. He cringed and rubbed his head.

"What the heck?! It was a joke!" he mumbled angrily, glaring at Yuffie. Said ninja stuck her tongue out in a taunting fashion. Merlin shook his head.

"No. Well, not yet at least. This won't become permanent until a week has passed. During that time, you'll start to notice the canine DNA taking over, as in colors dulling until you can no longer see them and heightened sense of smell and hearing." the old wizard explained. Leon stared at him in disbelief.

"I'm gonna go…colorblind? I don't wanna go colorblind. Old men like Cid go colorblind. I'm only 27!" he said. Cloud snickered.

"Wow. This whole situation must suck for you. Almost as bad as your music." he said with a grin. Leon glared at him.

"I told you to stop insulting Rob Thomas, Strife!" he snarled with his ears flattened. Cloud scoffed lightly.

"Leonhart, just admit your taste in music sucks as much as Yuffie's cooking." the blond said. Yuffie was about to protest Cloud's statement, but Leon interrupted her.

"My taste in music sucks as much as Yuffie's cooking." he said. Everyone stopped and stared at Leon. _Leon _insulted _Matchbox Twenty_?! Even he didn't seem to believe what he just said.

"Y-you actually…agree with me?" Cloud asked in disbelief. Well, _that _had never happened before. Merlin shook his head.

"It seems the obedience side effects are kicking in…" the magic old man mumbled. Cloud looked between Merlin and Leon (who was still in shock at what he had just said).

"Hold on. You mean Leonhart'll do whatever I say?" he asked. Merlin gave a slight nod of his head. Cloud grinned sadistically.

"Punch yourself in the face." the blond said, and before anyone could stop him, Leon had hit himself hard enough to make himself fall of the bed. Cloud laughed.

"Oh, this is awesome!" he said. Leon glared at him, rubbing his jaw in pain.

"What the hell, Strife?!" he asked angrily, pulling himself off the ground. Cloud smirked.

"Don't look at me. You're the one who hit yourself." he replied.

"How do we reverse it?" Yuffie asked before another fight could break out among the two.

"The only way to do that is to get the demon that did this to give you the antidote." Merlin explained.

"But you said it was a shape-shifter. How are we supposed to find someone that can change form in a blink of an eye?" Aerith asked.

"You'd have to find an animal with the small coloring pattern as the dog that bit Leon or a human with the same hair and eye color as it. That would be the same demon." Merlin explained.

"Well, what did the dog look like, Leon? Color-wise?" Yuffie asked.

"It was black and red. Blood red. With yellow eyes." Leon stated.

"That shouldn't be too hard to find. No other animals colored like that in Radiant Garden." Aerith said. Cloud crossed his arms.

"Aw, do we have to change him back? I always wanted a mindless slave that would do whatever I wanted." he asked sadly. Leon growled.

"Slave?!" he asked angrily. Cloud glared at him.

"Leonhart, shut it. The adults are talking. In fact, make yourself useful and go home and make me a ham-and-cheese sandwich." the blond commanded. Leon left Merlin's house without a word, making Cloud grin.

"Y'see?! I like this kind of power over Leonhart! Who else'll make me sandwiches like that?!" Cloud asked Yuffie and Aerith. The two glared at him and he sighed, realizing that it was a battle he couldn't win.

"Fine. We'll find the stupid demon guy and change Leonhart back." Cloud said in defeat.

--

When the got back home, Leon shoved a sandwich into Cloud's hand with an angry glare. Cloud looked at it for a moment in confusion, before realizing he had forced Leon to make him a ham-and-cheese sandwich.

"There's your stupid sandwich. Happy?" Leon snarled. Cloud took a bite before looking at him.

"Where's my soda?" the blond asked with his mouth full. Leon looked at him in confusion.

"What soda?" he asked, crossing his arms.

"My Pepsi." Cloud stated, getting angry. Leon glared at him.

"You didn't ask for a Pepsi." he growled. Cloud grit his teeth.

"Go get me a fuckin' Pepsi, Leonhart! Now!" the blond shouted. Leon growled under his breath before walking back into the kitchen, mumbling something about feeding Cloud to sharks.

"What the heck do you gotta torture Leon like that, Spike?!" Yuffie asked angrily. The blond shrugged lazily.

"It's just what I do." he replied, taking another bite of his sandwich. Leon then returned from the kitchen and shoved an unopened Pepsi can into Cloud's free hand.

"There's your goddamn Pepsi. I hope you choke." he snarled dangerously. Cloud grinned.

"I hate you, too." he said, cracking open his soda.

"Alright, now we need to make a game plan to find this demon guy. Me and Cloud'll search the town for him. When we find him, we'll drag 'im back here to change Leon back. Aerith, you make sure that Leon stays here." Yuffie said. Leon crossed his arms.

"Hey, I'm not staying here. I'm coming with you." he said stubbornly. Yuffie shook her head.

"No way. If Cloud can make you say that Matchbox Twenty sucks, then this demon guy might make you do something stupid. Something that might involve you plummeting to your death or you getting impaled repeatedly with something very pointy." she said. Leon was about to protest, but Aerith stopped him.

"Leon, no. Yuffie's right. It's too dangerous for you to try and find this demon when he could make you commit suicide." she said.

"But-" Leon tried speak, but Cloud cut him off.

"Leon, sit." the blond commanded through ham and cheese. The brunet then found himself collapsing to the floor unwillingly.

"Good. Now, stay there and don't get up unless Aerith tells you to." Cloud continued. Leon remained in that one spot, glaring at the spiky-haired man. Yuffie grinned.

"Alright, Spike! Now, come on! If we hurry, we can find this guy before noon!" the ninja exclaimed and Cloud nodded, gulping down the last bit of his soda. Then, they left with weapons in hand. Aerith glanced down at Leon, who remained seated on the floor with a scowl on his face.

"I really hate that guy…" he growled.

-2 Hours Later-

"Yuffie, I thought you say we could find this guy before noon! It's 1:30!" Cloud said to the girl next to him angrily. She just shrugged.

"I didn't think that he'd be this hard to find with hair and eyes like that, Spike!" Yuffie shot back.

"Whatever." he mumbled. They had searched almost half of Radiant Garden now, and were headed out to the Great Maw, having already searched the city.

"Where the hell could this guy be hiding?" Cloud mumbled angrily, before the scent of cigarette smoke entered his nostrils. He lowered his Buster Sword slightly.

"What the…" he mumbled slightly. Yuffie must have caught the scent to because she seemed just as confused as he was.

"Who would come all the was out here just to smoke a cigarette?" she asked. Cloud shrugged, trying to find where the smoke was coming from. He finally noticed a kid about 19 leaning up against the smooth blue stone of the Great Maw with _black and blood red hair_.

"Hey!" Cloud called out and the boy glanced up, cigarette in his mouth. His _yellow eyes _seemed to be glazed over, almost looking high. The kid pulled the cigarette out of his mouth and lightly blew out some smoke, glancing at Cloud and Yuffie with those glazed-over eyes.

"What?" the kid asked coolly, the cigarette not affecting his voice in the least. It was cold and uncaring. Cloud glared at him.

"You attacked a guy named Leon last night during the storm. He didn't appreciate it much." he said.

"Especially since he got dog ears and a tail." Yuffie added, glaring at the boy as well with her shuriken at ready. The boy nodded slightly.

"So his name's Leon, huh?" he asked, cigarette in hand.

"So you admit you bit him!" Yuffie said angrily. The kid nodded again.

"Yeah, I did. I'm guessin' you two want the antidote now?" he asked, yellow eyes questioning as his black and red hair blew in the wind. Cloud nodded firmly. The demon gave a light shrug.

"Alright." he said, pulling a vial of light blue liquid out of his pocket and tossing it to Cloud. The blond caught it, but stared at the boy questioningly.

"Just make Leon drink that and he'll be back to normal by morning." the kid explained.

"Oh…kay, but…well, you're not even gonna fight us for it?" Yuffie asked in confusion. The boy shook his head.

"Nah." he replied, taking another drag of his cigarette. Cloud and Yuffie glanced at each other, before walking back home, both weirded out by how easy that was.

"Talk about your anti-climax…" Cloud mumbled, staring at the vial in confusion.

--

**AN**: Yeah, I know: That was a really lame ending. But that's just the way it had to be. You guys were expecting a big fight scene, I gave you the exact opposite.

**Next Chapter **(Idea from Revolution Remix IX)**:** Leon gets revenge.

After he loses the ears and tail, a certain spiky blond needs to be punished.

R&R!!!


	14. Revenge

**AN**: Happy Easter (if you celebrate it, I mean)! Chapter 14 and yet another psycho genius idea from Revolution Remix IX! What can't I think of ideas like that?!

**Disclaimer**: Both Kingdom Hearts and Pokemon belong to Japanese dudes. I am a 14-year-old American girl. Obviously, I don't own anything.

--

Leon Gets…Revenge!

The next day, once the dog curse had worn off, Leon was pissed off. Like…major pissed off. And not at the nameless demon boy, but Cloud. He and Strife had always been enemies, but forcing him to say Matchbox Twenty _sucked_?! That was too far.

_Strife will pay…Strife must pay…__Nobody__ insults Matchbox Twenty like that!_, Leon thought angrily. Yes, Yuffie's cooking is _that _bad.

_But how?_, he thought. If Cloud had taken advantage of his curse, then Leon would have to take advantage of one of Cloud's flaws. Unfortunately, Cloud had no flaws for Leon to exploit. Finally, a solution came to mind.

_If Strife has no flaws that I can take advantage of, then I'll just have to give him one._, Leon though sadistically. He stood up from his bed and grabbed his Gunblade. He and Merlin needed to have a little…talk.

--

Leon pounded on Merlin's door ferociously. When the wizard finally opened the door, Leon gave him no chance to speak; he merely held his Gunblade up threateningly.

"I'm gonna get revenge on Cloud. You are gonna help me." Leon commanded. Merlin glanced between Leon's enraged eyes and the blade pointed at him before nodding and allowing the scarred man inside.

"I need something that'll humiliate Cloud. He's already burned all the blackmail anyone had on him." Leon stated. Merlin nodded slowly.

"Well…a-alright, but…can I ask why?" the wizard asked. Leon scowled.

"That bastard made me disgrace Matchbox Twenty and Rob Thomas's good name. I _need_ revenge. Help me. _Now_." he stated slowly with evident rage burning inside him.

"O-okay, then." Merlin stuttered hastily, not wanting to upset Leon, who clearly wasn't in a right state of mind. The bearded man then started searching through his things before pulling out a corked vial filled with orange-ish yellow liquid.

"This should work well enough." the wizard said, holding up the bottle carefully.

--

Once Merlin had explained the effects that the potion would have on Cloud and reminding him multiple times that the potion would only last 8 hours, Leon had planned out his revenge very carefully. Before giving Cloud the potion, Leon had prepared a cold water bottle for defense. Then, during lunch when Cloud was making a sandwich, Leon had inconspicuously slipped the potion into Cloud's Pepsi. At that moment, the blond came back into the living room, sandwich in hand.

"We're outta bread." Cloud said, sitting back down onto the couch. Leon shrugged.

"I should care…why?" the brunet asked.

"So, you can go buy more later. Duh." Cloud said as if it were obvious.

"Why do I have to buy it?" Leon asked angrily.

"'Cause Aerith and Yuffie said they're not gonna be back until tomorrow and I'm too lazy to go to the store." the blond replied. Leon glared at him and clenched his fist, but said nothing. Then, after taking a bite of his sandwich, Cloud took a gulp of his Pepsi. Leon resisted grinning sadistically. Just as Cloud was about to take another bite of his cheese sandwich, a jolt of pain shot through him. He grunted slightly, holding his head in pain. The last thing Cloud felt before passing out was a sharp pain that felt like electricity coursing through his body.

--

When Cloud finally woke up, his vision blurred as he blinked slowly. Once everything started coming back into focus, he tried sitting upright. Oddly, everything seemed bigger. Cloud held his forehead in pain, but noticed his hands were now tiny yellow paws. The blond yelped in fear.

"So you're finally up?" he heard Leon ask nonchalantly. He looked over to see the brunet lazily watching TV with a Coke in hand.

"Leon, what-" Cloud was cut off when Leon tossed a hand-held mirror in his direction. The blond looked at his reflection and screamed. The long, black tipped ears…the lightning bolt shaped tail…the mouse-like face with the tiny red cheeks…there was only one explanation.

Cloud was a Pikachu.

"What the _hell_?" Cloud cursed loudly. He glanced back at Leon, who honestly, didn't seem to care about Cloud sudden transformation. It didn't take long for Cloud to put two and two together. He clenched his tiny fists angrily.

"_You_ did this!" He shouted accusingly. Leon looked over, clearly amused by Cloud's predicament.

"You figure that one out all on your own?" the brunet asked. Cloud didn't respond; he was too angry. As his rage grew, so did the amount of electricity in his tiny body. Leon rolled his eyes. Cloud tried attacking him, but Leon pulled out the spray bottle and hit Cloud with the water inside. The water reacted with the static electricity, causing Cloud to shock himself. The tiny mouse fell to the ground in pain.

"Try anything like that again and it'll hurt a lot more." Leon threatened. Cloud's blue, beady eyes glared at Leon. He panted, pulling himself off of the ground.

"_Why_? Why'd you do this?" he asked through clenched teeth. Leon returned the glare.

"Why do you think?! You not only forced me to be your sandwich-making slave, but you made me say Matchbox Twenty _sucked_. Did you honestly think I was gonna take that lying down?" the brunet asked angrily. Cloud rolled his eyes.

"Is that what this about? Fine. I'm sorry! Now, change me back!" the mouse man demanded. Leon ignored him, taking a drink of his Coke. Cloud sighed.

"Come on, man. I'm sorry. Really. Now, could you please change me back?" he pleaded. Leon looked at him before sighing.

"Alright, fine." he said. Cloud brightened.

"Really?!" he asked hopefully. Leon scoffed.

"No, not really! Why would I do that?" the scarred man said. Cloud drooped and glared at him angrily. He considered another attempt at hurting Leon, but then remembered the spray bottle and the pain of being shocked. The man, turned Pikachu, sighed in defeat.

"Alright, already. You win. What do I need to do to get you to change me back?" Cloud asked, his lightning bolt-shaped tail twitching behind him. Leon smirked slightly.

"Say that I am, and always will be, superior to you in every way possible." he said. Cloud's eyes widened and he stared at Leon in disbelief.

"You've gotta be _kidding_ me!" the blond shouted angrily. Leon shot him a look that said, 'Do I look like I'm kidding?'. Cloud finally sighed and mumbled something under his breath. Leon raised his eyebrow.

"I'm sorry. What was that?" the brown haired man asked. Cloud growled.

"You are, and always will be, superior to me in every way possible." the Pikachu snarled with his tiny paws clenched into fists. Leon smirked and sipped his soda.

"Revenge is sweet." he said to himself.

"Now what?" Cloud asked, knowing that Leon wouldn't let him of so easy and would ask more of him.

"Say that Matchbox Twenty trumps Nickelback." Leon said. Cloud's eye twitched slightly. Deface the proud name of _Nickelback_ and slander _Chad Kroeger_?! He couldn't do that!

"Nuh-uh. No _fuckin'_ way." Cloud said, turning his back on Leon. Leon shrugged.

"Fine. I guess you want to be stuck as a Pikachu forever." the Gunblade wielder bluffed. Sure, the potion wore off in a few hours, but Cloud didn't know that. Speaking of Cloud, he immediately turned back around after Leon's statement ended. He frowned sadly, but nonetheless nodded.

"Fine. Matchbox Twenty trumps Nickelback." he muttered sourly. Leon smirked.

"Good boy. Now, get me the chips from the kitchen." he said, leaning back in his chair. He stood corrected. Revenge…was _very _sweet.

--

**AN**: Pikachu-Cloud! Oh, man, I am cruel! Okay, I just want to point out a few things here.

1) I know that in the Pokemon series, electric attacks beat water, but scientifically speaking, the water would have that effect on Cloud.

2) I'm not trying to say anything by Leon's view on music. I like Matchbox Twenty and Nickelback both equally, so don't review me saying that Nickelback pwns all or something like that. The music joke is only there for comedy purposes.

3) Did anyone notice the 'Coke vs. Pepsi' joke? I made Cloud only drink Pepsi and Leon only drink Coke on purpose. It sorta adds to the whole rival concept.

**Next Chapter:** Leon gets to act brotherly.

When Yuffie wakes up with a bad dream, the first person she goes to is Leon. The only problem is...Leon was never good with problems like that.

R&R!!!


	15. To Act Brotherly

**AN**: We've reached the 15-chapter mark! Whoo! As celebration, this chapter is slightly different. Instead of it being based on humor, this chapter will be a bit more serious and there will be slight hints of Squiffie (requested by always-kh). Sorry if you're not a fan of that pairing, but you could always just see it as brother and sister love. Enjoy!

**Disclaimer**: I have nothing! So if you sue, I'll get Phoenix Wright as my defense attorney! Take that! (I don't own PW: AA either.)

--

Leon Gets…To Act Brotherly!

Yuffie gasped slightly as she awoke in a cold sweat. Even though she was 18, she still had nightmares…especially about the day when they fled Radiant Garden 10 years ago. Yuffie shuddered slightly as she held her covers close and tried to go back to sleep. Unfortunately, whenever she closed her eyes, she would see the Heartless from her dreams closing in.

Tossing the covers off of her body, she tentatively stood up. She couldn't go back to sleep in the state of mind she was currently in! As much as she hated to admit it, she needed consoling.

But who to go to? Going to Cloud wouldn't work; he would only lock her out of his room. She could try asking Aerith, but that might bring up bad memories for the healer. The only one left was Leon.

Yuffie was hesitant. Sure, Leon had always been the big brother figure in her life, but that day 10 years ago had always been a sensitive issue with him. However, she couldn't just stay awake for the rest of the night. It was only 1:17 AM!

She slowly crept down the hall, careful not to wake anybody. Finally, once she reach the end of the hall, Yuffie pushed open Leon's door. It squeaked a little, but nothing loud enough to disturb anyone. She walked over to Leon's bedside, where the man lay in bed, sound asleep.

_Maybe this isn't such a good idea…_, Yuffie thought after a moment. She didn't know if Leon was one of those guys like Cloud that went on a tirade whenever they were woken up in the middle of the night. So Yuffie just stood there, watching the brunet sleep. Leon laid on his side, with his back to the wall, holding his pillow as if to make sure that no one stole it from him in the middle of the night. Finally, Yuffie sighed, knowing she couldn't just stand there forever. She reached out and nudged Leon's arm slightly. She got no response. Gulping slightly, she nudged him a little harder, this time with an added, "Leon…wake up."

The scarred man gave a slight mumble as he stirred. His grayish-blue eyes opened tiredly, pushing himself off of his mattress. Leon looked at her in confusion before rubbing his eyes.

"…Yuffie? What's wrong?" he asked weakly, pushing off his blanket. She looked down at her feet in embarrassment before answering.

"I…kinda had a bad dream…" Yuffie stated, fidgeting slightly. Leon sat there awkwardly. He wasn't good with this sort of thing. This was more Aerith's bag. Nonetheless, he nodded and stood up.

"…Alright. Come on." Leon said, walking out of his room. Yuffie followed quietly. Leon led her to the kitchen, where he flicked the counter light on. The dim glow from the fluorescent light lit the room as Yuffie sat down at the table without a word. She watched as Leon got out the milk from the fridge, along with a glass from the cabinet, and poured the white liquid. After he put the glass in the microwave and set it for a minute, Leon sat down across from Yuffie.

"So…what was this dream about?" he asked. Yuffie stared at the table quietly, not knowing how to bring the subject up.

"…Yuffie?" Leon asked after he got no response from the young ninja.

"Um…it was…was about _that_ day…" she said nervously. Leon looked at her in an understanding way. He should of figured the only bad dreams that Yuffie could get were about the tragedy that happened 10 years ago. They both sat silently.

"It's okay, Yuffie. That's in the past. It's over and done with." he said after a few moments, even though he was scoffing in his head. As if he could even say that. He hadn't moved on any more than Yuffie had. In fact, he probably moved on even less.

"…I know. But…the memories are still there…" Yuffie said sadly. She wasn't supposed to be acting like this. She was 'The Great Ninja Yuffie!', and 'The Great Ninja Yuffie!' wasn't supposed to show weakness. Once again, Leon and Yuffie were quiet. The silence was broken when the timer for the microwave went off. Leon stood up from the table and silenced the microwave by opening it. He sat the steaming glass of milk in front of Yuffie and she stared at it in confusion before looking back at Leon.

"Drink it. It'll help you go back to sleep." he told her. After staring at it for a few more moments, Yuffie took the glass and slowly took a sip. As she drank the warm liquid, she felt a lot more soothed and drowsy.

"Feel better?" Yuffie heard the older man ask once she had taken her last drink. She looked at Leon and nodded a little. Leon stood up, taking the glass from her, and turned on the sink. Yuffie stood up as well while Leon washed the glass out. Then, he sat it on the drainer and looked over to Yuffie, who still looked a little scared. They stood uncomfortably, neither saying a word.

Finally, Leon moved forward and wrapped his arms around Yuffie. At first, she was surprised, but then finally put her arms around his neck and held onto him tightly.

"It's alright, Yuffie. That won't happen again. We're going to make sure of that." Leon whispered to her softly. Yuffie immediately knew he was talking about having to leave Radiant Garden. She buried her face into his chest.

"Promise?" Yuffie asked, though muffled. Leon smiled softly.

"I promise."

They stayed like that for a few more moments, neither one moving. Finally, Leon felt Yuffie's body slowly go limp. He sighed, knowing she had fallen asleep. He scooped her up bridal-style and carried her back upstairs. Then, Leon laid her on her bed and pulled the covers back over her.

"'Night, Leon." he could faintly hear her mumble as he started to leave he room. The brunet looked back over to her, only to see her curled up in a deep sleep. He smiled slightly.

"'Night, Yuf."

--

**AN:** Okay, that was my first attempt at fluff. How'd I do? I realize Leon's OOC, but I already have that warning in the summary. Happy Day-After-Easter!

**Next Chapter** (idea from Yunie Tatlin)**: **Leon gets a birthday party.

Yuffie finds out Leon's birthday is coming up and decides to throw him a party. Oh, the humanity.

R&R!!!


	16. A Birthday Party

**AN**: It took forever, but chapter 16 is finally here! Did I ever tell you guys 16 is my favorite number? 'Cause it is! And before anyone says anything…yes, I am well aware Leon's birthday isn't until _August_, but this was one chapter I couldn't just put on hold for three months!

**Disclaimer**: Normally, I would have something witty to say here. However, not today! So…I don't own anything. Not Kingdom Hearts. Not Sonic the Hedgehog. Not Triple Triad (which I totally kick ass at!). Not anything. Yeah.

--

Leon Gets…A Birthday Party

The warm light of the summer sun filtered in through the windows as Yuffie awoke. She yawned loudly and glanced over at her calendar that hung on the wall. The date was circled with a red marker: August 23.

Yuffie grinned. Jumping out of bed, she dashed down the hall, not bothering to change out of her PJs. She practically ripped open Cloud's bedroom door, only to find the blond still asleep. Yuffie sighed.

_Of course. Cloud always sleeps in on Sundays._, she thought. She walked over to his bedside and mentally cringed. That was another big difference between Cloud and Leon: the way they slept. Leon was a fairly light sleeper, his breathing patterns remained normal, and his bed stayed well-kept during the night.

Cloud was the exact opposite. He slept like a freakin' _log_. He could be robbed by screaming leprechauns riding on top of a stampede of rhinos in the middle of the night, and he would sleep right through it. His snoring sounded dying grizzly bears, and a river of drool slowly dripped out of his mouth. His blankets were sprawled out over the floor and his left arm dangled off the side of his mattress limply. Yuffie fake-gagged before ripping his pillow off of his head. Cloud gave a loud, sleepy groan before recovering his head with his arms.

"Wake up, Spike!" Yuffie shouted angrily. Cloud only mumbled something before waving her off and rolling onto his side. Yuffie sighed.

"I didn't want to have to do this…" she said before holding the pillow above her head. She then proceeded to pummel Cloud mercilessly with his own pillow. The blond shouted angrily before rolling off the edge of his mattress.

"…Oww…" Cloud mumbled in pain before sitting up. His normal sapphire eyes were dulled and bloodshot and his spiky hair was even sloppier. He managed a small glare toward Yuffie.

"Wha tha hell?!" he slurred angrily. Cloud's speech was never too good right after awakening.

"Cloud, do you know what today is?" Yuffie asked. Cloud scowled.

"Yeah, Sunday! I sleep _in _on Sundays!" he shouted angrily. Yuffie rolled her eyes.

"Not just Sunday! Leon's birthday's today!" the ninja shouted. Cloud stared at her angrily.

"You woke me up…on a _Sunday_, no less…just to tell me that?!" he shouted. Yuffie groaned.

"Is that all you can think about?! And besides, not only that! _You_ are gonna help _me_ throw _Leon_ a birthday party!" she explained. Cloud stared at her dully.

"Yuffie, where have you been the past 21 years? I _hate _the guy! Why would _I_ help you do that?!" he asked, crossing his arms angrily. Yuffie glared at him.

"Because you're being threatened." she stated. Before he even had a chance to question her, Yuffie grabbed a fistful of his blond hair and pulled hard. Cloud yelped in pain.

"Ah, hair! Hair! Okay! Alright, I'll help! Get off!" he pleaded. Yuffie grinned victoriously and released her grip on Cloud's hair. He rubbed his scalp in pain and glared at her.

"…That hurt." he complained. Yuffie rolled her eyes.

"Well, duh. If it hadn't, you never would've agreed to help me. That's the 'threat'. If you refuse again, I'll pull harder next time." she said matter-of-factly. She was cheering on the inside. If there was one thing in the entire world that meant the most to Cloud, it was his hair. The blond scowled, but nodded grudgingly.

"…Fine."

--

By the time both Cloud and Yuffie came downstairs, Leon and Aerith were already in the kitchen. No matter what the day, those two always had the habit of waking up early. Yuffie grinned.

"Mornin', guys!" she said happily. Aerith looked over and smiled sweetly.

"Good morning, you two." she said, setting down some plates onto the table. Cloud mumbled something sleepily; either 'Yeah, whatever…' or 'It's too goddamn early to be up on a Sunday…'. Yuffie rolled her eyes at the blond, who had taken at seat at the table, before slamming his head down and promptly falling asleep again. The ninja then turned to Leon, who never acknowledged her presence, even though she made it very clear that she was in the room. She grinned mischievously and wrapped her arms around his neck from behind.

"Mornin', birthday boy!" Yuffie said. Leon sighed slightly.

"Yuffie, get off." the brunet man said. She frowned disappointedly, but nonetheless, complied.

"Aw, come on, Leon! Cheer up a little! It's your birthday, for cryin' out loud!" Yuffie exclaimed.

"That doesn't change the fact that I don't like being touched." Leon muttered. Yuffie sat down at the table.

"Yeah, well, you better loosen up today." she said. Leon cocked an eyebrow at her statement.

"And why exactly is that?" he asked. Yuffie gave one of her trademark grins.

"'Cause me and Cloud are throwing you a party!" Yuffie said happily. She looked over to said blond, only to find him drooling and snoring like crazy again. She glared angrily before kicking him. Cloud yelped and jolted upright.

"What the hell, Yuffie?! Five more minutes!" he pleaded. Yuffie crossed her arms and gave him a look that said 'Do you want me to pull your hair again?'. Cloud gave a small whine and was about to protest, but Leon interrupted him.

"No." he mumbled. Yuffie looked at him in confusion.

"'No'? Whaddaya mean, 'no'?" she asked, tilting her head to the side. Leon crossed his arms stubbornly.

"No as in, 'No I don't want a party.'" the brunet said. Yuffie shook her head rapidly.

"Oh, nuh-uh! This is not gonna be like the last five years! We're doing something interesting this year!" the young ninja shouted.

"She's right, y'know, Leonhart. The most interesting thing we did last year for your birthday was have a 'Sonic: Mega Collection+' tournament on the PS2." Cloud pointed out lazily.

"Which I kicked your ass at." Leon said with a smirk. Cloud glared at him.

"It was six to seven! I coulda won, but that stupid sea dragon in 'Sonic Spinball' hated me!" the blond shouted angrily.

"Whatever. I still kicked your ass." Leon muttered.

"Okay, getting off topic here! The point is that you're getting a party, even if I have to tie you down to chair and make you celebrate! And you should know how well I tie knots." Yuffie shouted angrily. Leon tenderly rubbed his wrists, which stung from the memory of the last time Yuffie tried tying him up. It took him hours to get untied and he got a serious case of rope burn.

"Alright, fine. But you're staying away from any and all rope." Leon said sternly. Yuffie grinned.

"Yes! Okay, Spike, let's get going! And…wipe off your face. You still got a little dried drool on your lip." she said. Cloud looked at her in confusion before touching his mouth.

"Aw, man! It _is_ dried drool!"

--

Yuffie sat in the attic with her legs crossed, in deep thought. Sure, she had gotten the idea for the party, but it never occurred to her that she had nothing to give Leon. So, here she was. In the attic, trying to think of something for Leon while Aerith and Cloud set up the party in the living room.

Yuffie liked the attic. Yeah, it was a little dusty, but it was also quiet, so she could always come up here to think in peace. And she could always use the boxes of junk to hide behind in case someone like Cloud was looking for her.

"Well, let's see…I have no money, so it'll have to be something hand-made or something I already have…I never was any good at arts and crafts, so hand-made: definitely out of the question. That means I have to give him something I already have. But what? I don't have anything that Squall would be interested in…" Yuffie mumbled to herself. She sighed heavily and leaned on a small cardboard box to her right. She looked down at it and her eyes widened.

Written on the side of the box using black permanent ink were the words 'Property of Squall Leonhart: Do Not Touch.' The handwriting was shoddy, nothing like Leon's handwriting today. Which meant this was his from when he was younger.

"Maybe he doesn't know this is up here…" Yuffie muttered to herself. Wiping some dust off the top and slowly pulling back the top flaps, she grinned at what was inside.

"Jackpot!"

--

After dinner and Cloud's foiled attempts to get cake in Leon's hair (he ended up in a half-nelson for trying), Leon sat in the living room with his arms crossed. Yuffie had actually managed to convince him to wear a party hat and he was playing with the string absent-mindedly.

"Alright, Yuf. We celebrated. Are you happy now?" he asked angrily. Yuffie nodded a little.

"Yep! It was way better than last year! And you and Cloud didn't have a single competition all day!" she said with a grin. Cloud scowled, rubbing his neck in pain from the half nelson.

"Although he did put me in a wrestling hold…" the blond muttered angrily. Yuffie glared at him.

"Get over it, Spike! And didn't you say you had something for Leon?" the ninja asked. Cloud thought for a minute, before nodding.

"Oh, right…" he mumbled, pulling something out of his pocket. Then, he tossed carelessly with a flick of his wrist. Leon caught it, but looked at it in confusion.

"A credit card?" he asked before flipping it over. Then, the brunet scowled.

"Strife, this is _my _credit card!" he growled, pointing to the name written on the back of the piece of plastic. Cloud nodded.

"Yeah, I stole it two weeks ago to buy more hair gel. But then…I forgot to sneak it back into your room. So, happy birthday, Leonhart." the blond explained. Leon glared at him.

"I hate you." he muttered.

"Yes, so I've been told." Cloud mumbled back.

"Well, anyway, I got you something, too!" Yuffie said, putting the small box onto the table. Leon looked at it for a minute before turning back to Yuffie.

"You got me a cardboard box?" he asked slowly. Yuffie rolled her eyes before turning the box slightly, so he could see the writing on the side. Leon's eyes slowly widened.

"No way…" he whispered, before opening the top. Sure enough, inside the box was one of Leon's most prized possessions: his Triple Triad decks. All of the cards he had thought he had lost forever now laid in the box sitting in front of him: Bahumut, Ifrit, Cerberus, Quetzalcoatl…

"Dude, are those your old Triple Triad cards?!" Cloud exclaimed in shock. Leon hadn't been the only one who thought he had seen the last of those cards a long time ago. Leon nodded dully.

"Damn…" the blond muttered.

"…Wanna play?"

Cloud looked up at the brunet with a questioning glance, before smirking.

"Alright. This'll make up for the Sonic tournament loss."

"Not if I kick your ass."

Yuffie sighed. She had spoken too soon. None of Leon's birthdays would be complete with Leon and Cloud having a competition in some way.

--

**AN**: Before any questions come up: Yes, Triple Triad is the card mini-game from Final Fantasy VIII. I just love it so much. Speaking of questions…

**Next Chapter:** Leon gets to answer fanmail!

Leon and the rest of the cast of "Leon Gets…" answers questions sent in by YOU, the readers!

Yep, you heard right! To get the next chapter up, you guys are gonna have to send in some questions. A couple of things I want to point out:

1) There is absolutely NO limit on questions! In fact, I would very much like you to send in long reviews. It makes the chapter longer!

2) Notice how I said cast. You can ask anybody (and I mean ANYBODY) who ever appeared in "Leon Gets…" a question! And (because I'm nice), you can ask me questions too if you want!

3) Keep the questions at a teen rating. I don't want to have to up my rating.

That's about it! Send in those questions!


	17. To Answer Fanmail Part 1

**AN:** Chapter 17! I was doing a little thinking and decided that one fanmail chapter wasn't enough. Soooo…we'll be doing _3_! Whoo! Let's get to those questions!

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing but me and my OCs. So, hah!

--

Leon Gets…To Answer Fanmail (Part 1)

"Yo, what's up, guys! Welcome to the first fanmail chapter of "Leon Gets…"! Me and the cast are here in…my room/basement! You guys sent in some awesome questions, so let's get started!" the authoress, Katy (AKA me!).

"_First question from always-kh:_

_i liked this chapter too. so funny yuffie waking cloud up and threatening himand then leon's gifts. but i don't have any questions really. there was at least the possible slightest hint of squiffie there! yay!how abt a question for leon? ...like 'how fast can you run?' no i stole thatfrom a movie darn it uhhm something involving him getting chased by fangirlswould be funny though. 'cause fangirls are scary. =D_

"Alright, Leon. How fast do you run?" Katy asked. Leon shrugged.

"I dunno. I don't usually keep track of those things." he replied. Katy frowned slightly before glancing back at the review and grinning.

"Wait a sec! I got an idea!" she shouted, pulling out her cell phone. She dialed a number and held the phone up to her ear.

"…Hey, April! It's me, Katy!…Yeah, well you know how you're obsessed with Squall?" Katy said. Leon crossed his arms.

"What?" he asked, but Katy ignored him.

"…Oh, so you're not?…So, you wouldn't care if I told you he was standing right next to me?…April?…April?…You couldn't of at least hung up first?!" she shouted into the phone before hanging up angrily.

"She'll be here in about-" Katy was interrupted by the sound of knocking.

"Now." she finished.

"Who is that?" Yuffie asked.

"That would be April. We should probably go out the back door." Katy mumbled, taking Leon's hand and leading him to the back door. They stopped in the street.

"Hey, April!" she called out. The blonde girl turned around.

"This is the part where you run like hell." Katy whispered to Leon. The brunet glanced between Katy and April before taking off, with April following close behind. Katy just watched as the two ran off and waved.

"Bye, you two! And there's your answer, always-kh! Leon runs pretty damn fast, especially when under the threat of fangirls!" she said, before walking back into the house.

"What happened to Leon?" Aerith asked in confusion.

"Running for his life from a rabid fan girl that want nothing more than to tackle/glomp him." Katy explained as if it were no big deal. Cloud snickered slightly.

"You're just lucky I don't know any of your fan girls, Cloud. I could find some though." she added. Cloud immediately shut up. There was the sound of a slamming door and Leon walked down the steps, covered in sweat and dirt and gasping for air.

"What the hell happened ta _you_?" Cid asked. Leon caught his breath before speaking.

"She tackled me into a bush…" he mumbled, wiping some sweat off of his forehead. Katy grinned slightly.

"That's April for ya!" she said.

"Your friends scare me." Leon mumbled. Katy scoffed.

"That was only one of my friends. Just wait until you meet Brianna or Corey." she said, crossing her arms.

"I don't think I want to." Leon said uncomfortably.

"Yeah, you don't. But, back to business! always-kh sent in a question via PM as well:

_ehhh sorry i can't think of any ermm nope still nothing well maybe why cloudand leon still haven't actually killed each other yet._

"Alright, guys?" Katy asked, turning to the two men.

"Well, if we killed each other, then we couldn't torture each other anymore. And where's the fun in that?" Cloud explained. Leon nodded slightly.

"Right. Torture is like slow death, and it's so much more satisfying than an instant kill." he said. Katy started to inch away slightly.

"Yeah, you guys scare me now. So I'm just gonna stay over here. With protection." she said, grabbing onto the demon kid's sleeve. He growled and ripped his arm away.

"Well, next question, from Carbuncle Eyes:

_Ah, when I was reading this fic, I just couldn't stop laughing! My familythought I had lost my mind..again... Anyway, a question for Leon or thecast... OH I KNOW! What are Leon's measurements XD Joking...or ami I? XDThanks for the laugh, and I can't wait untill you update this again!_

Leon stood there for a moment in shock, still trying to process what the review said, desperately hoping he had read wrong. Finally he realized he wasn't going insane and that was what the review said.

"Why the _hell_ would I tell you something like that?!" he asked after a moment.

"Yeah, I don't think Leon's gonna answer this one. Sorry 'bout that." Katy said.

"Though, I'm sure the entire reading world is interested in that." Yuffie said sarcastically.

"Whatever. Next question, from Yunie Tatlin:

_Leon's Questions_

_1: How do you feel about Leon Gets?_

_2: Did you know Cloud often steals your spot light?_

_3: Do you miss your cat?_

_4: When did this hate between you and Cloud start?_

_Cloud's Questions_

_1: Do you know that you're my favourite in this fic?_

_2: When did this hate between you and Leon start?_

_3: Why didn't you take full advantage over Leon's puppy moment?_

_4: What's your favourite color?_

_5: Do you want a pet fish?_

_Yuffie's Questions._

_1: What's it like living with bone heads?_

_2: This isn't a question but you rock in this fic!_

_Demon Kid's questions._

_1: Why bite Leon of all people._

_2: What's your name?_

_3: Why give the anidote?_

_4: Will you ever show up again?_

_Areith's Questions_

_1: Why don't you show up more in this fic?_

_Cid's questions._

_1: Did you show up in this fic? If so, what did you do and what chapter?_

_Merlin's questions._

_1: Leon can be very scary right?_

_2: What's up with the pikachu potion?_

_WAH! That's all I can think of! If I think of more I'll find a way to askthem!_

"Wow. Long one. Well, I guess Leon's first." Katy said. Leon shrugged.

"Eh, it's okay, I guess… It'd be a lot better if I got hurt less." he muttered.

"Aw, come on, Leon! The 'you getting hurt' is half the funny!" Katy said.

"Whatever… Yes, I'm well aware of that fact. I don't really care that much about Cloud." Leon said. Cloud scowled and flipped him off.

"Huh? The cat? Not really…never really liked it all that much, truthfully." Leon admitted.

"One of the few things we can actually agree on…" Cloud muttered.

"Well, let's see…I think it was during the beginning of 1st grade, so I'd say we were about 6 when the hate actually started. It was lunchtime and Strife _stole_ my sandwich. And then lied about it! So, it kind of grew from that point on, until it became a full-blown rivalry during middle school and continued on through our high school years." Leon explained. Katy stared at him in disbelief.

"That long…" she muttered, more of a statement than a question.

"That long." Leon stated.

"Wow. Cloud, your turn." Katy said to the blond.

"Well, yeah, I kinda figured. I mean, come on! I'm awesome, I got cool hair, I can fight…" The blond trailed off.

"You forgot modest." Leon muttered angrily.

"Well, like Leonhart said, it was during 1st grade at lunchtime. And I admit to stealing his sandwich and then lying about it, but come on! You're not gonna steal something, and then just _admit_ that you stole it! That's stupid! So, then Leonhart pushes me on the ground and _pours_ his freakin' soda on my head! Do you know how long it took me it get the stickiness out of my hair?! A long time!" Cloud shouted angrily.

"Alright, I think we get the story of how the hate started. Moving on." Katy muttered.

"'Cause I knew Yuffie would've slit my throat if I kept torturing Leonhart during 'his time of weakness'." Cloud said, putting air quotes around 'his time of weakness'.

"Spike, you were just being plain unfair! You know Leon couldn't deny whatever you told him to do!" Yuffie shouted angrily. Cloud shrugged.

"Yeah, sure… Favorite color…let's see…red, probably." Cloud said, after a moment of thought.

"And let me guess…Leon's favorite color is blue?" Katy asked.

"Navy, actually…but close enough." Leon said.

"Hell yes! But Yuffie won't let me get one…" Cloud said.

"That's because the only reason you want it is to kill it." Leon pointed out. Cloud shrugged.

"So? I'm embracing my spot at the top of the food chain." he said, crossing his arms.

"Yuffie?" Katy asked.

"Eh, you get used the stupidity after a while." the ninja said, shooting an accusing glance at Cloud and Leon. They both turned away uncomfortably.

"Hey, thanks! You rock, too!" she said with a grin. Katy grinned and nudged the demon boy slightly.

"Hey, Demon Kid. Your turn." she said. The older boy glared at her.

"I told you to stop calling me that." he muttered. Katy shrugged.

"Whatever, just answer the questions." she said.

"I…don't really know. I mean, I had a lot of stuff on my mind, I needed to clear my head, Leon walked by, and I found a distraction. Nothing personal or anything." he said with a shrug of his shoulders.

"That's cold. Can't even think of a good reason. Shame on you, Demon Kid." Katy said, shaking her head in mock disappointment. The demon directed a glare at her, but said nothing.

"Name's Xed. Just Xed. Not Demon Kid. Just a word of advice, I hate being called Demon Kid. As Katy well knows." he said, growling the last part. Katy held up her hands in defense.

"Okay, I'll stop calling you Demon Kid! Chill out, Xeddy!" she said. Xed stared at her.

"'Xedd-'…you know, I'm not even gonna ask. 'Cause I really didn't feel like fighting. I felt like smoking. So, I did the smart think and avoided a fight." he explained.

"Oh. And here me and Cloud thought you were some sorta chicken." Yuffie said lamely. Xed face-palmed.

"All the self-respect I ever had just went out the window." he mumbled to himself.

"Aw, come on, Xed! One more question and you're done!" Katy said.

"Most likely. Katy still wants me to give my life's story." Xed said, pointing to the younger girl at his side.

"Um…Aerith?" Katy asked, shifting away from Xed.

_I don't even feel comfortable in my own room anymore…_, she thought.

"I'm not sure…" Aerith said.

"Uh, I can answer that one. Y'see, I'm not that good at writing Aerith's character. It's just…difficult for me. I'm more of a loud, obnoxious humor kinda writer. Kinda like Bam Margera, except in writer form! But when it comes to Aerith's character, my brain goes on shut down and I have to force myself to write. It feels like pushing a car through mud, but that's just 'cause I'm kinda slow." Katy explained.

"Of course she had to mention Bam Margera somewhere in this chapter." Xed muttered.

"Cid's turn." Katy said.

"Yeah, I been in the story! If I wasn't, ya wouldn't be asking me this question! I was in chapters 7 and 10!" Cid said angrily.

"Is Cid really that unnoticeable?" Katy asked. Yuffie shrugged.

"Apparently so." she said.

"Oh, well. Last questions of the chapter, for Merlin." Katy said.

"Well, he is rather intimidating…" the wizard admitted.

"Especially since he's got a badass scar and a sword mixed with a gun." Katy cut in with a grin.

"It was in case of emergencies. You never know when you need to turn someone into a Pikachu." Merlin explained.

"Well, that's all the questions for now! But luckily, we'll be taking two more chapters' worth of questions! So, if you got anything else to ask, send 'em in! See ya next time!"

--

**AN**: So there's the first fanmail chapter! Thanks for the questions, and be sure to send more in! And I can be asked questions, too! Just pointing that out.

**Next Chapter:** More fanmail answering!

R&R!!!


	18. To Answer Fanmail Part 2

**AN**: I'M BAAAAACK!!!! Okay, it's been a while, but I'm back now with more questions! Apparently my distress call worked! But enough of that! Let's answer some questions!

**Disclaimer**: I own nothing but Cloud! …What?! I do! See?! *holds up a plush chick* This is Cloud! What, you've never seen a plush Chocobo before?

--

Leon Gets…To Answer Fanmail (Part 2)

"Yo! What's up, guys! We're back, and with more questions!" Katy said with a grin.

"Yippee…" Xed muttered unenthusiastically. Katy glared at him.

"Stop being sarcastic!" she shouted angrily. Xed shrugged lightly.

"Whatever. First question from _Carbuncle Eyes_:

_Ah, my God, that was freakin AWESOME! I'm sure the look on Leon's face was priceless. Anyway, I have a serious question now! What's their favorite candy? Srry that's all I could think of. And besides I really want to know! Thanx for updating!_

"Alright, lemme guess. One of you likes Hershey, and the other one likes Nestlé." Katy said to Leon and Cloud. Cloud shook his head.

"Actually, we both agree that Hershey kicks Nestlé's ass." the spiky blond said. Katy stared at them in shock.

"You actually…_agree_ on something?!" she asked in disbelief. Leon crossed his arms.

"Does Nestlé have a city named after it? Does Nestlé have an entire theme park in its honor? Do you ever see 'Made with real Nestlé chocolate' on cereal boxes? I don't think so." he stated.

"He's got a point there." Yuffie pointed out.

"Yeah, whatever. So does anyone have any arguments on the fact that Hershey is better than Nestlé?" Katy asked. Nobody said anything and she shrugged.

"Then I guess we all agree that Hershey is the kick-ass chocolate company of the year. Next question, from _always-kh_:

_is Leon Jr still around? and to leon: how'd you get your fear of needles?_

"Well, not at the moment, but if you want, I could get him for next chapter." Katy said. Cloud started panicking.

"No! No, they don't want! That demon-cat is not coming anywhere near me!" the blond shouted. Katy rolled her eyes.

"Would you get over it? The cat's coming, and that's final." she said. Cloud crossed his arms.

"Then I'm moving to Alaska." he said.

"Whatever. No one really cares. Leon, answer the question." Katy said.

"When I was 10, they had a trainee nurse take my blood…an-and she…fainted with the needle…st-still in my arm…and I _really_ don't like talking about it…" Leon muttered shakily, holding his arm tightly.

"We should probably drop this subject." Aerith said. Katy nodded.

"Yeah, we don't want him to go into the fetal position or anything. Next question, from _Yunie Tatlin_:

_Omgh!_

_I am so sorry everyone!_

_Okay lets get this started!_

_Leon questions!_

_Why can't you be cooler?_

_Can I call you squigle? Squallers? Squally-Wally?_

_...um... RAWR!_

_Man, can I play with your gunblade?_

_Cloud!_

_Yeah, no talking about how awesome you are... I REALLY DO LOVE YOUR HAIR THOUGH!_

_Coke is better than pepsi... __._

_Can I play with your buster sword?_

_how'd you mess your sword up so bad anyway!? You should treat it better!_

_Oh yeah, one more thing! I got you a gift. If you can guess what it is it'sall yours! If you can't, you suck and I kill you with a bloody axe!_

_Yuffie!_

_Okay, really, you kick butt. Why don't you team up with the gulwings? Imean you both love treasure!_

_Aeirth!_

_Get drunk so we can see you more!_

_Cid!_

_Yes, you are that unnoticedable!__ Geez, be more interesting!_

_Merlin!_

_Did you know people say bad things about you? They really do..._

_Xed!_

_Sorry for callin' ya demon kid. Forgive me? Can I have a hug? Do you know how awesome you are?_

_Katy!_

_Is it okay that I call you Katy? Is it?_

_Anyway, why start Leon gets?_

_Did you like my B-day idea? I did! Heehee..._

_Omgh! Can you try and get Leon and Cloud to hug? That would be awesome!Heehee..._

_~Well that's all for now. I'm sure I could think of more if needed. Onceagain sorry for being late... internet troubles._

"Another long one. She really likes sending you guys a lot of questions. Well, go on, Leon." Katy commented.

"Well, excuse me for not being Pretty Boy over here." Leon muttered, pointing at Cloud. Cloud growled.

"That's Mr. Pretty Boy to you." the blond said.

"Hey, it's okay, Leon! I think you're cool!" Katy said with a grin.

"You also think Bam Margera's cool." Xed pointed out. Katy glared at the demon angrily.

"And what's wrong with Bam Margera?!" she asked.

"He jumped off a bridge." the demon said. Katy shrugged.

"So?! He _survived_, didn't he?! Anyway, keep going, Leon." she said.

"Okay, no, no, and…maybe." Leon said.

"Why 'maybe' for the last one?" Katy asked.

"'Cause Yuffie already calls me that." he said.

"My friend Brianna called me Squally once. No idea why, though." Katy said.

"Oh…kay…It depends. Are you certified? I need to see some ID before I can let you use it." Leon said.

"Dude, you're totally making that up." Cloud said. Leon glared at him.

"Shut up." he growled.

"Alright, Cloud, just answer the questions before a brawl breaks out." Katy said.

"Of course, you do. Everybody loves my hair." Cloud said, doing that hair flippy thing he did in KH1 when Sora offered to fight him without dark powers and he was all like, 'I think I'll pass.'. (You guys know what I'm talking about, right?)

"I personally think your hair's overrated. I liked my brother's better. It was curly, but at the same time…not curly. It was awesome hair." Katy said with a grin. Cloud scowled.

"No one asked you, Katy. Shut up." he said. Katy stuck her tongue out childishly.

"It is not! Coke is made with drugs!" Cloud said.

"_Used_ to be made with drugs! It's not anymore!" Leon protested.

"No. My sword. I need my sword. And I didn't mess it up on purpose! It was an accident! Besides, I was only sixteen when it happened. Could of happened to anyone!" Cloud said in defense.

"It didn't happen to Leon." Yuffie pointed out. Cloud scowled.

"Yeah, well, Leon almost didn't graduate middle school." the spiky blond said angrily.

"What does that have to do with _anything_?!" Leon asked. Cloud shrugged.

"Absolutely nothing." he said.

"Okay, whatever. Answer the last question." Katy said. Cloud grinned.

"Is it a fish?" he asked hopefully.

"Oh, God. Yuffie, just…just go." Katy said.

_These guys are gonna drive me insaner._, she thought.

"Yep, that's why I'm 'The Great Ninja Yuffie!'. 'Cause 'The Great Ninja Yuffie!' works alone! And those guys stole my ice cream!" Yuffie said.

"Yuffie holds grudges a _long_ time." Cloud said.

"Alright, next." Katy muttered.

"…What?" Aerith asked slowly. Katy grinned mischievously.

"Oh, I am _so _writing that down!" she said, grabbing a notepad and a pencil. Just as she started writing Cloud glared at her.

"No, you are not!" he shouted angrily. Katy looked at him in confusion before snickering a little.

"Is Cloud getting…_protective_?" she asked in amusement. Cloud's eyes widened a little as he blushed slightly.

"N-no!" he protested. Yuffie grinned as well.

"You are, too! Look it; you're blushin'!" she said. Cloud growled angrily.

"Would you shut up?! I am not! Cid, just answer the stupid question!" the blond shouted, trying to cover his face. Katy glared at him.

"Hey! I tell people to answer their question! Cid, answer the stupid question." she said, crossing her arms.

"Hey, I _am_ int'restin'!" Cid shouted. Katy put a hand on his shoulder.

"Yeah, we know you are, Cid! For what it's worth, I think you're _way_ cooler than my grandpa! Or my dad, for that matter! I'd rather have you for a grandpa any day!" she said enthusiastically. Cid looked at her in confusion.

"Yer grandpa that bad?" he asked. Katy nodded rapidly.

"Heck, yeah, he is! But I digress. Moving on." she said. Merlin hung his head a little.

"Yes, I know…" he mumbled sadly. Katy scowled.

"No one appreciates good Disney anymore. It's all been ruined by…_High School Musical _and…_Hannah Montana_… Damn them." Katy muttered angrily.

"Okay, moving along…Okay, I never really held it against you that much in the first place… Uh, no thanks. I really don't _do_ hugs. You barely even know me. How would you know if I'm awesome or not?" Xed asked. Katy rolled her eyes a little.

"Hey, sorry about that. Xed has _really_ low self-esteem. Okay, my turn. Course you can call me that! It _is_ my name, after all. Well, I was bored, and Leon's awesome, and I had nothing else to do. Oh, and the fact Leon reminds me of my brother _way_ too much for it to be normal!" Katy explained. Leon crossed his arms.

"Really?" he asked. Katy nodded.

"Same hair color, same eye color, not much of a talker…pretty much the same. Now…yeah! That idea was awesome! And it kept my from writing '**Next Chapter:** …Pancakes?'. Hmm…hold on." she said, before turning to Leon and Cloud.

"You two. Hug. Now." Katy commanded. The stared at her oddly.

"…You're joking, right?" Leon asked.

"I'm not huggin' him." Cloud said, turning away a little. Katy glared at the two older men.

"Alright, Leon. I could give Yuffie rope, let her tie you up, and then just leave you in the back of my dad's truck. And Cloud, I could steal my uncle's razor and shave you bald. So, hug." she said, crossing her arms sternly. Leon and Cloud glanced at each other slightly before sighing.

"Fine." they muttered grudgingly, before giving each other a _little_ hug and breaking apart instantly.

"Happy?" Cloud growled. Katy shrugged.

"Not really, but it'll have to do." she said.

"Next question, from _Revolution Remix IX_:

_You didn't have to beg, I just forgot to ask you a few questions before Iturned off my computer. ^^; I forget things alot.... ^w^ OH! And I'm fine withthe co-writers idea, just send me a pm when you want to do one, kay? Okay so here are my questions for "Leon Gets..."_

_Leon:_

_1. I don't know if you noticed or not, but many writers have placed you andCloud together as a pairing. What are your feelings on that?_

_2. If you could be any animal, (Other than a dog obviously!XD) what would you be?_

_3. If Cloud hadn't stolen your sandwich and then lied about it when you guys where kids, would you guys be friends? _

_Cloud:_

_1. I don't know if you noticed or not, but many writers have placed you andLeon together as a pairing. What are your feelings on that?_

_2. I have the same obession with torturing fish too Cloud! It's not really aquestion, just thought I'd share that...^^; _

_3. If you hadn't stolen Leon's sandwich, then lied about (Resulting in yougetting soda in your hair), when you guys where kids, would you guys befriends?_

_4. I'm sorry you get tortured all the time. I feel your pain. _

_Yuffie:_

_1. Is your cooking really that bad, or are the guys just playing?_

_2. When you were younger, did you have a thumb sucking problem? (That was really random...)_

_3. How many times a day do you think Cloud and Leon argue?_

_Katy:_

_1. Why do you not like yaio?_

_2. I love Bam Margera too! I was totally upset with Bam's Unholy Union. _

_3. Why don't you like vampires?_

_4. Whoa, I realized that I forgot to ask questions about the fic! ^^; Okaynext one will be about it._

_5. How do you think you are going to end the fic? (I know, really morbidquestion, but answer anyway please!)_

_6. If you could take 4 characters out of either KH1 or KH2, who would youtake?_

_7. How long is the fanmail going to last? I think I got another idea..._

_Thanks for answering my questions!!_

"Okay, not as long, but still pretty big. Leon?" Katy said.

"Yeah, I have noticed that, and it's messed up! Does it _look_ like I love the guy?! No! I can't stand him!" Leon said angrily.

"Alright, you can rant later. Keep going." Katy said.

"Lion. That was kind of obvious." Leon muttered.

"Yeah, with the Griever, and the fact your name means 'lion' in Spanish, and the lion-ish pride…" Katy listed.

"No, because Cloud probably would've done something _else_ stupid to ruin it!" Leon aid glaring at Cloud, who merely glared back.

"Okay, no staring contests here! Cloud, go!" Katy said.

"Yeah, I noticed too, and like Leonhart said, it's crazy! Where do these guys get the idea that we _love_ each other?!" Cloud asked.

"I think it was because of that one part in KH2 when you and Leon fighting back to back." Katy said.

"But I insulted his fighting abilities in that scene!" Cloud pointed out. Katy shrugged.

"Then I dunno." she said.

"Awesome! I told Yuffie it was normal!" he shouted. Yuffie stared at him in disbelief.

"It is _not_, Spike! You're not supposed to get joy from those sort of things!" the ninja shouted. Cloud smirked.

"Well, apparently the readers do! And no, we wouldn't. Because if Leon and I were friends, it would ruin the natural order, all the worlds would collapse on themselves, and we would all die. So, we have to hate each other. By hating each other, we're saving the worlds." Cloud explained. Katy paused in thought.

"You know…I think I gave that same excuse to my mom when she tried to get me to wear a dress with no boxer shorts underneath…" she mumbled to herself.

"Thank you! For once, someone understands me!" Cloud shouted.

"I understand you, Cloud." Katy said. Cloud glared at her.

"You're one of the people who torture me!" he shouted. She shrugged.

"So?" Katy asked. Cloud face-palmed.

"Just tell Yuffie to answer her questions." he mumbled.

"Yuffie, answer your questions." Katy said.

"I'm pretty sure they're just kidding around." Yuffie said.

"Oh, no we're not." Leon and Cloud said at the same time with dead-serious expressions. Yuffie glared at them.

"Shut up! What do you two know?! Uh, maybe, when I was _reeeeeeally_ little, but I don't remember. Oh, way too many times to count! It's like living with five-year-olds…except with cussing." she said.

"That's really saying something, coming from the youngest in the group, guys." Katy pointed out. They shrugged.

"We're not _that_ bad…" Cloud mumbled.

"Alright, my questions! Well, it's only some yaoi that I don't like. When a writer takes a guy who obviously has a girl, like Sora, and pairs him with another guy, like Riku, I don't like that. Or when someone takes two guys who are _just _friends or don't even like each other at all, like Leon and Cloud, I don't like that either. I can tolerate some yaoi, though." Katy explained.

"That's a long explanation." Xed mumbled. Katy shrugged.

"Whatever. Yeah! Viva la Bam! Bam is _so _underappreciated these days, even though he's an awesome skateboarder! Is it illegal to act a little crazy nowadays?" Katy asked

"Bam's not a _little_ crazy, Katy. He's completely _insane_." Xed said. Katy rolled her eyes.

"You say that like it's a bad thing. Because I live with a sister who's completely obsessed with them! Maybe if Jess didn't go overboard with her Twilight obsession, I wouldn't mind them! But she does, and it drives me nuts! Damn vampires… Uh, an ending? Never actually thought about it…we can discuss that later, 'kay? Only four, huh? Well, guess I'd have to say…Leon, Cloud, Yuffie, and Aerith. Life with them would be awesome…but enough of my daydream. Well, there's one more chapter of fanmail left, but I might do it again later on in the story." Katy said.

"Next question from _Ellia-chan_:

_okay i can't think of anything good so how about this!_

_"what does cloud's hair resemble more, a chocobo head or a chicken butt?"_

"Definite Chocobo. Cloud's hair looks nothing like Sasuke Uchiha's." Xed said. Katy grinned.

"I love Chocobos." she said.

"Next question from _Carbuncle Eyes_:

_OKay, so I got your email the other day, and I've been thinking about thesefew questions, so here goes. They kinda suck, though. -_-;_

_1:This one is for you. What gave you the idea for Leon Gets?_

_Everyone2:Worst wake up call? Let me tell, you, a bucket of cold water inthe facew while your sleeping? Not fun. _

_3:OKay, I want to know everyones favorite word. I have a few, butmy favorite is behoove. lol_

_Everyone4: Tattoo's or piercings? _

_Everyone5:What kind of chocolate?_

_Everyone6: Zelda or Mario?_

_I'm sorry they all suck, but I'll give it more thought so hang in there._

"Alright, last one of the chapter. What gave me the _idea_? Absolutely nothing; I was just bored." Katy said.

"That's a nice reason." Xed said sarcastically. Katy grinned.

"Isn't it? Worst wake call? Hearing a buzz saw ringing in your ears." she said.

"A buzz saw?" Cloud asked.

"Don't even ask. Now, what about you Xed?" she asked. Xed shrugged.

"I dunno. Probably that time you thought it would be funny to blast "Livin' on a Prayer" at max volume at _4:30 in the morning_." he growled. Katy grinned sheepishly.

"Hey, I couldn't sleep and it was _too_ funny, thank you very much!" she said. Xed glared at her.

"To you." he said angrily.

"Yeah, whatever. You just don't have a sense of humor. And you guys?" she asked.

"Cloud's alarm clock, hands down." Leon muttered.

"_Cloud's_ alarm clock?" Katy asked in confusion.

"He always sleeps through it, so one of us have to go in his room and turn it off for him." Yuffie explained bitterly.

"Ah, I see. What about you, Cloud?" Katy asked.

"When Yuffie beat me with my own pillow." Cloud muttered angrily.

"Alright. Favorite word?" Katy asked.

"Does anyone even have a favorite word?" Cloud asked. Katy raised her hand a little.

"Okay, what?" he asked. Katy grinned.

"Lycanthrope." she said. Xed looked at her in confusion.

"Werewolf?" he asked.

"No, lycanthrope. Lycanthrope sounds cooler." she said. Xed rolled his eyes.

"Whatever. Next." he said.

"Tattoos." Katy said.

"Same." Xed agreed.

"…Tattoos." Cloud and Leon muttered. Yuffie crossed her arms.

"What is with you guys and tattoos?" she asked. Xed shrugged.

"Tattoos are awesome." he said.

"I'm guessing everyone else is gonna say piercings?" Katy asked. They nodded.

"Alright, then. I think we've already established Hershey has the best chocolate ever, so let's move on. Zelda or Mario?" Katy asked.

"…Mario." everyone said. Katy frowned.

"What, Zelda gets no love?" she asked. No one said anything. She crossed her arms.

"Man, you guys suck!" she said. Xed glared at her.

"Well, what about you?" he asked. She looked at her feet.

"…Mario…" she mumbled.

"Exactly." Xed said with a smirk.

"Whatever! Well, that's all the questions we have this time, and next chapter's our last fanmail chapter. So send in whatever questions you have left! And we'll be having special guest…Leon Jr.! See ya next time!"

--

**AN**: Finally! Alright, I think that chapter may have been a little weak, but it depends on what you guys think. Send in those questions!

**Next Chapter:** Lat fanmail chapter!

R&R!!!


	19. To Answer Fanmail Conclusion

**AN**: Alright, guys! Guess what? I GRADUATED!!! As in, I didn't fail! As in, I passed! As in, I don't have to go to summer school! As in, I'll have more time to write this and my other stories! …I'm getting off topic here. Now it's time for the last fanmail chapter! Let's get started!

**Disclaimer**: I own nothing but my OCs and my diploma…'cause I graduated!!! (I'm really happy I graduated.)

--

Leon Gets…To Answer Fanmail (Conclusion)

"Hello, readers! I have a special announcement! I'm a graduate!" Katy said happily with a grin.

"Okay, for the fifteenth time, we get it. You graduated. Yippee. Can we please just shut up about it now?" Xed growled angrily. Katy pouted slightly.

"…Fine. But anyway, as promised…and much to Cloud's distaste…we've brought in Leon Jr. as a special guest!" she said, motioning to the brown kitten on Leon's shoulder. Then, she paused.

"Hey, wait a sec…where _is_ Cloud, anyway?" Katy asked in confusion.

"Hiding under your bed." Yuffie stated. Katy kneeled down to look under her bed where, sure enough, Cloud was hiding, holding a yellow plush chicken protectively.

"…Uh, Cloud? Hate to bust your bubble, but, uh…a toy Chocobo isn't the best bodyguard." she said.

"I know…but it's all I have…" Cloud whispered, holding the stuffed animal closer.

"Yeah, well…you're scaring Cloud." Katy told him. He tilted his head to the side in confusion.

"What?" he asked.

"Cloud. That's the Chocobo's name. See, the little tag on his wing says so." Katy said. Cloud (Strife) looked at the tag on Cloud's (the Chocobo) wing, seeing the name 'Cloud' written on it in blue ink.

"…You named a toy Chocobo after me?" Cloud (Strife) asked after a moment. Katy shrugged.

"It was the hair. But you need to come out for there. We need to answer questions and…hiding under a bed from a kitten doesn't look good, Cloud." she said. Cloud sighed in defeat.

"Fine…but I'm keeping the Chocobo."

"Only until the end of the chapter."

"Deal." Cloud muttered, crawling out from his hiding spot. Just as he did so, Leon Jr. hissed at him angrily. Cloud, in response, whimpered slightly, holding his 'bodyguard' up protectively.

"Um, okay! Sorry about that minor distraction, but we're ready for questions now! Let's get started! First question from _Yunie Tatlin_:

_MWAHAHAHAHA!!_

_Yay Cloud, you're right! But they aren't just any fish! They're piranhas! Now you can feed fish to your fish! :D *Jumps on Cloud's back* I'm staying here the whole day, maybe even the whole week! *Smells Cloud's hair* You even smell of awesome._

_anyway, I can't give Cloud all my attention._

_Leon, just how bad were those "mental images" anyway? Still have them or did I just remind you?_

_Uh, Yuffie are you going to kill me for giving Cloud fish? if you are going to can you wait until "Leon Gets..." is over?_

_Cid, I'm sorry._

_Merlin, I've got nothing against you! People just have some messed up heads now a days._

_I love Leon Jr. Really I do._

_Xed, I know you're awesome, don't go denyin' it! Really, you almost gave Cloud the best day ever! I mean makin' Leon have to listen to EVERYTHING someone told him to do, it's like a dream come true for Cloud.(Yes, sorry Cloud gets 50% of my love. 25% goes to Katy for makin' this fic and 15% goes to Xed. The rest goes to the rest of ya.) Plus, your a super cool demon! You can change your appearance! How cool is that?_

_Okay Katy, could you make a "Leon gets... a nightmare"? Or... "Leon gets... replaced"? Like make some random person take his place. And now my window is glitching so it's hard to see what I'm writing!_

_Well see you guys later,_

_Love yas(YES I'M MAINLY TAKING ABOUT CLOUD! But the rest of yas count too!)_

"Nice evil, psychotic laugh…" Katy commented.

"Uh, okay…thanks for the piranhas and all, and that whole 'smelling of awesome' compliment, but…could you get off?" Cloud asked. Yunie Tatlin only responded but holding on tighter.

"Hey, I've got a Chocobo and I'm not afraid to use it!" Cloud shouted.

"Uh, Cloud? Two things: One, that was the worst threat ever. Two, let me handle this." Katy said, before walking over to Yunie Tatlin.

"Hey, I'm real sorry about this, but you can't be here. But, hey! I got an offer for you! If you let go of Cloud and leave quietly, you can be my co-host for the "Cloud Gets…" fanmail chapters! You can hold me to that, too! So, whaddaya say? Deal?" Katy asked, holding out her hand. Yunie Tatlin seemed to consider this, before nodding and shaking Katy's hand. Katy grinned.

"Awesome! We'll talk later, okay?" she said as Yunie Tatlin left.

"Thank God…" Cloud breathed in relief.

"Yes, they were that bad. They were horrible." Leon said.

"You mean like that little ball of fur on your shoulder?" Cloud asked. Leon Jr. hissed again and leapt off of Leon's shoulder, startling Cloud. The blond yelped and hid behind the closest person to him, which just happened to be Aerith.

"…Wow. You're really pathetic, you know that, Spike?" Yuffie asked. Cloud glared at her.

"Shut up! I am not! That cat is just pure evil!" he said, holding Cloud the Chocobo tightly.

"…Y'know, you're acting just like that kid offa that one cartoon on that new channel, Disney XD. You know, the one about the kid and the alien cat that wants to kill him? But whatever. Moving on." Katy said.

"…Nah, I'm not gonna kill you! You said I rocked!" Yuffie said.

"Exactly. You can't kill someone who complimented you. Now, it's Cid…who, might I add, is completely underappreciated these days! Just like Bam Margera…" Katy said, muttering the last part.

"Aw, what the hell? I'll forgive ya." Cid said.

"Now Merlin, who is equally underappreciated. Damn Hannah Montana…" Katy said, growling the pop star's name with malice and hatred.

"Well, it's good to know that someone still appreciates the classic Disney characters." the wizard said.

"Damn High School Musical…" Katy growled with equal malice and hatred she used when saying Hannah Montana's name.

"I'm sure Leon Jr. appreciates the love. Okay, you can _think_ I'm awesome all you want. I'm just saying I know I'm not awesome." Xed said. Katy rolled her eyes.

"Okay, would you do me a favor, and cut it out with the angst already? God, next thing you know you're gonna start going emo and slit your wrists and all that crap." Katy said angrily. Xed shrugged a little, showing he didn't care.

"Hmmm. Alright, I'll write those down." Katy said, writing something down on her notepad with a grin. Cloud glared at her.

"You're writing the 'Aerith getting drunk' thing again, aren't you?!" Cloud shouted accusingly. Katy paused, before laughing stupidly.

"…I-I am not!" she shouted, scribbling something out on her paper. Cloud glanced over her shoulder and scowled.

"Then, what's that scribble mark on the paper?" he asked suspiciously. Katy paused again.

"Th-that…that's a…that's a picture! Yeah, a picture! Of…of a dead Heartless! It's just…n-not finished yet…'c-cause I have to draw the heart." Katy stuttered dumbly. She took a moment to draw a little heart above the scribble.

"There. S-see? The heart's floatin' up to the sky…t-to Kingdom Hearts." she mumbled. Cloud scoffed.

"It better be a dead Heartless." the blond muttered.

"Anyway, next question from _always-kh_:

_I'm really not good with q's. _

_oh i looked at the lyrics for matchbox 20 songs i like the lyrics and know at least one of the songs and it's your msge heading it's okay sorry i didn't re b/f but i figured i'd waituntil u were back. it's okay abt the squiffie thing and it might be wierdanyway since squall's so much like u'r bro i'd find that really wierd too personally. cloud gets sounds funny too. i'll vote if i haven't already._

_okay i have a q for u: which character can u most identify with?_

"Yeah, Matchbox Twenty! They're awesome. I love Rob Thomas. Uh, lessee…prob'ly Yuffie. 'Specially when I'm hyped up on sugar and/or caffeine. Ask anyone in my family. Or any of my friends. Although half of my friends _are_ crazy…" Katy said, muttering the last part thoughtfully. Leon crossed his arms.

"You mean like your fangirl friend April?" he asked angrily. Katy scoffed.

"Oh, I have friends who are worse. Like Brianna. Or Corey. Or Charles. Or Emmett. Or Ebonie. Or Valerie. And the list just goes on and on and on." she listed.

"Remind me to stay very far away from your friends." Leon mumbled.

"Alright, next question from _Carbuncle Eyes_:

_Hi Katy (I can call you that right?) Just got your message and pulled theseout of thin air. Hope it helps!_

_1: What's everyone's favorite midnight snack? _

_2: Cloud: How much hair gel do you use? I mean, your hair practically defies gravity._

_3: Leon: I remember Cloud saying something about you almost not graduating middle school? Really want to hear about that._

_4: Yuffie: What is the most annoying thing those two have done?_

_5: Aerith: How can you always be so....calm and....nice? Haven't you ever exploded at these two?_

_Well, that's all I could think of. If I think of others, I'll send them in, kk?_

"Ah, favorite midnight snack…there's just so many to choose from… Uh, lemme think…probably leftover pizza. One of the classics." Katy said.

"You do realize midnight snacking is bad for you, right?" Leon asked. Katy shrugged.

"Yeah, whatever. It's basic human nature. When you're hungry, you eat. And when you stay up 'til midnight, you get hungry. Why do you think fast-food restaurants are open 24/7 now?" she said.

"'Cause people are morons who get urges for double cheeseburgers at 3 in the morning?" Xed offered.

"Shut up." Katy said.

"Just sayin'." he muttered.

"Okay, well, is there anybody that doesn't care about the stupid heath facts and still gets midnight snacks?" Katy asked. Cloud shrugged a little and raised his hand. Katy nodded.

"Yeah, I figured as much." she mumbled.

"Don't really have a specific favorite, but any kind of sandwich works for me." the spiky blond said.

"Alright, what about the hair gel question?" Katy asked.

"You really think I count? I don't know; a lot." Cloud said.

"Wow. Nice answer. But whatever. Let's keep going." Katy said. Leon groaned slightly.

"Oh, God…yes, I almost failed eighth grade! Is it really that important?" he asked. Cloud grinned.

"Yes. Yes, it is. Go on, tell 'em the story." the blond said eagerly. Leon glared at him.

"You're enjoying this, aren't you?" he asked. Cloud nodded.

"Yes, very much." he said. The brunet sighed.

"Fine. When I was 13, I didn't get algebra, so I was failing math class. As a result, I almost didn't pass middle school. Happy?" Leon said, directing the last part at Cloud. The other man frowned and shook his head.

"No, you're not done. Tell 'em the part about the tutor." Cloud said. Leon glared at him.

"No. Nuh-uh. Not happening." he said.

"Come on, Leonhart. Tell 'em about the tutor or I will." Cloud said. Leon sighed.

"Alright. To pass, I had to take a test to get my grade back up. And so I got a tutor to help study. That tutor just happened to be Cloud." he muttered. Cloud grinned.

"I love that story." the blond said.

"Math's a bitch, ain't it? I almost failed math class too. But that wasn't 'cause I didn't get it, I was too lazy to do the homework. Then again, that's the same thing that happened in Science. And Spanish. And Social Studies. And Language Arts." Katy said.

"Did you do in homework in _any _of your classes?" Cloud asked. Katy nodded.

"Art." she said with a grin.

"Most annoying thing? Well, there was that one time they got into a marshmallow fight." Yuffie said.

"Hey, that wasn't me. He just started throwing marshmallows at me for no reason." Leon said, pointing at Cloud, who, in turn, crossed his arms.

"Hey! I had a reason, thank you very much!" he said defensively. Leon glared at him.

"That being…?" he asked.

"I was bored." Cloud said.

"That's not a reason! That's just stupid!" Leon said.

"No, you know what's stupid? You're stupid!" Cloud said, completely forgetting about the furry ball of terror waiting at Leon's feet. Said 'furry ball of terror' (AKA Leon Jr.) then padded up to Cloud and clawed at his leg. The blond yelped and stumbled backward. Once on the ground, he curled up into the fetal position and started whimpering like a beaten puppy. Leon Jr. then quickly lost interest in the cowering man and went off in search of food.

"…Is he in the fetal position because of a kitten that's not even in the room anymore?" Xed asked. Katy nodded.

"That appears to be the case." she said.

"Yuffie's right. He _is_ pathetic." the demon muttered.

"Well, Aerith. Answer the question." Katy said.

"I don't feel the need to yell at them because Cid yells at them enough." Aerith said. Cid crossed his arms.

"The only reason I yell at them is 'cause they act like fuckin' morons!" he said.

"Good ol' Cid." Leon muttered.

"Next and final question from _Yunie Tatlin_,

_Umm, I already sent a review._

_Anyway, I was planning to ask if you would do a cloud gets! XD_

_Yes, I do love Cloud (Heehee) _

_So you need more questions huh? Well, I'll see if I can get some from my friends._

_But since I'm here I might as well ask you (and everyone else from Leon Gets...) What's the longest time you ever spent in the waiting room of a hospital? _

_For me it was 6 hours! Yep, just happened today!_

_Oh! One more thing for you Katy, will my/Cloud's piranhas show up in Leon Gets...? _

_Huh? Huh? _

_Well, I'll try and find questions! See ya!_

"Longest I've ever been in the waiting room? Two and a half hours. Y'see, I was waiting for my sister to get off work, 'cause we were going to a ball game right after. So my mom dropped me off at the heath clinic that my sister works at after school. I spent most of my time making paper airplanes out of my math homework." Katy said.

"So instead of _turning in _your math homework, you turned it into paper airplanes?" Leon asked.

"It was homework that was already checked! I'm not _that _stupid! Now, I already know Xed's never been to a hospital/health clinic, so we'll move on. What about you guys?" Katy asked.

"I don't think we've ever been in a waiting room any longer than 30 minutes. Emergency room: different story." Leon said.

"Alright, and about the piranha question, maybe. I'll try and think of some way to include them in there. Well, that's the last question! Which now concludes the fanmail portion of this story…for now. I'll probably do this sometime again. See ya guys!"

--

**AN**: And we're done with the fanmail…for now. This chapter would have been up earlier, but I was having some Internet/phone trouble. But I'm back now!

**Next Chapter:** Leon gets (forced) to shared a room with Cloud!

When Cloud room gets flooded, he and Leon have to bunk for a night. That won't turn out good.

R&R!!!


	20. Forced to Share a Room With Cloud

AN**: Holy…crap. I've actually written a twenty chapter story. And counting too! This is a historic moment! A moment of silence please………Okay, enough of that! On to the twentieth chapter (I still can't believe it.)!**

**Disclaimer**: After 20 chapters of saying this, I would think you would've got it by now: I DON'T OWN ANYTHING!

--

Leon Gets…(Forced) To Share a Room with Cloud!

Morning light filtered in through the window of Cloud's room. Said spiky blond was still asleep, his pillow covering his head. He gave a sleepy, unconscious mumble as he rolled over. Unfortunately, he managed to roll off the side of his mattress and hit the floor with a wet splash.

"Wha tha…" Cloud muttered lazily. He may have been half-asleep, but he knew that he shouldn't have felt wet when he hit his carpet. He sat upright and went to run his fingers through his sloppy hair, only to find out his hand was soaking wet. As his eyesight started to come into focus, he began to realize his entire bedroom floor was covered in water.

"W-what…?" Cloud asked himself, trying to stand up. He used his bed as support and pulled himself to his feet. However, when he tried to walk forward, he slipped and fell onto his back, also hitting his head on his nightstand.

"Oww…" the blond said, bringing a hand to the back of his head. Then, he heard the door open.

"Cloud, are you…" Aerith's voice trailed off at the sight of the water. Cloud looked up at her and he grunted slightly as he sat up.

"Why is my room soaking wet?" he asked, slightly dazed.

"…I'll call a plumber." Aerith said.

--

"Well, looks like ya got yerself a busted pipe. Nothin' big, though. I can have it fixed by tomorrow." the plumber said in a slight southern accent, scratching at some stubble on his chin. Cloud's eyes widened.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, back up! Tomorrow? I _sleep_ in that room. I need it done by tonight." he said (in dry clothes), almost pleading. The older man shook his head slightly.

"Sorry, kid, but no dice. The soonest I can have it done is tomorrow afternoon. I ain't no miracle worker." he explained. Cloud visibly drooped as the plumber turned to Aerith.

"I'll just need ta pick up a few things from the hardware store an' I can git ta work." he told her and she nodded in understanding. The southern man grabbed his toolbox and started to walk towards the door, but then turned back to Cloud.

"Sorry for the inconvenience, kid." he said and Cloud sighed, raising his hand in dismissal.

"No, it's okay…" the blond muttered and the plumber shrugged slightly before leaving. As they heard the truck drive off, Cloud groaned, collapsing on the couch.

"Well, this sucks! Where am I supposed to sleep tonight?!" he asked angrily. Aerith and Yuffie glanced at each other before turning towards Leon. He noticed this and frowned.

"What?" he asked, crossing his arms. Yuffie grinned hopefully.

"Cloud could always bunk with you." she said. Leon and Cloud both stared at her in disbelief.

"I'm not sharing a room with _him_!" they both said simultaneously, pointing towards the other.

"It would only be for one night!" Aerith pointed out.

"I'm not sharing _my_ room with him!" Leon said angrily. Cloud crossed his arms angrily.

"I'd rather sleep in the basement. With the _rats_!" the blond growled.

"We don't _have_ rats, Spike." Yuffie said.

"Well, if we did have rats!" Cloud shouted. Aerith turned to Leon, who was looking away with his arms crossed stubbornly.

"Leon, please? It would only be for one night. How bad could it be?" she asked.

"This is Strife we're talking about. It would be like hell, except ten times worse." Leon growled. Yuffie grabbed his arm in a begging fashion.

"Aw, come on, Leon! One night! ONE! That's all! Please?" she asked, pouting. Leon growled and pulled his arm away.

"I said no!" he said angrily. Yuffie glared at him.

"Leon, do you want me to tie you to a chair again?!" she asked, poking him in the chest. He sighed.

"…No…" he muttered.

"Then you will let Cloud sleep in your room tonight." Yuffie commanded. Leon sighed miserably.

"…Fine." he said. Cloud crossed his arms.

"I think you're forgetting something. I still haven't agreed to this." he pointed out. Yuffie groaned.

"Where else are you gonna sleep, Spike?!" she demanded. Cloud paused.

"I don't know…the basement?" he tried.

"How are you gonna sleep in the basement? There's no room!" Yuffie shouted.

"Okay, fine…the couch?" Cloud tried again.

"You'd fall of the couch." Aerith pointed out. Cloud thought again before sighing.

"Fine, I'll bunk with Leonhart." he mumbled angrily.

--

Late that night, Cloud laid on the floor of Leon's room, still awake. Leon had already fallen asleep some time ago, but Cloud laid there, extremely pissed off and bored out of his mind. He rolled over onto his side, drumming his fingers on the carpet lazily.

"…Why did I ever agree to this…?" he muttered angrily

_Damn, stupid plumbing…how am I supposed to sleep on the floor?! I mean, come_ _on! My crappy mattress is more comfortable than this!_, Cloud thought angrily, rolling over on to his back. He sighed, but then noticed something hanging off the edge of Leon's desk. It fell and gently floated to the ground. Cloud reached over and grabbed it. Inspecting it closer, he found it to be a normal, blank sheet of computer paper. Cloud grinned slightly as he began folding the paper.

_Fold the top corners, fold 'em again, fold it in half, bring the wings down…there!_, he thought, holding up his newly made paper airplane. He spent the next few minutes straightening the wings out and playing around with the nose slightly. Then, casting a glance over to Leon, who still lay fast asleep, Cloud got another idea.

"…No harm in giving it a little test run…" he muttered to himself. After making sure his creation was ready for flight one more time, Cloud tossed the airplane with a light flick of his wrist. It hovered in the air for a moment and hit Leon it the back. The brunet mumbled slightly, but other than that, the paper airplane had no effect.

Cloud swore under his breath before crawling over to retrieve his trusty handmade aircraft. Upon retrieval, the blond quickly slunk back to his make-shift "bed", which consisted of a blanket and his pillows. He then stared at his airplane intently, as if a magic Idea Fairy would appear from it if he stared hard enough. Then, as if by a miracle, Cloud was struck by inspiration.

He quietly scurried over to Leon's desk and grabbed a couple more sheets of paper. Once he had his materials, as silently as he could manage, Cloud began crumpling up the pieces of paper into the little projectiles otherwise know as paper balls. Cloud readied one of his tiny missiles and tossed it as the back of Leon's head. The other male groaned slightly.

"…Cut it out, Strife…" he muttered sleepily. Cloud grinned at the fact he finally got a response.

"Don't wanna." the blond replied before tossing another one of his paper balls. Leon growled and sat up in bed.

"What do you want?" he whispered angrily. Cloud looked at him in confusion.

"I don't want anything." he said.

"Then why the hell are you so goddamn intent on waking me up?" he asked, glaring at the blond. Cloud shrugged in response.

"I was bored." he stated. Leon groaned before laying back down.

"Go to _sleep_, Strife. And quit wasting my paper." he muttered, pulling his covers back over him. Cloud crossed his arms in a fed up matter and glared.

"I was gonna recycle 'em when I was done…" he said under his breath.

--

One hour and exactly 18 minutes later, Cloud had finally been able to fall asleep. Unfortunately, that in turn caused the exact opposite for Leon. The brunet lay wide awake as Cloud laid on the floor next to him, sleeping peacefully.

"…Dammit…we _really_ need to get Strife some nasal medications or something…" Leon mumbled. He looked over at the blond, who was sprawled out on the floor, snoring loudly. Leon growled and sat up angrily. Pulling himself out of bed, he stumbled into the bathroom, not even bothering to try and be quiet because he knew Cloud was too deep a sleeper to wake up to a few squeaky floorboards.

Flicking on the bathroom light, Leon grabbed one of the paper Dixie cups used for spit rinsing. He then filled it with cold water and turned off the light behind him. Then, standing over Cloud's unconscious (practically comatose) body, he dumped the contents of the paper cup on the blond's face. Cloud jolted up right, coughing and spitting out water. He glared at Leon before shaking his head to dry his hair.

"What the hell, man?! I'm trying to sleep here! …And you got my Nickelback shirt wet, you jerk!" Cloud shouted, wringing out the bottom of his black "Nickelback: All The Right Reasons" shirt.

"Yeah, remember when I told you to go to sleep? Completely disregard that." Leon said. Cloud scratched the top of his head lazily.

"What are you talking about?" he asked in confusion.

"You _snore_, Strife." Leon growled. Cloud glared at him.

"Do not." the blond replied angrily.

"Dude, you could freakin' wake Rip Von Winkle." Leon said. Cloud scoffed and laid back down.

"Yeah, whatever. Just don't go pouring any more ice water on my head…" the blond mumbled, pulling his covers over his head.

--

The next morning, Yuffie climbed out of bed happily. She was eager to see if a night sleeping in the same room had altered Leon and Cloud's rivalry in any way, hopefully for the best. Walking into the kitchen, she grinned.

"Mornin'-" she was cut off when Aerith shushed her. She gave the brown-haired woman a confused glance, but Aerith only motioned to the table. Yuffie looked over in surprise.

Cloud sat at the table with his forehead resting on the wood with one hand on the back of his head. His other arm hung limply at his side. A small amount of drool dripped out of the corner of his mouth as he snored. That…wasn't all that surprising. Yuffie expected Leon to wake up Cloud early, thus making him sleepy.

No, what was surprising was the fact that sitting right across from him was Leon, head laying on top of his arms, which were crossed comfortably on the tabletop. His shoulders rose and fell gently with each breath, signaling that he, too, was sleeping. Leon never fell back asleep after waking up in the morning, especially not at the table! Yuffie looked over to Aerith for an explanation, but the other woman seemed just as confused as she was.

"They musta been drivin' each other crazy all night…" Yuffie muttered, and, to her surprise, Leon responded.

"…Toldja it was gonna be like hell, 'cept ten times worse…" he mumbled sleepily, not even bothering to open his eyes.

--

**AN**: And there you have it! Chapter 20! Whoo! And about Cloud's Nickelback shirt, I have one just like it! I'm wearing it right now! I also have a white Matchbox Twenty shirt!

**Next Chapter:** Leon gets to go an adventure!

Leon and Cloud are sent on a mission in Halloween Town! Except some stuff happens and everything goes bad.

R&R!!!


	21. To Go on an Adventure Part 1

**AN**: Chapter 21! Blackjack! …I'm stupid…but anyway, guess who's birthday was a few days ago? MINE!!! Yay! And I got the Rob Thomas album "…Something to Be", so if my writing seems any different, it's probably the CD's influence.

**Disclaimer**: I don't own anything…AT ALL!! Will you freaky lawyers get off my back?!

--

Leon Gets…To Go on an Adventure! (Part 1)

Cloud stepped off of the gummi ship onto the dark cobblestone streets of Halloween Town. He took in a deep inhaling breath before letting it out with a grin. His newly grown fangs glinted in the moonlight. He cast a glance over his shoulder to Leon, who had also stepped out of the gummi ship.

"You smell that, Leonhart? That is the smell of Halloween Town." Cloud said, motioning to the town filled with all things creepy in front of them.

"You mean the musky scent of rotting flesh? I just thought that was you not taking a shower for three days straight again." Leon said. Cloud glared at him.

"Hey, watch it, wolf boy!" the blond growled, making a shot at his Halloween Town transformation. Sure enough, Leon was now a werewolf with the ears and tail to match. Cloud, on the other hand, was now a vampire with dramatically paled skin and long fangs where his upper canine teeth should have been.

"I believe the correct term is _lycan_." Leon corrected. Cloud scoffed.

"Yeah, whatever. Like it matters." the blond muttered.

"Would you like it if I started calling you Batman?" Leon asked.

"…No. Listen, I would _love_ to continue this _riveting_ game of name-calling, but in case you've forgotten, we're supposed to be getting that medical herb for Aerith, remember?" Cloud said angrily. Leon shrugged slightly.

"Whatever you say, Batman." the brunet lycan said. Cloud growled.

"Lead the way, _wolf boy_." the vampire hissed venomously, flicking Leon's wolf ear. Leon glared at him before punching his in the arm.

"…That didn't hurt." Cloud said emotionlessly. Leon walked off ahead, and Cloud, now wearing an expression of pain, quickly grabbed his arm.

"Oww…" he breathed, rubbing his bicep tenderly. _Note to self: never piss off a werewolf._

"Are you coming or not?" Cloud heard Leon call out from ahead. He quickly dropped his hand from his now bruised arm and ran to catch up.

"Yeah, I'm coming!"

--

2 hours later, Leon and Cloud's search had come up blank. They had been all over town and yet still couldn't find the plant that Aerith had told them to get. They were now taking a break from their search in the Hinderlands. Cloud leaned up against a nearby tree, crossing his arms angrily.

"Dammit! How long have we been at this?" he asked. Leon shrugged.

"2 hours, give or take." the brunet replied. Cloud looked at him dully.

"Do werewolves have some sort of inner wristwatch or something?" he asked.

"No, it's the position of the moon compared to where it was when we got here." Leon replied, pointing to the glowing white disc in the sky.

"Right. Forgot that werewolves are hardcore moon addicts. It's like a drug for you guys." Cloud muttered before slumping to the ground in a crouching position.

"This sucks…" the blond vampire said under his breath, picking up a nearby stick. Then, he angrily tossed it off into the trees, glaring at the ground. After a few moments, he sighed.

"Well, we better get back to work…" Cloud muttered, picking himself up off of the ground. However, it was then he noticed he was alone. Leon was nowhere in sight.

"Leonhart?" he called out in confusion. No response.

"Leon! Come on! This ain't the time to be joking around!" he called out again, except this time in anger. Once again, no response. Cloud scratched his head.

"Where the hell is he?" he muttered to himself, running a quick scan of his surroundings, but _still_ finding no sign of Leon. The blond sighed.

"Maybe he went off into town…" Cloud muttered before walking off in the direction of Halloween Town.

--

"Leon! Seriously, man! Stop screwing around!" Cloud shouted, and, for the umpteenth time, he got no response. The vampire growled in frustration.

"Where the hell did he run off to?!" he asked himself, crossing his arms angrily.

"Why, hello there, good sir! I don't remember seeing you around! Are you new in Halloween Town?" the blond heard a cheerful voice call out from behind him. He turned to see a tall, lanky skeleton man dressed in a black suit.

"…Uh, yeah…" Cloud said after a moment's pause. The tall man frowned.

"Are you alright? You look upset." he asked with concern. Cloud had to resist rolling his eyes.

_Upset…more like majorly pissed off…_, he thought, but refrained from voicing this.

"…Well, I got separated from my traveling companion. You see, we're…drifters." Cloud lied. The tall skeleton nodded in understanding.

"I see…and what does this 'traveling companion' of yours look like?" he asked.

"Uh, he's a werew-er…lycan. He's got brown…fur and light blue eyes. And he's got this scar on his face, so he shouldn't be that hard to find." Cloud described with some difficulty, not used to referring to Leon as a werewolf or having to call his "companion's" hair fur. The skeleton man seemed to pause in thought before grinning widely.

"Well, not to worry, my fine fellow! Jack Skellington is on the case!" he proclaimed with a determined voice. The blond stared at him oddly, starting to wonder if he had made the right decision telling this guy about Leon's disappearance.

--

Meanwhile, Leon paused for breath, leaning up against one of the Hinterlands' trees. He was currently in one the thicker areas in Halloween Town's forest. The lycan growled in annoyance.

"When I find Strife again, I am going to _kill_ him…right after I find this goddamn stick…" Leon said to himself, mentally cursing his canine urge to chase after the twig that Cloud had thrown. He looked up and finally noticed a small, brown stick lying on the ground a few feet ahead of him. He sighed in relief.

"Finally!" he breathed, walking towards the stick and picking it up. However, just as he had, he felt something hard connected with the back of his skull. He collapsed forward, the last sounds he heard before passing out being mischievous giggles.

--

**AN**: Yes, I know: that was a horrible place to end the chapter. Well, I'm sorry! There was no other place that felt right to end the chapter! I'd just like to point out the reason I'm writing this chapter is 1) I wanted to write a chapter that took place in a world other than Radiant Garden, preferably in one of the worlds you transform, and 2) I wanted to get some experience writing Disney characters. I would really appreciate some feedback on how I did for Jack's character, 'cause I wasn't too sure about his character.

**Next Chapter:** Leon gets to go on an adventure! (Conclusion)

Cloud's search for Leon continues. Meanwhile, Leon realizes just how much trouble he's really in.

R&R!!!


	22. To Go on an Adventure Conclusion

**AN**: 'Sup guys! Um, nothing much to say right now, except maybe that I got the new Rob Thomas album "cradlesong". Don't know why you would care about that, but whatever. On with the story!

**Disclaimer**: Guys, really? You think I own Kingdom Hearts? I'm honored, but you are sadly mistaken.

--

Leon Gets…To Go on an Adventure! (Conclusion)

Leon stifled a groan of pain as he awoke. As his vision started to focus again, he brought a hand up to the back of his head. He sighed once he felt a forming lump where he had been hit. Pulling himself off of the ground, he then realized wasn't lying on the_ ground_. The surface that he had been laying on wasn't the forest floor, but something hard with a cold, metallic feel to it.

_What the…?_, he thought in confusion, before seeing that he wasn't even in the forest anymore. He was now caged in a room that looked like every brat obsessed with Halloween's dream. Instead of regular clothes littering the floor, kid-sized costumes lay strewn about. In the place of pictures of musicians and comic book characters on the walls, there were posters of monsters and ghosts and other assorted scary figures. But the one thing the caught his eye was the glinting piece of jewelry lying on the nightstand: Griever. _His_ Griever. And right next to it…his cell phone (he could tell from the silver letters _SL_ on the top).

"Wha-Hey! That's my stuff!" Leon shouted out loud. As lunged at the bars of his cage, he could distinctively hear a light _jingle_. Looking down, he saw a black dog collar fastened around his neck, and hanging off of it was a gold dog tag. He could faintly make out the name scratched into it.

"…'Fluffy'?" he asked no one in particular.

"Hey, guys! Look! Fluffy's awake!" he heard a high-pitched voice say behind him. Turning around, he saw three little kids: two boys and a girl. The thinner boy was dressed in a red devil costume, complete with a red mask that was frozen in an evil grin. The chubbier one was also wearing a costume, but his was supposed to be a skeleton with a skull mask. The sole female was wearing a purple witch costume with a hat with a crooked tip and pale mask. Leon's brow furrowed.

"Fluffy? What the hell are you talking about?!" he asked in a harsh tone. The three children gasped slightly.

"Oooh, Fluffy said a bad word!" the witch girl shouted out.

"Spray 'im, Barrel!" the devil boy said. The chubby boy nodded obediently and pointed a water spray bottle at Leon. Before the lycan could even protest, he found himself with cold water sprayed in his face. He growled angrily, wiping the liquid off of his face.

"What the hell was-" Leon wasn't given the chance to finish his question, because a split second later, more water was sprayed in his face. He gave a loud, annoyed sigh.

"Would you cut it-" More water.

…_Maybe_ _I_ _should just shut up._

--

Meanwhile, Cloud was sitting on the steps of a lab belonging to freaky, duckbilled doctor guy that Jack had called Dr. Finklestein. The blond vampire sighed, resting his head in his hands. Neither he nor Jack had been able to find Leon or any trace of the werewolf. That, and Jack was annoying the hell out of Cloud. How could a freakin' _skeleton_ be so damn lively?! The only good thing that had come of Cloud meeting Jack was that Jack's zombie…female Frankenstein friend had the medical herb Aerith needed and was willing to give it away.

"Cloud, my vampiric good man! How is the search coming along?" Cloud raised his head slightly to see Jack standing there, as energetic as always. The blond sighed.

"Still nothing. I'm just…taking a breather." Cloud muttered. The skeleton stood there with a confused look on his face and the vampire had to resist groaning out loud.

"A break." he explained. Jack grinned in understanding.

"Right! Well, don't worry, for I shall continue the search!" the skeleton man said before running off. Cloud groaned.

_Aw, man! What am I gonna do?! If I go home without Leonhart, Yuffie and Aerith'll kill me! …Maybe I could just stay here…No! No, I have to go home eventually!_, he thought. Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out his cell phone. Before he realized what he was doing, he dialed Yuffie's cell phone number.

…_Wait, what am I doing?! There's no way I'm gonna get service! I'm in a freakin' different wor-_, Cloud's thoughts were interrupted.

"Hellooo?" Yuffie's voice came from the other end. The blond just sat there dumbly with a look of disbelief on his face.

"Um, hey! Anyone there?" Yuffie shouted.

"Yuffie?" Cloud asked.

"Cloud? I thought you were on a mission with Leon in Halloween Town?" Yuffie asked with confusion evident in her voice.

"I…am." the blond said, still trying to process the fact that his call went through. There was pause on the other end.

"…What?" Yuffie asked after a moment.

"I'm in Halloween Town right now." Cloud repeated.

"You mean our cell phone plan is _that _good?!" Yuffie asked, sounding excited and confused at the same time. Cloud blinked, still not fully accepting the fact that a cell phone plan could allow communication between worlds.

"Apparently." he muttered.

"Sweet! So, uh…what'd you call for?" Yuffie asked. Cloud's eyes widened once he remembered his predicament.

"…Uh, Yuffie? How much trouble would I be in if I lost a person?" he asked quietly.

"What? What're you talking…?" Yuffie's voice trailed off and Cloud bit his lip, knowing what would come next.

"Wait a sec! You LOST Leon?!" the ninja shouted angrily.

"Well, technically, _I_ didn't lose him! He just sorta…disappeared." Cloud tried to explain.

"Disappeared? Really, Spike?" Yuffie asked disbelievingly.

"Yeah! I mean, I looked away for, like, 5 seconds, at the most! Then, he was gone! Honest! And when I tried calling him, he didn't answer!" Cloud said frantically.

"What, he didn't pick up?" Yuffie asked. Cloud stared at the phone in confusion.

_Pick up? What is she talking…_, Cloud's thoughts trailed off in realization.

"Phone! That's a good idea! Thanks, Yuffie!" the blond vampire shouted, about to hang up.

"You never tried calling his ce-" the young ninja was cut off as Cloud ended the call. Quickly dialing Leon's cell phone number, he held the phone up to his ear. The other end rung a couple times before someone picked up. But instead of hearing Leon' voice on the other end, he heard someone that sounded like…a kid.

"Hello?" the high-pitched female voice asked.

"Who's this?" Cloud asked in confusion.

"Who's _this_?" a different, yet equally young voice asked. This time it was a boy's voice.

"I asked you first!" Cloud shouted angrily.

"We asked you second!" the boy shouted back. Cloud gave an annoyed sigh.

"I'm Dracula, okay?! Now answer the stupid question!" he said.

"No, you're not!" the girl shouted.

"Yeah, I am! Why wouldn't I be?!" Cloud asked.

"Cuz you don't got the funny accent!" she pointed out.

"'Course I don't! That's stupid Hollywood crap!" Cloud shouted. Then he heard a voice in the background of the call that wasn't one of the kids.

"Would you cut it out with the goddamn spray bottle already?! I fuckin' _swear_ when I get outta here I will rip each of your throats out!"

_Leon!_, Cloud thought!

"Hey! Who's that in the background?!" the blond asked frantically.

"Oh, that's just our new pet werewolf! See ya, Dracula!" the boy said.

"No, wait! Don't-" Cloud stopped once he heard the dial tone and sighed.

_Great. That's just great. A bunch of __kids__ have Leon._, Cloud thought angrily.

"What's wrong, Cloud?" The said man turned to see Jack standing there with a look of concern. Cloud sighed.

"Oh, nothing. I just found out that a couple of kids have Leon." he said bitterly. Jack's eye sockets widened.

"Kids? …You must mean Lock, Shock, and Barrel!" the skeleton man exclaimed.

"You know them?! Wait, could you take me to them?!" Cloud asked. Jack grinned.

"Of course! Follow me!" he shouted before running off. Cloud followed after him.

--

_Ow…ow…ow…_, Leon thought as he hit his head against one off the bars of his cage repeatedly, hoping he could knock himself out and this would all be a bad dream. He had long since shut up, finding no use in talking to the kids if he was just going to end up being sprayed with a water bottle. Then, there as a loud '_CRASH!_' The kids turned their heads toward the noise.

"What was that?" the witch girl asked.

"I dunno. Hey, Barrel! Go check it out!" the boy dressed like a devil said to the chubby boy.

"Why me?" he asked.

"Cuz we told you to!" the devil boy told him as if it were obvious.

"Well…alright." the skeleton boy said, walking towards the door. Before he made it half way across the room, the door busted open to reveal Cloud with an evil grin.

"Surprise, surprise!" he shouted.

"It's Dracula!" the witch girl and devil boy shouted simultaneously, recognizing his voice from the phone call.

"…Yeah, whatever. Listen up! Here's the deal: you let the werewolf go, and I don't bleed you all dry." Cloud growled, showing off his fangs with a psychotic glint in his eye. The kids all glanced at each other.

"You can take him!" the devil boy shouted before running out of the room. The witch girl followed close behind. Cloud's glowing blue eyes narrowed on the last boy.

"W-wait for me, guys!" he shouted before running out of the room. Cloud laughed.

"Brats…" he said before retrieving the key and unlocking Leon's cage. However, right as he did, Leon pounced on him angrily.

"H-hey! What the hell?!" Cloud shouted. Leon bared his teeth angrily.

"What the _fuck_ took you so goddamn long?!" the lycan growled, looking about ready to rip Cloud's throat out.

"Why are you acting like this was my fault?! You're the one who disappeared!"

"You threw the stupid stick!"

The argument continued like this all the way back to Radiant Garden. It was a _long _trip home.

--

**AN**: Sorry for the crappy ending, but I had to cut it off somewhere! BTW, for those of you who haven't realized, "Cloud Gets…" is finally up! Yay! Now all you Cloud lovers can go nuts reviewing that one!

**Next Chapter:** Leon gets competitive!

After an argument over a video game, Leon and Cloud get a _little_ too over-

competitive. …Okay, maybe "little" isn't the right word.

R&R!!!


	23. Competitive

**AN**: Hiya, guys! Happy…Random Day in July! So, I realize I've been pretty lazy the past few days, but I'm here now! So yay! Par-tay! Oh, and I'd just like to point out this chapter is a little different from the other ones. It's got no plot. It's just sort of…a drabble, I guess.

**Disclaimer**: I don't own anything, except…this copy of _Julius Caesar: SparkNotes_, this picture of Rob Thomas, and the idea for the video game featured in this chapter.

--

Leon Gets…Competitive!

The rain fell down gently from above as the dark clouds covered the starlit sky and full moon. A light breeze blew through the field softly. The only two people there were two men, both only about 25. The one that was crouched close to the wet ground glanced over his shoulder at the other, who had just arrived recently. He stood, dark gray hanging over his glowing yellow eyes.

"You came." he stated, turning to face the other man, who smirked in response, raising his eyebrow questioningly.

"Of course, I did, Eric. Did you really doubt that I would?" the other man asked, brushing some dirty blond bangs out of his green eyes, which were glinting evilly. Eric's eyes narrowed.

"You know that I don't go by that name anymore, Neo. And you said you would be here two hours ago." he said dangerously with sparking rage in his tone. Neo laughed.

"Oh, right! I did, didn't I? Well, midnight seemed like such a clichéd meeting time, so I altered it slightly. 2 AM seems so more original, don't you think, brother?" the blond asked with a grin. Eric snarled, sounding almost animalistic, all attempts to hide his anger scrapped.

"Do _not_ call me that. You are _no_ brother of mine." he said venomously, baring his teeth as his canines slowly grew into fangs. Neo's grin faded and he looked at his so-called 'brother' thoughtfully.

"…Right. Tell me something, Eric. Do _all_ of the mutants in your little group abandon their blood ties as you do to me? What have I done to deserve such scorn? Why do you not see me fit to be the man you call your brother?" he asked, seemingly hurt as he gripped the area of his shirt that was over his heart with a sorrowful expression. Eric growled, reaching for the sword strapped to his back.

"Cut the crap, Neo. You called me here for more than to just go Shakespeare on me." he said. The other man, in turn, smirked as he reached for his own sword.

"Impatient as always. Alright then. We fight." Neo said as he unsheathed his sword. Without warning, both men dashed forward, blades ready to cut into the other. Eric slashed at Neo, but the blond dissolved into darkness. He froze, yellow eyes scanning his surrounding for any sign of Neo.

"Behind you." a voice whispered in his ear sadistically. Eric lashed out, sword cutting the thin air. Sweat dripped down his brow, Eric's eyes darting back and forth wildly.

"Too slow!" Neo's voice said from above and Eric looked up quickly, just in time to roll out of the way of his opponent's blade. Neo landed on the ground, his sword impaling the ground. In a split second, however, he was up and in battle again. Eric snarled again, this time sounding like a _real_ animal, before charging at Neo. Eric attacked him in a flurry of slashes, but Neo was able to block each one with a psychotic grin, save for the last one, where he purposely let his guard down. Eric's blade swiped straight through Neo, revealing him to be an illusion. Eric's brow furrowed in confusion before hearing a voice from behind.

"And now you die." Neo cheerily informed Eric. Before he got a chance to attack Neo, or even spit out some witty banter, a sickening _CRACK! _echoed throughout the battlefield and Eric's eyes rolled back in his head. His body slumped to the ground lifelessly and Neo sheathed his blade with a grin. He turned to walk away, but stopped and looked over his shoulder at Eric's dead body.

"Good-bye, _brother_." he said maliciously before walking away with an evil grin.

--

'_GAME OVER_' flashed across the screen of the TV and Cloud grinned victoriously. The blond looked over at Leon, who just stared at the 'Rematch?' screen in disbelief, the video game controller threatening to fall out of his loose grip.

"Looks like I win. Now I believe the deal was I win, you clean my room." Cloud said to his opponent, who's look of shock quickly morphed into on of anger. Leon growled, throwing down his controller.

"No way! You cheated! You used the Neck-Snap cheat code!" the brunet accused. Cloud glared at him, crossing his arms angrily.

"I did not!" he shouted back. Leon then noticed something blue on Cloud's arm sticking out from under his sleeve. Quickly grabbing the blond's wrist, Leon rolled up Cloud's sleeve, revealing 'Up Circle Triangle Left Square' written on his arm in blue ink.

"Right. And how do you explain the button input for the Neck-Snap cheat code written on your arm?" Leon asked. Cloud paused, staring at the symbols written on his skin.

"Um…it's a super rare skin rash that appears in a pattern that looks like a cheat code on the victim's arm?" he tried. Leon glared at him.

"A skin rash? Really, Strife? Is that the best you can come up with?" the scarred man asked. Cloud nodded slowly.

"At the moment, yes. Gimme a few hours, and I may be able to come up with a better excuse." he said.

"Oh, my God, you're a moron…" Leon muttered. Cloud glared at him.

"Alright, that's it. Out of my room." the blond said, pointing to the door. Leon shrugged and stood up, about to walk toward the door. Cloud, however, out of spite, stuck his foot out and tripped Leon. The brunet fell forward landing on the carpeted floor with a grunt.

"You…you did that on purpose!" Leon shouted. Cloud crossed his arms and tilted his head to the side.

"Did _what_ on purpose?" he asked angrily. Leon pulled himself up into a sitting position.

"You tripped me!" he insisted angrily. Cloud shot him a funny look.

"I did not! You probably just tripped over one of my shirts or something." the blond told him. Leon glared at him before grabbing the other man's ankle and pulling him down off of his bed and onto the floor.

"H-hey!" Cloud shouted, hitting the carpet hard. He glared at Leon before jumping at him, putting him in a headlock. Leon growled angrily, grabbing Cloud's arm (the arm that had him in a headlock) and attempting to squirm out of the blond's grip. Cloud then tightened the hold he had on Leon.

"Leon, Cloud, it's time for din…" Both men froze as Aerith opened the door, her voice trailing off. As she gave them both disapproving looks, Leon got out of Cloud's headlock and pointed towards the blond.

"He started it!" Leon said in his defense. Cloud shot him a shocked look.

"Me?!" he shouted. Leon glared at him.

"Yes, you! You cheated, and then tried lying about it!" the brunet told him. Cloud crossed his arms.

"Well, you called me a moron!"

"Becau-" Leon was interrupted by Aerith.

"Leon, Cloud, downstairs. It's time for dinner." she said sternly. The two both shut up, knowing that Aerith was mad, and you _never_ pushed a mad Aerith. The stood up and lowered their heads.

"Yes, ma'am." they both muttered before walking out of the room, looking like two kids found with a baseball right next to the broken window.

The moral of the story? Never piss off Aerith.

--

**AN**: Yeah…like I said, that one didn't really have all that much of a plot… I'm kinda running dry on ideas here, so if anybody would like to help out, I would very much appreciate it! And if anyone is interested in the "video game" at the beginning of the chapter (which I seriously doubt), just PM me or look on my profile under "Ideas: Video Game Ideas". Yes, I'm planning on making that a _real_ video game (hopefully).

**Next Chapter:** Leon gets sick!

Leon somehow manages to catch a summer cold. Luckily (or unluckily, however you want to look at it) for him, Yuffie is there to help!

R&R!!!


	24. Sick

**AN**: Hello there, faithful readers! …Or…not-so-faithful readers who are just humoring me, but honestly think I suck! Both are appreciated! …Sort of. Anyway…today's chapter is sponsored by Cloud the magic chocobo and the letter _F_!

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Kingdom Hearts or that lame attempt at a "Sesame Street" joke!

--

Leon Gets…Sick!

Leon _hated_ get sick with a burning passion. Not only was there the sneezing, the coughing, and the overall feeling like crap, but when you were sick, Aerith made you _stay_ in bed. And you didn't argue with Aerith. Cid had once, and the end result…wasn't pretty. So when Leon had woken up that morning with a fever and sore throat, he had tried to hide it.

He had walked downstairs and sat at the table, attempting ignore the scratchy feeling in his throat and irritating urge to cough. Yuffie had commented, telling him that he looked a little pale. Leon assured her he was fine, but Aerith had already caught on. All she had to do was put her hand on his forehead and "Operation: Hide the Fact that You're Sick from Aerith" had failed.

So here he was…lying in bed, back in his PJs when he _should_ have been out on patrol. He rolled over onto his side, curling up deeper into his mass of blankets. How it was that he was _cold_ when the temperature was somewhere in the eighties outside was beyond him. As he hugged his pillow closer, Leon could feel his eyelids drooping. He gave a little yawn before closing his eyes…

"Hey, Squally!"

…but of course, fate just couldn't give Leon as break. He stifled a groan as he looked over at the young ninja who had just entered his room. He pulled his covers down slightly, glaring at Yuffie.

"…That's…"-he paused to cough-"…Leon." He mentally cringed at his own voice. His sore throat was starting to make him rasp. Yuffie rolled her eyes.

"Yeah, whatever!" she said, before cringing slightly.

"…What?" Leon muttered, and although it was barely audible, Yuffie had heard him.

"Geez, just _looking_ at you is making me sweaty! It's the middle of July and you're wrapped up in heavy blankets!" she shouted. Leon rolled over with his back to her.

"Then don't look at me. Leave." he commanded, though he guessed his scratchy voice made it sound much less intimidating than he had intended it to be. Yuffie crossed her arms across her chest and shook her head stiffly, even though Leon wasn't looking at her.

"No way, mister! Aerith's busy at the hospital today, so I'm gonna be your personal caretaker for the day!" she explained with a grin. Leon glanced at her from the corner of his eye.

"You have a patrol to do." he pointed out, his voice slightly muffled from his covers.

"Cloud's taking care of it!" Yuffie said, and Leon couldn't help but smirk slightly at the thought of Cloud being saddled with not only his regular patrol, but also with an extra two shifts. The poor guy would be practically dead by the end of the day… Leon laughed in his head a little, but was reminded of the task at hand when he remembered Yuffie's presence in the room.

"…You'll get sick too." he stated. Yuffie laughed, making Leon's brow furrow. He failed to see what was so funny about getting sick, seeing as he _was_ at the moment and he felt like crap.

"You don't need to worry about that, Squall! Ninjas have, like…_super_ immune systems!" she said, somewhat proudly. Leon was tempted to roll his eyes.

_Ninjas can pretty much do everything, huh, Yuffie?_, he thought sarcastically.

"Two things, Yuffie. One: It's _Leon_. And two: You're going to _anything_ I want today?" Leon asked. The ninja nodded.

"That's right! So what do you want me to do?" she asked.

"To leave." Leon replied almost immediately. Yuffie groaned slightly.

"I thought we already went through this! I'm not gonna leave you alone!" she shouted. Leon made an odd sound, something along the lines of a mumble crossed with a groan and a whine.

"And why not?" he asked. Yuffie paused, trying to think of a reason.

"Well…think about it! What if…what if I left you alone, but you got thirsty?!" she shouted. Leon raised his eyebrow slightly.

"So I go and get some water. I may be sick, Yuf, but I'm not helple-" he was cut off by Yuffie, who now looked frantic.

"I'm not finished! So…you get up to get some water from the bathroom, but your cold makes you all disoriented! An-and you slip and fall in the bathroom and you slam your head into the bathtub! And then you _bleed to death_!" she shouted, waving her arms around for emphasis. Leon stared at her like she had gone completely insane…which she very well may have.

"So suddenly, I'm going to _die_ if I want to get a drink of water?" he asked. Yuffie nodded rapidly.

"Yeah! Or-or if you wanted to get some food! You could-" Leon cut her off.

"Yuffie, enough. Aerith left some toast right here." he said, pointing to his bedside table where Leon's untouched breakfast sat.

"Cuz she was worried about you falling down the steps and snapping your neck!" the young ninja shouted. Leon pinched the bridge of his nose as he started to feel a migraine forming.

"Alright, _fine_, Yuffie. If you want to help, go get me some aspirin." he mumbled. Yuffie grinned and this little salute.

"Right away, Squally!" she said, and before Yuffie had the chance to correct her, she had was gone. Leon groaned and rolled over in bed for the umpteenth time that day. Pulling his covers back over his head, he savored the small moment of peace he finally got to himself…until a certain spiky blond decided to ruin it.

"Wow. The brave and might Squall Leonhart…sick in bed."

"…You're supposed to be on patrol right now, Strife." Leon muttered, not even bothering to pull down his covers, silently hoping that if he ignored Cloud, the blond would go away.

"I took a break between shifts. Man, Leonhart, you sound like crap." Cloud commented. Leon growled slightly before coughing heavily. Growling was not good on the throat. He reached over onto his nightstand and threw the closest thing within his reach, which just happened to be the toast from his breakfast. There was silence, so Leon hoped that Cloud had taken the hint and left.

"…Did you just throw a piece of _toast_ at me?"

Fate must have really hated Leon that day. Cloud stared at the piece of toast that was _supposed_ to be aimed at him, but landed about 2 feet short, before laughing. Leon groaned, covering his head with his pillow, pleading that Cloud would just disappear. Instead…he got Yuffie.

She had snuck behind Cloud and effectively shut him up by pouring the water that was intended for Leon on the blond's head. Cloud yelped slightly before glaring at her.

"Yuffie!" he shouted angrily, running a hand through his soaking-wet hair, brushing some dripping bangs out of his eyes.

"Would you leave Leon _alone_, Spike?! He's sick, and really doesn't need this from you right now! Besides, you have patrol to get back to!" Yuffie shouted. The blond sighed.

"Alright, fine! I'm going! Geez…" he muttered before walking off down the hall. Yuffie turned back to Leon, who still had his blankets covering his head.

"Uh, I'm gonna go get you some more water, okay?" she told him.

"Uh-huh…" he mumbled, and Yuffie started to walk out the door. But before she could, Leon stopped her.

"Yuffie?"

"Yeah?'

"Thanks." She grinned playfully, even though Leon wouldn't be able to see her.

"No problem, Squally!" And once again, Leon had no chance to correct her, because she had already left.

--

**AN**: There's chapter 24. Now, guys…I _really_ need ideas now. Like, really bad. So, if you've got any ideas at all, send 'em in! It really isn't that hard! I mean, c'mon! I even gave you guys a _form!_

**Next Chapter:** Leon gets déjà vu.

After being struck by lightning, Leon is forced to live the same day over…which obviously serves as a problem.

R&R!!!


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